Fighting for Our Parents: Frances Reeves on Fixing Elder Care with Grit and Strategy

[0:00]  1 through 30, you're just getting there. You know what I'm saying? And then 30 through 60 or 65, those are your really productive years. Yeah, baby. You know, you're cutting it. You're trying to make it. You're finding yourself out. You know, oh, that's when they all hire you, Ephine. You know, how can I build this better? How can I? And and then after 65, it's like, okay, when do I retire?

[0:29]  Will I retire? Not everybody retires. I have no I mean I'll retire only if I have to. I know several people in their 90s who still go to the office all day and add value. Wow. I mean and some are, you know, like an electrician or a plumber. I mean, just because you're 90 doesn't mean you can't, you know, or at a minimum go in there and see what the problem is and the best way to fix it because of all that wisdom and experience that you do have and and just, you know, I mean, there's no reason to ever retire unless that's what you want to do. I I don't want this to sound negative at all, but the only way to die is by living your best life ever.

[1:32]  You know, they say life is like a roller coasters. Ups, downs, unexpected turns. But what happens when you've thrown into a ride you've never signed up for? Right. My guest today, Francis Reeves, turned a personal crisis into a mission to change the elder care system for good. Francis, welcome to the show. How are you doing today, madam? I am doing very well, thank you. Funny, you should call me a madam. Yes, disrespect you.

[1:58]  That's that southern in me. It is madam. Let's start with this. You've been in law, you've been in politics, and now you're in elder care. Did you ever imagine that this would actually be the journey, the path that would lead you on in in this life that you live today and motivate me to write my book? I And an author. How can I forget? And an author.

[2:19]  Yes. Boomers Booming. How to thrive after 65 and have good sex. Um I'll tell you what, you don't look age past 65. You know, a year past 65, I mean. Well, thank you. I just wrote an article yesterday discussing how introspective I had to become to turn 70 and accept it and internalize it. So I am I am now out with my age.

[2:47]  Come on. You're looking too good. What are you drinking? What kind of water are you drinking? I need to look at like this when I'm 70 years old. Yeah, it's mom and dad. You know, it's all jeans, believe it or not. I mean, I haven't, you know, I I haven't gained and lost and gained and lost weight, so that helps a little bit with the face, but I assure you that there are parts of the body that are falling.

[3:10]  You're too funny. I'll ask you, man. You founded parent your parents after seeing really your own parents go through a broken system. That's right. Can you take us back to that moment? What was that breaking point that made you say, you know what, I need to do something about this. This can't no longer be happening. The breaking point was when a major insurance company, not somebody you've never heard of, but a major uh insurance company out of isn't it Delaware where they all are, um miscounted my mother's days on her long-term care policy, which meant they quit paying and here I mean and it was a lot of money a month. So, uh, and my brother and I didn't quite have it. So,

[4:00]  um, what I did was I actually went and counted. She had either a two or threeear policy. So, I counted all the days, realized they had miscounted. Then I joined Premium LinkedIn because, you know, getting into these big insurance companies is not easy. I joined premium LinkedIn and anyone who had a title of senior VP and above, I drafted a letter about what had happened to my mom. And within 24 hours, I had a phone call and within a week I had $15,000, which means I didn't ask for enough because they took the first number I threw out there. And the guy

[4:49]  who with whom I was dealing says to me, "Miss Reeves, this never happens." Which meant, "M Reeves, we never get caught." Because if you're an older person on long-term care, what you're going to count all those number, you're going to count all those invoices and put it all together. And that was when Parent Your Parents was founded in my mind. Now, of course, I didn't I just knew I had to do something. I hadn't quite put it all together. That took, you know, a couple more months, but nevertheless, that was it. That was the moment. I'd had it with the way my parents were treated. I had had it. And um I want to I want to

