Real Leaders Go to Therapy First, Then Lead Their Teams Through It | David Cooper

[0:16]  Welcome back to another episode here on the Heart and Hustle podcast. David, man, we were just having a good conversation before we hit record, but I want to start off, man. You were born and raised in the exact neighborhood, and now you serve professionally in Livingston in Oakwood. Most people actually run away from where they came from. Man, you ran back. What does that mean to you personally? Like why?

[0:36]  So, for me, it is giving back. Where I come from and the era in which I grew up, success really meant, you know, you make a lot of money or you make enough money and you move to the suburbs. And yes, I've done that. You know, I made some money, my wife and I, both from the inner city, and we raised our kids in Gahanna. But I started asking the question, you know, like, what about my neighborhood? What about those kids where I come from? What about those families over there?

[1:11]  And I just feel like God wanted me to move back as close as I could possibly get to my neighborhood and make sure that I make a difference. Once my kids got old enough and finished with college, I'm like, man, I want to do something. I end up moving back, coming to Central Community House, working in a nonprofit, and impacting the community.

[1:35]  Well, you're already doing this work throughout your life. Like myself, I find myself doing the work. I didn't realize it. So, have you noticed that? Like, man, this is actually something I've been doing. I'm just doing it at this level now.

[1:47]  Yeah. So, it has always been something I've always done. This is my calling. So, I always say to people I've always been a social worker in some shape or form. So, whether I'm working corporate or what have you, I'm always going to be giving back to the people and helping someone because I wouldn't be sitting here if it wasn't for the community that I grew up in that helped me reach this place where I'm at today. So, I've always done it, you know. Now, I'm definitely more focused in working in this community, working here at Central Community House. Recently, I became an area commissioner for the near east side of Columbus. So, I put my money where my mouth is and make sure that I'm helping my people and my community.

[2:37]  I love it. David, I had an issue recently with my wife, right? Being very transparent here, sometimes as a man when you work so hard to overcome adversity and you understand who you are, and someone challenges who you are as a husband, as a father, the pride in you knowing where you come from to who you are today, like does that still get to you, man, when someone tries to tell you who you're not and you worked so hard to be this person?

[3:07]  I would say yes and no. I mean, I think throughout life, people are always going to challenge you, and people are going to question your motives. I mean, you really have to be rooted in your mission, your personal mission, and who you are, and not allow, you know, naysayers to get you off that path. But, you know, I've definitely experienced that in my time here in my walk. Sometimes you just have to drown out the naysayers and keep it moving.

[3:44]  And what are some of the things you had to challenge even to get here, man? Like growing up, David Cooper didn't just grow up with both parents at home, everything given to him. There were some things that you had to overcome. What are some of those so some of our listeners can realize, hey, none of this was given to me. I've had to really earn this.

[4:30]  You know, definitely I was sharing a story that first and foremost, I always stay humble by just saying I'm David Cooper from Livingston and Oakwood. But, you know, I was that stereotypical bad kid growing up. So, I would do stuff, you know, pranks in school and what have you. And you know, I really was labeled as this bad kid. I remember going to fourth grade at Livingston Elementary School. And that first day of school, when kids get to choose their desk where they want to sit next to their friend, I didn't have that option. You know, when I came in, my desk was already labeled with my name on it, and it was directly next to the teacher's desk, Miss Brookkins.

[5:18]  And Miss Brookkins knew my grandmother, and this was a no-nonsense teacher. But after that year, she really taught me how to be excellent. You know, I came into probably fourth grade reading at a second-grade level, really not taking school serious. By the time I left fourth grade with Miss Brookkins, I was on the honor roll and I remained on the honor roll for the rest of my academic career because of her really instilling worth in me and saying, "Hey, you belong here. This is who you are."

[5:29]  So for me coming up, you know, life wasn't always easy. I come from a single-parent home. My mom was a single mom of three kids, and she was really doing the best she could with what she had. You know, her and I did not have a great relationship, but it was this community that really stepped in and reached me when my mother couldn't. I had a coach, Coach Dunn at the Police Athletic League, who stepped in and really shaped the way that I patterned myself as a man and as a husband today was what I watched him do.

