Why Supporting Kids During Critical Hours Can Change Their Entire Future

About This Episode

In this episode, we sit down with Sue Gabriel, director of the Boys and Girls Club of Greater Salem, to explore the profound impact that youth programs can have on children's futures. Sue shares insights into how providing a safe and engaging environment for kids goes beyond just after-school activities. It lays the groundwork for resilience, leadership, and personal growth.

We discuss the critical role that mission-driven organizations play in shaping the next generation. From fostering trust and belonging to adapting quickly in challenging times, Sue highlights the essential strategies that can help nonprofits better serve their communities. This conversation is a reminder of the importance of nurturing our youth and the lasting effects that supportive environments can create.

[0:00] The origins of the Boys and Girls Club and its long-standing mission

[1:21] How the Boys and Girls Club started and evolved over the years

[2:43] Comparing the histories of Boys and Girls Club and YMCA

[3:12] Difference between Boys and Girls Club and YMCA from a mission perspective

[4:01] The early focus of YMCA on housing and community support

[5:20] Insights into founding dates and early missions of these organizations

[6:10] The importance of these organizations today amid persistent societal needs

[7:16] How many kids are served weekly and what programs look like in Salem

[8:32] The impact of longstanding nonprofit leadership on community support

[9:03] Lessons from successive nonprofit leadership and managing community needs

[10:30] How social services and youth programs intersect

[11:00] Addressing food insecurity alongside economic challenges

[12:08] The real-stakes of keeping kids safe and engaged after school

[13:40] Building a culture of trust, belonging, and behavior management

[14:39] Supporting youth emotional health through staff engagement

[16:22] Developing leadership skills and fostering resilience among youth

[17:10] The importance of preparing youth for a rapidly changing future

[18:22] Bridging opportunity gaps for youth not pursuing college

[19:37] Cultivating resilience through culturally connected mentorship

[20:18] The significance of empathy, trust, and normalization in youth development

[21:59] Innovative ways staff support vulnerable kids emotionally and behaviorally

[22:50] The power of respectful, empathetic communication with youth

[23:20] Creating safe spaces where kids feel seen and supported

[24:10] The role of staff in fostering trusting relationships that encourage risk-taking

[26:30] Strategies for nonprofit leaders to sustain themselves emotionally and physically

[27:20] The importance of touching the mission regularly to stay inspired

[29:39] How to protect core organization values amid funding cuts

[30:55] Diversifying and innovating revenue streams to stay resilient

[32:13] The importance of pivoting in response to societal shocks like COVID

[33:29] Encouraging young people into nonprofit careers and unexpected opportunities

[34:21] Words of encouragement for overworked nonprofit leaders

[36:21] The exciting opportunities presented by AI and emerging technologies

[37:03] Connecting with Sue and learning more about the Boys and Girls Club

[38:14] The community’s role in nurturing future generations; the ongoing legacy

Episode Transcript

[0:16] Welcome back to another episode here on the Heart and Hustle podcast with Sue from the Boys and Girls Club. How are you doing today, ma'am?

[0:23] Doing great. How are you doing?

[0:24] Oh, wonderful. We're not in any Boys and Girls Club today virtually. We are in which Boys and Girls Club?

[0:26] We are the Boys and Girls Club of Greater Salem, Massachusetts.

[0:35] Love it. Do you know how many Boys and Girls Clubs are even in the United States? Do you have that number?

[0:40] There's thousands, but we are the second oldest in the nation. Yes, Hartford, Connecticut was the first place. There were some women who were seeing the fact that there were a lot of young boys that really didn't have any great place to be, particularly after school.

[0:42] And in those days, school wasn't mandatory, so sometimes it was all day. They really were trying to find a spot for these young boys and men to get off the streets. So they created this place for them to go, a clubhouse.

[1:29] And so, you know, they would go in and play games. I've seen some of the old board games. They're kind of neat. They would do some of the sports that were around in those days with balls and things like that and just get that energy out.

[1:29] My assumption is that they must have known somebody up in the Salem, Massachusetts area and said, "This is working. It's a great idea." So we were formed in 1869 as I think like the fraternity for young men or it was a fraternity and then finally in the 1980s, the girls got accepted into the club and that became the new name and moniker and logo.