[5:39]  before you we move forward, did you say you went on LinkedIn and you went on LinkedIn Premium and you just started? into premium LinkedIn just so that I could find out who those people were. What what made you think to go into LinkedIn Premium? Because otherwise you're you're calling no one's no one's answering. No, I'm so sorry. you you're not going to get to the CEO to the now I will say you there the CEO like for instance in American Express you can write the CEO and he has an office of people at American Express that'll forgive you if like you've missed a payment and won't hold it against you but only one so so there probably is something like that at this insurance

[6:26]  company but why take a chance. Yeah. I mean, I'm telling you, 10 people got that letter. I love it. I love how you how you I mean, of course, right, this is your loved one. You're going to do anything possible. You're going to think of all the most creative ways that you can get to the top of the food chain. Exactly. I don't want to talk to the person that keeps me there's nothing you can do. I'm sorry. Uh, no, no. I want to talk to the person in charge. I love it. And I was I was used to dealing with CEOs. In other words, when I lived in Baltimore, my husband who owned his own company, I mean, he called himself president, but basically he was the CEO of a small company. So, I was, you know, I was used to dealing with those people, but not in this case. I didn't I didn't know who

[7:14]  this guy was. And, you know, it's not like I could use my husband's name to get to him. and and because I'd been in politics in Maryland, you know, I could call a lawmaker and have them call a CEO, but I wasn't in Maryland anymore. And so, yeah, you know, so many people would say that um they talk about finding their purpose. Do you feel like this was that purpose, the work that you're doing today? Is this the purpose that you you live for? It is. It is the purpose. And um I'm I'm not even sorry that I didn't get into it earlier because the truth of the matter is I didn't have the experiences I've had now. I mean besides

[8:04]  mom getting dementia and me having to deal with dad. Besides that, then my husband also got dementia that became Alzheimer's and I've been through having to be a caretaker and putting him into a home. So, I mean, it's all for a purpose. And I am here to tell you that even though like when my husband whose name is Tom, even when I put Tom into first rehab and then uh on in, I mean so many mistakes were made. And at first I was furious. I'm like, "Wait a second." But now, now you know what I do?

[8:53]  I take them cookies. I say thank you. Um, when someone screws up, I just say, "Look, we're all human." Because the bottom line is, if I'm not nice to them, they're not going to be nice to my husband. That's actually one of the questions I was going to ask you next. You said something powerful in our last chat that we had. Um, even the best elder care places are just okay. Exactly. Is this is this why? What are they really missing? I mean, I'm guessing some of the things you just said, but what are they truly missing?

[9:27]  Well, the way I see it is they're missing a process. For instance, my husband went from u uh rehab into um nurse, skilled nursing. And because he was wandering, they put him in a locked floor. All of which, I mean, all of that is fine, but A, they forgot to call me. B, they forgot his clothes. C, they forgot his charger. D, they forgot his nail clippers. You know what I'm saying?

[10:07]  Yeah. It's like, wow. And they moved him like pretty late at night. Like, I mean, for rehab, like 6:30 or 7, so it wouldn't have mattered. I would have been out to dinner anyway. But I mean, if they had called it four, I could have made other plans and been there to help move. Um, but but you know, at the end of the day, the the head of social work called me up and said how sorry he was that, you know, it was definitely they had definitely done it wrong and he was having a meeting and they were going to talk about it, etc., etc. And I said, 'Well, when you have a meeting with them, please tell them that if I raise my voice at them, it's just out of the stress and frustration that I felt being

[10:56]  a little bit out of control. And I do that because I want him to always be able to call me and know I'm not going to yell and scream at him, you know. And you're right. You're right. You don't want once you someone thinks you're this angry upset person or that that's who you are. Let me tell you what stands for because I can be a glass eating from hell. Do not think I can't. But stands for babe in total control of herself. Oh, come on now. Yeah. So if I'm representing someone other than a family member, you watch me go in there. You watch me. And listen, in one particular case, compliance, which is a nice word for

[11:45]  lawyers, compliance screwed up big time. Now, because of all the clients I have in this place, I could have gone to the CEO and said, "You guys really screwed up and I can sue." But instead, I called general counsel and offered to teach the class because they hadn't done what the statute said. Wow, you're topnotch. I love the way that you said, "Listen, something got to give and I'm going to figure out how the hell I'm going to do it." First, you're at LinkedIn. All right, you're figuring out that. Then you said, "Hey, I'll just come teach a class myself. Clearly, you guys need someone to teach this." I know. And she said, "No, no, we'll do it." I'm like, "Okay, we'll see.