[6:15]  You know, Coach Dunn was the first man I ever saw married to the woman of his children. And when I tell this story, people look at me like, "Huh?" I'm like, I was 14 when I met this man. And I had at least the people that I ran with in my circle, none of us had fathers in the home. And I did not see men married to the woman of their children. He was the first man that I ever saw that. And I was enamored with that. Like his sons were like, "Man, what's it like, you know, to have your dad in the home with you?"

[6:15]  And Coach Dunn took a liking to me, and he taught me how to be a man. He taught me how to pay my bills. My mother would give me a dollar, and we had this club at the Police Athletic League called Bad Boys Against Drugs. And we had to pay a 50-cent dues, and I get that dollar from my mom, and I'm trying to go to the vending machine to get some candy. I don't know if Coach Dunn had a camera outside that vending machine, but he would catch me every time. He said, "Did you pay your dues?" And he said, "A real man pays his bills before he goes and does the things that he wants to do. He does what he has to do first."

[7:49]  And it is funny that at the first of the month, every time that I pay our bills, I think of that lesson that Coach Dunn taught me at 11, or no, it was 14 when I met him. So, age 14, and here it is now being 50. It is still those lessons that he taught me in paying my bills. And you know, because of him, I've been married like 29 years to the same woman, the woman of all my children, as I say, because of those lessons that he taught me.

[8:22]  I love that you were able to, even though dad wasn't in the picture, find a male figure that was still able to pour into you, man. Like when we talk about representation, it matters. It is not just the color of our skin; it is also that male figure that shows back up to mentor and see us for who we are, not for the things we're going through.

[8:39]  And I actually had, similar to what you said, I was 15, 16 years old when I had, you know, cell phones are hot. The new cell phones are coming out. And I was about to get me a new cell phone. And I remember a friend's father asking me why. I said, "What do you mean?" I'm telling him all these ideas of why I'm going to get this phone. And he asked me, "Do you want it or do you need it?" And I never forget that. So every time my wife be like, "Hey babe, we should get this." I'm like, "Do we need it or do you want it?"

[9:01]  Probably the wrong time to use it. But it is like people really one person can change the trajectory of how you think, right? When you see good and sometimes we don't see it in our lives. So it's hard to sit here and chase something we can't see, you know? So it was cool that Dunn was there for you. Brookens, you mentioned, was really there for you.

[9:19]  But it goes even past that because then all these years later, you're sitting at a table, and what happens?

[9:24]  So, recently, Will Hey, Good, a famous author, he wrote the book The Butler, the movie The Butler with Oprah Winfrey in it. Will Hey, Good is from Columbus, Ohio, where I live. And I was recently in a meeting, and they were talking about, "Hey, you know, Will Hey, Good wrote this new book, and it's called The War Within," and they're passing around this book saying, "We should everybody should buy this book and make sure they support Will Hey, Good."

[10:04]  And I'm like, "All right," you know, and they're passing this book around, and I'm sitting at the table, and this book gets to me. And on the cover of that book was Coach Dunn. And so I'm fighting it, not to cry, but I just tell this whole group, "This is my coach." And they're like, "Man, what are you talking about?" And I'm like, "This is the man who is the reason why I'm even sitting at this table."

[10:50]  And this is, I'm in a meeting, and these are, you know, some high-powered people, and a lot of times I'm sitting at this table, and I'm like, "I don't even know how I got here." Yeah. But Coach Dunn apparently had lived across the street from Will Hey. And in his book, Coach Dunn dedicates the book to Coach Dunn because first of all, Coach Dunn fought in Vietnam. And Coach Dunn was a hero of Will Haggood as well.

[10:50]  And he said in the book he tells the story how he was one of the older guys that he went to that would give him some advice and what have you. And I was just like, man, it's full circle. Like, man, Coach Dunn has probably touched so many young people in this community where I'm from. I mean, we all now pushing 50 or in our 50s. And this man, you know, is a massive web of just the lives that he touched while he was here.