[2:16] Yeah, so we've been around for a really, really long time.

[2:16] Wow. I did not know that the Boys and Girls Club, first of all, the origin of the story, how it got started. I don't think I ever knew, but just to know that it's been around for that long as well. Holy crap.

[2:27] Yeah, it really became big across the country kind of in the 1980s. There was some funding that came in through the federal government. And so, a lot of clubs were formed in like the 80s. But here on the East Coast, you have some really, really old clubs.

[2:44] Wow. And you may not know this, but I always think of Boys and Girls Club, YMCA, right? Two huge pillars in our communities. Did YMCA and Boys and Girls Club start around the same time or was it Boys and Girls Club and then YMCA or do you not know?

[2:59] I don't know the answer to that question. You know, I only know today's configuration of the Y and they do great work as well. Yeah, I don't know. Sorry. It's a great question.

[3:10] But I was wondering. I didn't know. We could probably Google it.

[3:13] I know we could probably Google it. I was only asking because people always kind of you think Boys and Girls Club, some people automatically think YMCA or you say YMCA, people think Boys and Girls Club. What is the difference between the two?

[3:27] I would say that probably the primary difference is going back to the origins, right? The Boys and Girls Club was specifically designed to address the kids that needed a place to go. Whereas the Y, my understanding is the Y was similar, right? But it was older.

[3:30] It was young men. So that even in the name, it's the Young Men's Christian Association, I think is what the YMCA stands for. So I believe, and again you can't hold me to this, but I think over the years what I understand about the YMCA is the origins for that organization was really around those older teen and young adult men who were trying to figure out where to stay if they were going into a new community to work or just kind of addressing those young men that didn't have a place to stay.

[4:17] So it was actually, I think, kind of housing and shelter initially and then of course over the years, I think the services of the Y expanded and of course now a lot of people think of the YMCA as a gym and swim, right? It's where you go to learn how to take swimming lessons, you know, you go work out there.

[5:03] But the Y does some really amazing things in addition to that. I know at least in our area they're interested in affordable housing and they have some projects around that and they are also in the kid care space. So depending on the Y, you might find an afterschool program or daycare.

[5:12] But you know, I think a lot of people think of them as gym and swim.

[5:15] So I did our research while you were there. I was looking it up.

[5:18] Okay, let's get the stats to those that are watching. So it looks like the YMCA was actually founded first on June 6 of 1844.

[5:28] How crazy. But it started in London, England by George Williams.

[5:32] Yeah. So how crazy. A 22-year-old draper who created a supportive community and, as you mentioned, a spiritual alternative to life on the streets for young men during the industrial revolution is why it started.

[5:44] The purpose was to improve the spiritual condition of young men initially through Bible studies and prayer. The expansion then got into America in Boston, which was actually the first branch back in 1851.

[6:08] All right. Going back to the Boys and Girls Club.

[6:10] Yeah, it was founded in 1860. So years a little after but in the US.

[6:16] Yep. In Hartford, Connecticut by Mary Goodwin, Alice Goodwin, Elizabeth Hammersley, and Louisa Bushnell.

[6:23] Did I say that correct?

[6:24] Yes.

[6:26] Right. To provide a positive alternative for boys roaming the streets. The first national organization was formed in 1906. The name changed to the Boys and Girls Clubs of America in 1990.

[6:39] I was born in 1990. Right when I was born.

[6:41] Well, there we go. The first Dashaway Club was established in Hartford in 1860. But yeah, just cool to see this.

[6:51] In 1956, I think what you mentioned, received a US Congressional Charter.

[6:52] Yes.

[6:54] In 1831, the organization became known as the Boys Clubs of America. I'm getting a history lesson here today.

[6:58] There we go.

[7:00] Right. Well, you know, when you think of it, so many of the big well-known nonprofits, we have been around for a while, and it's interesting to think that a similar need exists in society still to this day, right? You know, that youth needs our support and our attention.

[7:24] Um, that hasn't changed. How many kids are you guys seeing on a weekly basis for those that may not even be experiencing a Boys and Girls Club that don't even know what's going on inside of it?