[12:31]  You are too funny. I'm happy that I'm on your good side. I do not want to see this other side of you, Francis. Yes, you do. If you need me. Listen, I um I definitely you're on sweet dot for those reasons. When when it comes to how caregivers are paid and treated, do you feel that maybe that's what affects the quality? And what could really be done in this case if if it is?

[12:53]  Well, you know, the whole caregiving, the most a caregiver makes for the most part, if you're working for like um an agency, the most you're going to be making is $20 an hour. If you're working directly for the person, um, the most you're going to be making is$25 to $30 an hour, depending on what you can what you can negotiate. The people that I have that are independent, not with a care, not within a um, a home health care agency, they usually make around $25 an hour. and I hire them.

[13:38]  Like for instance, I've hired a woman that I've known for five years. I met her when she was caregiving someone else and she just has a knack for it. And um so she's paid $25 an hour. Uh and um she works like three day in my case. She work she comes once a week to see my husband. She goes once a week to see another client of mine. you know what I or twice a month, another client of mine.

[14:10]  Um, but the women who work there at the location where my husband is, if they work $20, if they make $20 an hour, I'm I'm a little surprised. I I'm thinking they're more like 18 or 19. Um, a little a little above uh the wage because, you know, and there's a big difference. into someone who's just working there versus a certified nurse assistant ver versus a licensed what is it practical nurse versus a nurse versus uh a BS nurse. I mean, you know, the there's a hierarchy just in the nursing. So, but but you

[14:58]  know, they're the people who keep it going. and um I know the charge nurse or the head nurse on my husband's floor and um say thank you all the time. If the Heart and Hustle podcast has ever sparked any idea or made you think differently, do us a favor. Make sure to guys share this, post it on LinkedIn, or even text that nonprofit friend that you just have. Whatever works. This is what keeps the conversation going and allows us to just grow this community together. Seriously, we appreciate you.

[15:32]  Francis, I don't think that people really think about elder care until it's truly really happening to them or their family. What's something that you wish everyone really knew before they ever had to deal with this? I wish they figured out that they are also going to die. And unless you die young, you're going to be old. Period. I mean, Jean Hackman, even though it's a weird death at this point, was 95. His wife 60 I I've heard several 63, 64, 65, but it doesn't matter. She's younger than I am. She didn't wake up that day planning on dying.

[16:14]  I just wrote an article on how you have to understand even though I mean I don't want you to think oh yeah no I'm prepared to die. I'm not prepared to die but the only way I can die well is if I live life better. Which means that you have to get up and be grateful that you're in the journey right now. that really isn't going to happen. I mean, here's how I sort of see it. 1 through 30, you're just getting there. You know what I'm saying? And then 30 through 60 or 65, those are your really productive years. Yeah, baby. You know, you're cutting it. You're trying to make it. You're finding yourself out.

[17:03]  You know, oh, that's when they all hire you, Ephine. You know, how can I build this better? How can I? And and then after 65, it's like, okay, when do I retire? Will I retire? Not everybody retires. I have no I mean, I'll retire only if I have to. I know several people in their 90s who still go to the office all day and add value.

[17:30]  Wow. I mean, and some are, you know, like an electrician or a plumber. I mean, just because you're 90 doesn't mean you can't, you know, or at a minimum go in there and see what the problem is and the best way to fix it because of all that wisdom and experience that you do have and and just, you know, I mean, there's no reason to ever retire unless that's what you want to do. A friend of mine just retired, 68 years old, and he wants to write a book. I thought, well, I did that on Sundays while working, you know. So, but you know, everybody Yeah. Everybody has I mean, just because I want to do something doesn't mean everybody else wants to. True. And what

[18:18]  I have also learned, and this is what's really hard to learn when we're younger, it's not your timetable, it's their timetable. In other words, you you know that old saying, hurry up and wait. Yeah. I mean, there I was constantly, I gotta get there. I got to get there. Well, uh, no one else was ready. You know what I'm saying? So, and if you have kids, you also know that no matter how much you value those children and love them, that doesn't mean they value you. Not until I mean I'm the first one to say mom and dad were right, but not when they gave me advice. Not for the longest time. You know what I'm saying?