[11:36]  So, I met him when I was 16. He had a massive heart attack and died on the basketball court when I was 16. So I had two years with him. But I mean, this man's impact in my life was immeasurable. Like my wife can say she owes something to Coach Dunn. My children can say they owe something to Coach Dunn. And all of the children and families in this community who I mentor, I mean, these are all branches from Coach Dunn because I promise you, I will not be here.

[12:09]  I mean, it's like God has always placed people in my path when I was coming up when I wanted to give up, and it was almost like sit tight. God is like, "You're still on my mind. I'm thinking about you," and he'll put a Miss Brookkins in my path or he'll put a Coach Dunn in my path or even a Coach Hughes, you know, it was different people at different times when I just like, "Man, I can't do this." Like, I quit. It would be the right person at the right time to say, "Nah, hold on. I'm still thinking about you."

[12:55]  You know, now here I am, you know, God is using me to do the same thing for other people to say, "Hold on a little bit. I'm still thinking about you."

[12:58]  I feel that God uses all his strong ones to continue to pour into others. Man, I look back at my life, and it's like someone may have looked at both of us and said, "Man, I'm so sorry." But here we are both really thankful for our lives. Really grateful because, man, the people we got to meet, the things that we get to do, you know, the impostor syndrome kicks in real quick like, "What am I doing here?"

[13:23]  But this was all part of the plan, man. And then you talk about Dunn and how many decades have gone, and you still talk about him, right? And now I can only imagine there were chills going through your body at that moment. He's like, "Wait a minute. How, you know, how sway? This is crazy."

[13:42]  But it's truly legacy. Has legacy changed for you seeing things like this where all these years later, Dunn is still showing up in your life?

[13:51]  Man, I always used to say, if I ever became a principal or something because people used to always say to me, "You should have been a high school principal." I was like, if I'm a high school principal, I'm going to name the basketball court after Coach Dunn or something.

[14:15]  It's crazy. You know, the older you get, the more you start thinking about legacy and what would be the narrative of me and what will my story be? And I truthfully, I only hope that some person will tell a story of me the way that I'm telling the story of Coach Dunn. But you know, more so than anything in this world that we live in, it’s rough sometimes and sometimes it can be bleak.

[15:11]  I was just telling my daughter, when I'm dead and gone and people are talking about me, I could only hope that they can say, "Man, he was a real Christian," because that word Christian seems to be co-opted so much by so many different groups. And here in America, it seems like it brings a lot of pain and hurt. You know, I want to be able to show people the real Jesus, man. Here it is, Good Friday. And there is hope. There is love. You know, I'm not coming to condemn you. I'm not coming here to hurt you. I'm here for you. And that is really my personal mission. And I pray to God that will be my legacy when I'm dead and gone.

[15:40]  I mean, same man. Like the way that we seek on people, I want that too. And I believe it will, man. I believe that the work that you've done, you planted so many seeds, and you're not even going to see all of them watered.

[15:52]  Yeah. You know, you ain't going to see all of them actually come to life, but they're out there. David, you know, you were a part of somebody's life in a very small way. Doctor, you know, talking about Coach Dunn, only two years in your life, and all these years later, you're still talking about him. Now, that is true legacy.

[16:04]  You know, I know you definitely there, man. I know you definitely people talking about you. You don't even know it yet, man.

[16:13]  Yeah, it is. And they do like I get letters from young people now that they're adults and they have their own kids. But again, we have a city council member recently, Tiara Ross here in Columbus, recently elected to Columbus City Council. And I connected with her because she had a Coach Dunn story, and she was like, "Man, Coach Dunn was like my family, you know, they went to the same church."

[16:51]  So, I mean, his web is touching a lot of people.

[16:55]  I love that. I love that. I remember you saying your job is actually to get paid to run your mouth. And here we are having a conversation. But more than that, you're really bridging the gap between resources that exist and the people who actually need them but don't know that they exist.