[7:32] Yeah. So, Boys and Girls Clubs are different sizes all over the country. Um, so our community, we have about 43,000 people who live in Salem, Massachusetts. We primarily serve Salem kids, but not exclusively.

[7:34] We call it Greater Salem because there are some communities around us that we also pull some kids in from there. So we have anywhere from 350 to 400 kids registered during the year.

[8:22] Every day we have a youth drop-in program that sees 65 to 70 kids every day. And then we have two licensed programs. One's licensed for 39 kids, the other one's 26 kids.

[8:22] And we don't see that many every day, but you know that's another 50 kids that we're seeing every day. And then we have our teens, and that fluctuates, but we can see 20 to 25 most days with our teens.

[8:43] And then during the summer, we run a robust summer camp. It's somewhere around 70 that we have most days during our summer season.

[8:43] So, a lot of kids. A lot of kids.

[8:43] Yeah.

[8:43] And what how long you spend? I think you said 17 years as the executive director of the social service.

[9:12] I actually had just had my one-year anniversary last week with the Boys and Girls Club of Greater Salem. Um, I ran another social service agency for about 17 years in a community that's right next to Salem.

[9:12] So I've been in nonprofit for my whole career just about. I had a couple jobs early on that were in the for-profit space.

[9:14] Do you think your other job of 17 years prepared you for this moment of taking over the Boys and Girls Club?

[9:18] For sure. Um, because it's a similar role.

[9:20] A lot of the how to lead a nonprofit, work with a board, manage a staff, really listen to the community, because if you're running a nonprofit, it's not anybody's, it's the community's organization.

[9:20] So really listening to the community, what does the community need? What are the gaps that we might want to fill?

[10:05] Um, you know, really listening particularly to those who to whom we serve, the kids and their families.

[10:18] I would love to know a little bit more about your social service world as well. I only ask because I remember that I was adopted and my mom always talks about social services and how they were involved until they weren't.

[10:46] I can imagine that there was a life there as well that was probably a lot of ups and downs. What did that life look like as you're working with some of these kids in social services?

[10:46] What does even world entail for those that may even think about something like that?

[10:48] Yeah. So I think you're thinking about government social services. This was a private nonprofit.

[10:48] So, we actually helped people get connected with those kinds of services. We had a case management team that made sure that if we had a family come in and they had some needs and we knew there were some federal programs or some local state or local programs that they could connect with, that's what we wanted to do.

[11:33] We wanted to surround that family with as much as we possibly could right from the get-go because we know, you know, you've got to look at a family very holistically and get them as many services as possible.

[11:33] And that's how perhaps you can get a family to be in a different place down the line.

[11:33] The organization that I worked for, we were a food pantry. Food insecurity was a big piece of what we did, but we understood early on that that's a symptom of economic insecurity.

[12:19] And so it was, you know, how do you get as much around this family? Is there a potential for better employment, more employment?

[12:23] Um, you know, what are the ways that you can help this family do something different if possible?

[12:23] And sometimes, you know, if we had somebody who was 79, all we could do was give them food every week because that was where they were.

[12:23] Um, but you know, if you have somebody who comes in and they're in their 30s and they just need a different skill set, then you can maybe help them figure out a different path forward.

[12:25] That's so cool. And now you're in this organization. You mentioned that it is a smaller organization, but the stakes still feel much bigger.

[12:25] Like how does three hours of a safe place after school actually redirect a child's trajectory?

[12:38] Um, like what does that look like in real life?

[12:40] Yeah, it's interesting. You know, feeding people is super duper important, right?

[12:43] But if you have to close for a day, you can sort of figure out how to get that food to them at a different point.

[12:47] But taking care of kids, having families rely on you to make sure that child is safe, cared for, and supported.

[13:33] That's a, to me, the stakes are a little different.

[13:33] Um, you know, first of all, that safety piece is absolutely a number one for us.

[13:33] Um, I've been very impressed in learning about the Boys and Girls Club nationally that that is the number one priority for all the clubs across the country is making sure that all the policies, procedures, that safety of the kids comes absolutely first.

[13:33] Um, and that's, you know, it's easy to say that, but all the elements that you have to have in place to make sure that that's happening, they're complex.

[14:20] You got to make sure your staff is really well trained. You have to look at your facilities for any safety issues.