[17:08]  Why is that gap so hard to close?

[17:11]  So, one of the things we say here in Columbus, Ohio, is that we are very resource-rich. But most people just don't know about it, you know. So, in my position here at Central Community House, I guess my official position is director of outreach and community engagement. And you know, I always tell people long story short, I get paid to run my mouth.

[17:56]  And the knowledge base that I have of the different resources that we have here available just at Central Community House, let me back up. Central Community House has been in the near east side for going on 90 years, and I grew up in this neighborhood, and I didn't even know Central Community House existed and how many people have that same testimony like did not know Central Community House existed.

[18:06]  And so my job is to make sure that the community knows that we're here and we're here to help. But what I do is just really connect people to the resources, and I take that so seriously that here at Central Community House, our saying is, "Our people are central." We have it painted on the wall here. And I always joke, I said, if we ever stop making sure that the people are central, I'm going to paint over the same.

[19:43]  I believe that we don't just do referrals; we make phone calls and say, "Hey, my friend such and such, whoever you are, I am sitting here right now with one of my neighbors, and they need this help. I need you to be able to help them. What do you have for them?" And I also recognize the influence that my voice and then my phone call carries.

[20:13]  And so if I pick up the phone and I call somebody and they see it's David Cooper on the other end, they know like, "Hey, this is serious." So they're going to stop what they're doing, and they're going to help whoever I refer. And I believe like that is our job. That is what we do. And there's a lot of agencies here in this city. But I always like to think that there's none like Central Community House where this is a mission.

[20:24]  We take this stuff serious that we're going to make sure that not just the near east side. We get phone calls and we get people coming in all over the city, but we have a network of settlement houses. We're on the north side. I can call St. Stevens. On the west side, I can call Glad. On the south side, you know, I can call the Reeb Center and say, "Hey, I got a neighbor here. I need you to help." And we just take that so seriously.

[20:13]  You mentioned you call everybody instead of a client, neighbor. Obviously purposely done, but why? Like I can understand why, but for those that are watching, man, I think that's one is a strategic play, but how you make somebody feel.

[20:21]  So let me first say I can't take credit for that. Okay. Miss Darlene, who works here at Central, she runs our front desk, and it was her who said to us all as an agency, "We're not serving clients; we're serving our neighbors," and it gives them humanness.

[21:02]  And so the person on that other end of the phone or that person that's standing before us, they're human first and foremost. So stop what you're doing and address this human. They're not just numbers. They're not just down on their luck, or they're humans first and foremost. So they're our neighbors.

[21:28]  So you're right. I mean, by us changing that word and that mindset, it makes you slow down and understand that we're serving humans. They're not numbers.

[21:39]  Yeah. I love that. No, man. That was actually really good. I think a lot of organizations should see it that way, you know, and they do. I think we can all come together versus all kind of chasing the same thing.

[22:01]  What's cool is that you mentioned you're recently kind of getting into this space, but you left corporate because you wanted to choose purpose over paycheck. What did that decision actually cost you, and how did you know that this was actually the right call?

[22:03]  So, working corporate and running an agency where I was overseeing half of the state of Ohio, I will preface that I was still in some way, shape, or form a social worker. I just had climbed the ladder, and now I'm at the apex. And you know, you still see things that are going on in the world, and you see what's going on in your community.

[22:51]  And I've always been the type of leader that I believe in servant leadership. Let me put it that way. I had a preacher once say to me, he said, "A shepherd should always smell like sheep." And I really pride myself on just that. If you say you work for the people and work with the people, why aren't you among the people?

[23:37]  Going corporate was really being able to send my kids through school, and now that they're done with school and it's just my wife and I now because they're out of the home, it was getting back to me making sure as a shepherd I keep that smell of sheep on me.

[23:56]  So, I came back home. I took a big pay cut. You know, it was one of those things where you say to your wife, "God is in this." And she asks you the question like, "You sure?" And I'm like, "No, God is in this. This is the move."