[14:20] Um, you know, that's definitely an area that takes a lot of attention and a lot of time.

[14:20] Uh, so that's a little different.

[14:20] Um, you know, you want to make sure you're keeping track of all those kids. You know, we do a lot of field trips.

[14:20] You got to make sure that headcount is, you know, we've got everybody.

[14:20] Um, we go to the water in the summer. We're right on the east coast, so we love to go to the beaches and things like that.

[14:20] Got to keep a really good eye on those kids and make sure that everybody is safe and that water safety is a piece.

[14:20] We bring lifeguards with us and so you know there's a lot involved in that.

[14:20] And then the next piece of it is how do you then make sure those kids really feel like they belong and that they are seen and appreciated for who they are.

[15:08] Um, that is our staff and we have a really terrific staff who many of them are former club kids.

[15:08] They've come up through the Boys and Girls Club and they understand the value of it and they are now at a point where they want to give back and it's really awesome to see.

[15:08] All the staff, they really are dedicated to making those kids feel like they're important for the three hours that they're with us.

[15:08] And you know, then the next piece of our program is to invest in them.

[15:08] So that looks like helping them with their homework to make sure that academically they are getting all the same opportunities as any of their peers.

[15:08] We have technology available that we talk to them about how using it carefully is important and that they have access to it because again their peers are going home and hopping on a laptop and we want to make sure that the kids that we're working with have every same advantage.

[15:54] Uh, and then just how do you get some of that energy out during the day? I mean, our 8 to 10-year-olds, especially our boys, but you know, all our kids, they've got to get that energy out.

[15:54] So, taking them to the gym and letting them just play in the gym for a while or getting them outside when the weather's great.

[15:54] Um, or we have dance club or, you know, whatever that is.

[15:54] And then how about the other things that are maybe the little spark?

[15:54] So we have art club, we have cooking club, we have again these opportunities to get out into the community in museums and just, you know, some of the fun places that the kids go, the bouncy parks and those kinds of things.

[16:40] In the summer, we take them to some of the big parks so that they can go on the water slide or you know whatever that experience is.

[16:40] We want them to know there's a big world out there and there are so many things that they could think about.

[16:40] In our teen center, we're starting to introduce them to leadership.

[16:40] We have a great curriculum through the national organization that really encourages these kids to think about being a leader and what are those qualities and skills that you need to be a leader because we want to see our kids doing these great things in their future.

[17:25] There's a new slogan that the national has put forth: America needs club kids. And my gosh, we do, right?

[17:25] Because these are the kids that are going to be the nurses, the teachers, the engineers, who knows what job that we don't even know about yet.

[17:45] These are the kids that are going to be our future, right? I want to invest in them because pretty soon, they're going to be in charge, right? We need them.

[17:45] We need them.

[17:45] We need them. And we need them to be ready to take on this world that is changing.

[17:50] Uh, we need them to have that critical thinking and that belief in themselves that they can take on these challenges.

[17:56] I like to say fertilizing the future is what you guys have been doing.

[18:00] I love that.

[18:00] All right. Yeah. I heard that.

[18:02] I took it from another leader.

[18:02] Um, but it's what we are doing right when we talk about what we do at the level of the Boys and Girls Club as leaders, you know, me and you, we are fertilizing the future.

[18:15] We are setting them up for what's ahead.

[18:17] You know what? Another thing, and I don't know what you think about this, but it has to do with the resources and just the impact that is really being made by organizations like the Boys and Girls Club.

[18:28] I just realized speaking to higher ed, like there is the gap between leaving high school and going to college, right?

[18:28] Because not everyone's going to go to school, but I realize that school is very structured, right?

[18:28] Like that structure of what school is and the resources and the people that are there rooting for you and keeping you aligned.

[19:02] But what happens to those kids that don't go to college, right, and don't have an organization like the Boys and Girls Club? A lot of times they probably feel left behind.

[19:02] They don't feel seen, heard, and they stay within that 11th or 12th grade level mentally, right?

[19:02] And I've seen a lot of friends and family stay there.

[19:02] But just to know that there's organizations, and I think people underestimate what the Boys and Girls Club or what a YMCA, what a lot of these organizations really do.

[19:02] It is the fertilization of our future kids. It is giving them experiences of seeing things that they didn't even know were in their own backyards.

[19:02] Um, setting them up with leadership skills.

[19:02] Like I was working with someone that is 24 years old and you probably experienced it sometimes, but he's 24 years old. He's an educator.

[19:22] Um, and now he's working on his doctorate degree and I was like, man, 24 years old and you're already thinking this way.

[19:22] Like wow, you had a really good foundation.

[19:22] Boys and Girls Club are that foundation for a lot of our youth that may not have the ability to have mentors in their own home.

[19:44] Right. Exactly.

[19:46] People that may not look like them or sound like them. They get to see that at the Boys and Girls Club because of how diverse it is.

[19:55] You know, as you mentioned Salem, but we're also covering all these other places.

[19:55] Um, how cool.

[19:58] But it's also a lot of resilience.

[19:58] And resilience to me is a word that gets thrown around a lot. But what does it actually mean to you?

[20:08] Not as a concept, but as something that you've lived and now trying to build for others.

[20:10] Yeah. I think I actually think that's the most important quality that we can give to any of our youth.

[20:10] Um, and what does it look like? I think it starts with empathy to those youth that we are working with now.

[20:10] Uh, we actually pride ourselves that so much of our staff come from the same communities that our kids do.

[20:10] Um, and we actually in Salem do have a high percentage of kids that have immigrated to America.

[20:10] And so having someone on our staff who might have had a similar experience, you know, a number of years ago when they came for the first time, I think that's really huge, right?

[20:56] Because I've had some experiences that I had to figure out resiliency in my world, but they were different experiences than those that some of the kids in our program are experiencing.

[21:42] And so having that empathy is best when there's a connection culturally that you've got a similar culture.

[21:42] You know, you kind of know religion plays a really big part in your home life or, you know, soccer is going to be watched on the weekends, not American football.

[21:42] Just any of those ways that people connect very authentically, I think that's the beginning of helping kids through some tough times that they can feel like they can really trust that person.

[21:42] They can talk to them. They can, they don't have to explain everything right off.

[21:42] They don't have to explain all that backstory. That person already just understands how that situation fits into the culture.

[21:42] I think that's huge.

[21:42] And then again, our staff, they're just so good at seeing the kids and recognizing that there are times when that child might need more support than others, just like all of us.

[22:20] And sort of normalizing the fact that you can ask for help, you can ask for support and that it's okay to have a bad day.

[22:20] And I came around the corner one day and I was listening to one of our staff and he's 19, so he's a young guy, but he was on his knee in front of a 10-year-old boy and he was saying to him, "You know what? It's okay to have a bad day. We all have bad days.

[22:20] But how you behave when you're having a bad day is what counts."

[22:20] And so, no, you can't throw your whatever at somebody else on the bus.

[22:20] You know, there had been a situation.

[22:20] Um, but I loved the way that that explanation came and again it came from a young person to another young person.

[23:08] So the respect was there.

[23:08] The 10-year-old was not feeling chastised. He was feeling seen and empathized with first and then, but here's the boundary.

[23:08] Here's the behavioral expectations that we have.

[23:08] So that's huge, right? Because if you need to be corrected, if you're seen first, you're validated that your feelings are fine and justified.

[23:08] Um, and that everybody has a bad day, but you got to work on the behavior.

[23:08] That's a whole different thing than being approached in a different way.

[23:08] And it's really effective. I just watch these kids and they respond to our staff really well.

[23:08] And I think sometimes they might even choose to come to our staff over somebody at home just because it's a different environment and there's different stakes right at home.

[24:33] The love of your parent or whoever's at home feels so incredibly critical to your well-being, right?

[24:33] The approval, the whatever, right? Whereas at the club, that relationship is just a little different.

[24:33] It's not quite as important in your life.

[24:33] So maybe you dare to take a risk with that person where you might not take the risk at home.

[24:33] Um, anyway, it's really amazing to watch these interactions with staff who are young but so mature.

[24:42] Um, probably because they have resilience, right? And that connection with the kids.

[24:52] It's the cycle.

[24:54] Yeah. I feel grateful to get to witness it because I can imagine, right? That's what fills the cup, you know, when you get to see those moments.