[24:24]  And my wife supported me with that move to come back to Central. But I've been rewarded in so many other ways. And if I'm being 100% honest, because I was faithful and took care of God's people, I probably just put it this way: financially, I'm okay.

[24:37]  I’m okay, you know? I'll just leave it at that.

[24:28]  Yeah. I mean, you talk about taking a pay cut. The reward is not about the money.

[24:37]  Yeah. Right. Like when you get to see one thing you mentioned is it's not that you're a good guy. You're just ministering to a younger version of you.

[24:47]  That's right.

[24:47]  Yeah. That's it.

[24:49]  And my wife and my best friend, they always say, "Man, one day, I see you as a pastor." And I say, "But I do that work already."

[24:59]  That's it. Like because I'm not in a church on a pulpit, I'm not ministering. I said I'm talking life, and sometimes they don't even know it.

[25:09]  Yeah.

[25:09]  Because you know I'm just here through stories, sharing stories, meeting people right where they're at. Like we are ministering, and that's the paycheck, right? To know like, "Damn, we out here really changing lives."

[25:21]  Yeah.

[25:21]  Because somebody, the Dunns, right? They changed our life.

[25:27]  Yeah. We didn't want to give back to someone the same way someone gave to us.

[25:31]  So when I was younger, I would say like, "Man, I want to be a pastor, you know." Little did I know me pastoring would be a community and not a church.

[25:49]  And so it is about the people. I mean, I always say it's about the people. So if anybody calls me and they want me to do some consulting work for them or to partner with them, that is the first question: is this good for the people?

[26:04]  And if it's good for the people, then I can sign on to it.

[26:06]  You talked about in our earlier conversation when I said that it's not so much that I'm this great guy or I'm this good guy. When I'm doing what I do, I really am trying to still rescue the David Cooper that was a little kid from Livingston Oakwood.

[26:33]  And so I see myself in a lot of these people that I'm helping, and I'm really selfishly ministering to the me that I see in them.

[26:43]  So, you know, I'm still in therapy. I'm still working through that, and I'm still working through that. And people could go one of either way. It just so happened that I went the direction of helping people because I very easily could have been pushed the other way and been a bad guy.

[27:18]  I love that you just mentioned you said this when you were young, and just literally back to the words are so powerful. You say things and you don't even realize what you're saying. Sometimes life would happen, and you're like, "Man, I remember when I said this."

[27:22]  Like I would say things at a young age, like I remember when I met my now wife 15 years ago, and one of the first things I told her, she jokingly said, and I say this all the time, but it was she says, "Um, man, you talk a lot." And I said, "One day I'm going to get paid to speak and talk and travel the world."

[27:55]  And I've been able to do that, you know, like did I know how that was going to look like? Absolutely not. Or leaving high school and say, "Man, one day I'm going to be a host on a stage." Well, God was listening because here I am. This is the stage, and I'm hosting.

[28:02]  You just don't know in what ways it's going to happen, man. And a lot of time when you ask God for something, be very mindful. It's right there in front of you.

[28:04]  Yeah. It may not be disguised as what you wanted and how you wanted it, but it was never our plan, you know, and I love it, man. I love that you go and you do this work, and it's not about you, right? It's about the next generation.

[28:25]  It's about those David Coopers that feel like they are voiceless, that they feel like they're doing this alone.

[28:39]  To say therapy, man, you're four years into therapy, right? You're actively bringing men into therapy. I actually brought this conversation up on how important it is to have representation and someone just to fight for you because you mentioned that there was a kid that didn't want to speak to the therapist.

[28:42]  You said, "Hey, man, you know I love you, right?"

[28:43]  Yeah.

[28:45]  All right. Well, listen, that person's a good person.

[28:47]  Like that is strong. And then you get how you get into therapy actually at this age. What made you say, "You know what? I want to get back into therapy."

[28:54]  Yeah. Me getting into therapy. Now, mind you, I've been adjacent or in this field my whole adult career, and I'm like, "Man, I don't need that. I'm good. I'll just pray about it."

[29:44]  And I could talk forever about church and therapy. But, me and my wife have been together since high school, you know, raising our kids, and there are challenges to being married.

[29:44]  And so I never try to tell people what to do in marriage. What works for me may not necessarily work for you. But I had my nephew pass away. Richard Taylor Jr. was a Marine, and he was really like my son.

[30:32]  I remember times of him telling me, "Man, I wish that you were my dad." And I'm like, "Well, that's cool." But I'm your uncle, so I'll see you whenever. But he was murdered, and that was a tough season for me.

[30:35]  And my wife and I were going through some struggles, and she said something during, you know, me trying to grieve my nephew that just didn't sit well with me. And I was like, I knew at that point, she said, "I'm hurting just like you. I understand your pain because I'm hurting just like you."

[30:32]  And I'm like, "How can you hurt like me?"

[30:32]  Yeah.

[30:32]  So, me and my wife ended up separating. And here I am. I got me a condo fully furnished. I think I'm going to be the man. I ain't gonna lie to you. I was like, "I'm gonna be the man."

[30:32]  Like, I'm gonna jump out here. You know, I've never really experienced dating and all that. I've been with my wife since high school. Man, God had other plans for me.

[31:06]  I was sitting in that condo every night crying and, you know, God dealing with me. But that's when I got into therapy and understanding all the excuses that I had of not going to therapy, like my therapist has to be a man. He has to be a Christian. He has to be an old man.

[31:35]  You know, I bet I had a million excuses, and one of my friends said, "Is that it?" And showed me where I could pick all these different categories and get a therapist the exact same way I want them.

[31:35]  So, at that point, I didn't have an excuse anymore.

[31:39]  So, you know, I started therapy and started healing from my childhood, healing from those traumas that I had. And you know, ultimately six months later, my wife and I got back together.

[32:00]  But I am still to this day working and dealing with those traumas. But I started a group with men, and I used to take them to the shooting range, and I would say, "Man, let's just go to the shooting range and smoke cigars and you know, we this manly stuff."

[32:51]  But really what I was doing is just checking in with those men like, "Hey man, how you doing? How you feeling?" Because I never had that outlet to talk to men, and really we’re supposed to have it all together.

[32:51]  And I really don't have it together. And so from that here at Central Community House, we started a men's mental health group called Mask Off, and taking that mask off and being able to say how I feel and to start getting that healing.

[32:51]  It's led by a licensed therapist, Romel Graves, and I can tell you every session we do it once a month is getting larger and larger. But the best thing that I can say about those groups is everybody that attends one, they've come back to the next one, and we've just added on, and the men are talking.

[33:00]  I mean, I thought it would be pulling teeth. They are talking, and I have nephews that come to that group. My son is in that group. My brother-in-law is in that group. One of my best friends is in that group.

[33:00]  And it sometimes gets uncomfortable when your son is talking about you and my nephews are talking about their dad. I'm like, "Whoa." I mean, but it's just such a safe space, and I always tell my son, "Speak your truth."

[33:00]  Tell my son like, "Man, speak your truth," because I know I wasn't a perfect father. You know, I've already when I got in therapy, I sat all my kids down and apologized for the wrong that I done.

[33:00]  And you know, my hope is only that my son is the only one with the child is that you be a better father than me, but I'm an open book. You know, I want people to get their healing, too.

[34:03]  I love that. I was actually listening to a podcast yesterday, and it was a former wrestler, and he's like, "Man, I've said sorry to you, I am so sorry for who I was."

[34:30]  You know, things, but I'm not that person. I am, you know, I've worked on myself, and that's the most realist thing you could do is if you run into somebody that may have felt some type of way, "Hey, I apologize if I've ever made you feel any type of way."

[34:30]  Because that's, you know, we that was a different version of us. A lot of times people hold on to this old version of someone. It's like, "Man, David Cooper is a whole different person than they knew 10 years ago, five years ago, right?"