[24:56] But I mean, one of the things you mentioned too is just that 19-year-old kneeling down and getting to their level, right?

[24:56] And just spending that time to even do that.

[25:43] Like those things make a difference.

[25:43] While we don't think so and we don't think that deep into it, I think it is those.

[25:43] I mean, there were educators in my life when I went to school that I still remember the things that they said to me and the time that they took me aside instead of just calling me out in front of people, you know, where now I started to shut down or I started to act up, whatever.

[25:43] Like there's one or two ways to that.

[25:43] Um, so yeah, I love to see that 19-year-old took the time to kneel down and have that conversation say, "Hey, it's okay because it is true."

[25:43] I tell my daughter that's 5 years old, it's okay to have a bad day, but the tantrum that you're throwing is unacceptable.

[25:45] Right.

[25:45] Yeah. We got to let them know that it's okay to do this, but there's other ways to let somebody know that you're not feeling that way versus just the retaliation of it.

[25:45] Um, so that's cool. I love it.

[25:45] I love that you guys create that safe space as well, and that's why kids continue to go.

[25:45] They feel safe there. They feel that there's people that are listening to them.

[26:12] I was one that I was at home. I didn't have conversations with my mother, right?

[26:12] But I go have so many conversations with teachers at school or with other kids.

[26:12] And it's just kind of the environment that was at home, but just like having those three or four hours where you feel like there's an adult in the room, that goes a long way because you're going to remember that adult and how they poured into you.

[26:28] It's very tough and I can imagine that you sometimes have this mental and emotional load doing the work that you do.

[26:47] How do you sustain yourself when the stakes are high every single day?

[26:50] I would say I feel like my staff actually carry it more than I do and I watch out for them because I realize they are carrying a lot.

[27:35] I get to carry the more business side of it, right? Do we have enough money to pay payroll?

[27:35] Do we have, you know, facilities that are making sense for everybody?

[27:35] Um, you know, so I carry that kind of a load and I'm sort of used to it.

[27:35] I've been a leader for a long time.

[27:35] So, um, but some of the things that I've learned for me and everyone is different.

[27:35] One is I get up from my desk and I go and I do get into the spaces where the kids are at least once a week.

[27:35] I really try to do that because I need to remember what is the mission?

[27:35] Why am I calling donors and chatting with them?

[27:35] Why am I filling out grant applications?

[27:35] Making sure we have a budget that we're ready for the next board meeting.

[27:35] I need to remember why all of that work is important.

[27:35] I have to go touch the mission.

[27:59] Um, and then I also need time off.

[28:03] I just need to recharge.

[28:03] Sometimes I can go really, really hard for a while, but I know over the years I've learned to build in the time to take a deep breath and do something else and recharge because that is really important.

[28:25] If we're not good, then the rest of the place isn't good.

[28:25] Um, that is so true.

[28:25] And then having colleagues to chat with, you know, figuring out what your support system is as a leader because as the executive director or CEO, whatever the title is of a nonprofit, it's a weird job.

[28:25] Um, because you work for a board of directors and then you manage a staff and you can't really bring everything to either one.

[28:25] You're in the middle.

[29:13] And so having colleagues that also might have experienced a challenge similar to yours in the Boys and Girls Club, we're really lucky.

[29:13] We actually are assigned somebody through the national organization that does some support, too.

[29:13] And that's amazing.

[29:13] Having not had that for 17 years, it's really great to have it.

[29:37] I love that.

[29:40] I love that.

[29

guest

Sue Gabriel — Director, Boys and Girls Club of Greater Salem

Non-Profit

Sue Gabriel is the Director of the Boys and Girls Club of Greater Salem, an organization dedicated to providing a safe and engaging environment for young people. The Boys and Girls Club focuses on fostering resilience, leadership, and lifelong success among children, particularly those from underserved communities. With a background in nonprofit management and youth development, Sue has spent years working to enhance the impact of youth programs. In this episode, she discusses the importance of creating a culture of safety and belonging, strategies for securing sustainable funding, and the role of culturally connected staff in building empathy and resilience. Sue also shares insights on how organizations can adapt to challenges while maintaining their mission focus and the critical need for leadership skills in closing opportunity gaps for youth.

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