[34:30]  Um, so I definitely appreciate that, man. And talk about legacy. You definitely got that going for yourself. But if there's someone listening right now that has that Coach Dunn in their life, they've never acknowledged, what do you say to them, man?

[34:57]  Let people know you appreciate them. Let your Coach Dunn in your life know how much of an impact that they are making on you.

[35:44]  Um, I had a young man that I still work with to this day. I met him when he was 14. He is 22 now. And he's autistic, so he has Asperger's. And one day we're driving in my car because I'm really all that he has. Like he doesn't have family.

[36:30]  And when he came to my group home, I knew he didn't have anybody. So I took to him, and so I still work with him to this day.

[36:30]  Um, but we were riding in the car one day, and it was quiet. We weren't listening to the radio or anything. We just quiet. And he turned and looked at me. He said, "Coop, if you die, I would be very sad."

[36:30]  And I'm like, "Huh?" Like where is this coming from? And I was like, "Now I appreciate that, Justin." He said, "But at your funeral, I'm going to speak."

[36:30]  And he went in to saying right there, "I'm going to tell the world how much you mean to me." And this is a kid with Asperger's, like he does not speak, you know.

[36:30]  And so, of course, we had to hear him change that subject. But to know that I make an impact on him, it helps you meet the day each morning, you know, with a new vigor.

[36:30]  And you're like, "I got work to do." You know, I know that the work that I'm doing is going to impact people.

[36:30]  Last school year, I had a breakfast program out of my trunk. You know, like the Black Panthers used to have a breakfast program, and I was working with this particular family that they're just close to me.

[36:30]  These kids, they call me Pawpa now. And I wanted to make sure that they ate. So, I would pick them up for school and take them to school because their school's literally right around the corner from my office.

[36:30]  And I wanted to make sure that they ate. Well, when they would go home, they would tell the other kids in their neighborhood, "Hey, you know, Mr. Cooper gives us this and he gives us that."

[36:30]  You know, it's basically they trying to flex on the community like, "We do this, we do that." And so the kids started beating up my car when I picked them up and they're like, "Can we have some?"

[36:30]  And I'm like, "Well, then let's expand it." So in my trunk, I would have all this breakfast food. You know, I go to Sam's and pile up on it.

[36:30]  And so on that street, you know, when I go pick up my crew to take them to school, I would make sure that those kids that came to my car that they ate, too.

[36:30]  And I always joke with my kids. I always say, "You know, when I'm old, I'm not worried whether y'all are going to take care of me or not. I said, man, there's so many kids in this neighborhood that I mentor that I'm going to be good."

[36:30]  And two of those kids that I mentor now have their PhDs. So I'm like, "I'm gonna be okay."

[36:30]  Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. You good. No, I think that's amazing. One thing I would change, man, that you just said, David, you said, "I know this work is going to impact." It's already impacting, bro.

[36:30]  Yeah.

[36:30]  Like just me sitting here having a conversation with you, you know, I cherish the conversation whether we talk again or not.

[36:30]  Like there is something about a man that even you getting emotional. Like I'll be joking and say, "Yo, excuse me. I'm on my period. I'm a little emotional, right?"

[36:30]  Like because I realized I don't know why nowadays I get a little bit more emotional, but I tell myself, man, it's okay to cry, bro.

[36:30]  Like all these years I held on tears and I try to be so strong and realize, bro, we're just human, bro. You know, like you don't got to sit here and walk around like things don't hurt you.

[36:30]  And I had to tell my wife recently, like I'm also human, and as a man, sometimes you think that words don't hurt, but at some point it's like, lift me up, love me.

[36:30]  You know what I'm saying? Like we want that as well as humans. So, I appreciate that you're being so vulnerable and being yourself, man.

[36:30]  I talk about men and emotions because many times the only safe emotion for us to share is anger. And really, that's a secondary emotion.

[36:30]  And really being able to get at really how do you feel, you know, and it's not necessarily anger. It could be I'm disappointed, you know, I'm disappointed that my wife didn't know that I needed this or I needed that.

[36:30]  And that may manifest as anger. I'm disappointed at the job. So anger is what I'm safe to show.

[36:30]  You know what I've learned over my journey with therapy is that first and foremost, it is okay to show emotion, but many times those dudes that are so stoic and hardcore because that used to be me are really the most sensitive anyway.

[36:30]  And I'm like, "Yeah, I feel emotion." And I one thing I am not afraid to show is that emotion, you know, anymore.

[36:30]  It's just like, "Yeah, I hurt." Like you said, I hurt just like everybody else. And I'm not ashamed to show that.

[36:30]  I remember when my father died, my kids were saying, "We didn't see you cry." And I used to joke, I said, "Cuz real men cry in the shower."

[36:30]  I don't say that anymore. I'm like work through it, and we gonna be better for being on the other side. And if tears is what you need to show, then let them flow.

[36:30]  I mean, the Bible talks about those tears being liquid prayers. I'm like, and this season in my life, sometimes there's a lot of liquid prayers.

[36:30]  Let's put it that way, you know. And it feels good. It's not always bad, right? It's a lot of good, man.

[36:30]  We talk about just letting it out. You're letting it out, man. Just imagine if we let that built up. I think that's why we were so angry, bro.

[36:30]  We just let it sit in.

[36:30]  And now, like you mentioned, just let it flow, man. All those feelings that you may feel, they all just release your body. Keep moving on.

[36:30]  And by no means am I this overly sensitive man walking around like it's the 70s and flower power. That's not me.

[36:30]  You know, I still like to think I am definitely a manly man. But I still go zero to 100.

[36:30]  Yeah. I real quick. You know I used to have this sign behind my desk. I took it down for this podcast because I didn't want your viewers to think bad of me.

[36:30]  But it says, "I may be laid back, but I can lean forward real quick."

[36:30]  Hey, come on.

[36:30]  So, I just want people to know like, you know, I am pretty chill. But, you know, I'm laid back, but I can lean forward real quick.

[36:30]  And that's what's so cool about life, man, is that we didn't change who we are. We just understood that we had to become a better version of us.

[36:30]  That's it. At the same time. So yeah, man. Listen, I appreciate this, man.

[36:30]  Listen, I appreciate this conversation. Dave, where can people find more information about you, the organization? Are you on LinkedIn? What is the URL, social medias, all that good stuff?

[36:30]  I am definitely on LinkedIn. David Cooper is my name. I am not big on social media. I'm old. When you was talking about getting a cell phone as a kid, I'm smiling because for me it was a pager.

[36:30]  I wanted a pager. And they were like, "Only drug dealers have pagers." I'm like, "So I still want one."

[36:30]  I remember my mom said, "You want me to page you every now and then?" She was trying to crack a joke on me. And I was like, "No, would you please?"

[36:30]  So, I'm old, so I'm on Facebook. And I'm active on Facebook. You know, sometimes I'm a little too active. Sometimes people are like, "Man, stop chasing that argument."

[36:30]  I love it. But, you know, I'm here at Central Community House. You can find me here. I'm not hard to find. This is my community.

[36:30]  I am an area commissioner at large here on the near east side of Columbus. And anybody that also shares the same vision of it's about the people and working with the people, you know, you come here.

[36:30]  We are in some definitely rough times. A lot of budgets are being cut, you know, in Central Community House. We're not immune from those same cuts.

[36:30]  So, anybody want to donate and they want to come here to Central Community House, we right here, and you'll know that it's just about the people, and it's not just talk.

[36:30]  And I can promise you any agency that I associate with will be about the people or else I won't be attached to it.

[36:30]  David, I appreciate the time, man. Appreciate the conversation. Until next time, make sure you guys follow, subscribe, and comment for more great conversations with leaders like David.

[36:30]  Yo, your legacy, man. Believe me, people are going to be talking about this decades after you're gone. We appreciate you, bro.