[19:06]  Yeah. It takes some time truly to to uh realize everything they said was actually right. I'm 35 years old and I got to go back to my mom and think like, man, if I would have just listened so many years ago, I would have been ahead of the game. But I didn't listen to my mom. So, no, 100% agree with what you're saying there. I know. Well, and then you also my mom my mom and I had a fractious relationship and I'm just going to give you an example. I I was I had just graduated from Texas Christian University and mom and dad I mean it was like oh wow what was I going to do next other than we were going the whole family was going on uh this was mom and dad's thing. What do we call those vehicles that are also homes? Um RVs.

[19:49]  RVs. Yeah. We were doing a little RV across from Texas to Florida, which is not my thing, but it was mom and dad's thing. And I still remember standing in that RV and mom saying, "Well, what do you what do you think you'd want to do next?" And I said, "I don't, you know, I don't know. I I'm kind of thinking law school might be something I'd like to do." And this is what my mother said to me. Well, who would have you? Yeah. Yeah. Now look, so what do you have to do? You have to get over that, right? Which I did. And then I went to law school. And then, oh wait, then when I've announced I'm going to law school, I've been accepted, blah, blah, blah.

[20:35]  And mom and dad had said they couldn't pay, you know, they it was they were retired, so I mean, who cares, right? I already they'd paid for my undergrad. Mhm. So, mom comes and tells me, "I don't understand why you're going to law school." She goes, "You're not even married." I'm like, she goes, "And you're going to be 33 or I can't remember, 33, 32 or 33 when you graduate." I'm like, "Well, mom, with any luck, that's going to happen anyway." So, this way I'll have a degree. But, you know, she was she was that that in between generation because mom would have loved to have gone to law school. She was such a smart lady. She would have loved all of that, but she didn't have that opportunity.

[21:24]  So, it wasn't fair that I did. I mean, that was part of our fractious relationship. No, you know, and it is one of those, you know, what's crazy is actually, and I know we was completely off topic here, but when when you hear that as a young age, as you mentioned, you move forward with it. Not everyone can actually do that. People are still living with those same sayings that their parents repeated over and over.

[21:43]  Cuz I I will tell you when I remember I wanted to 18 years old, I left my mom's house. You know, I was adopted. I was already kind of feeling, you know, all these feelings. So I told myself 18, I'm gone. And I did. At 18, I was gone. And I remember wanting I was actually doing um modeling at the time. And I remember going and you know telling mom I'm modeling. How exciting is that, right?

[22:02]  And she says, "Oh, that's gay. You should do something else." And I thought to myself like, damn, I just ran a, you know, I did a runway show like and so I just wouldn't invite her. You know how many, you know, publications I did and all these things. I just wouldn't invite her. Later on in time, I've given her like this blown up picture and now she kind of loves it and she loves to show it off and things like that. But it it is, you know, people only know what they know and a lot of the times they think it's the impossible because they've never experienced someone to do that. It's like entrepreneurship, right? I'm probably one of the first entrepreneurs in my family. And I also had my mom come into the store that I just opened and say, "Hey, you know, your brother's job's hiring, right?" I'm like, "You just walked into my store. Like, I get it.

[22:41]  I'm not making money today." But like, you know, so I hear you on that. I definitely do hear you. But someone's listening right now, Francis, that they're listening because their parent or loved one is actually in a facility. What's that the first thing they should actually be paying attention to? They should just make sure that that person, for instance, I I go see my husband three times a week. I I try to see him three times a week and, you know, I'm I'm hoping that he'll find someone else in there that will want to take better care of him because I'm working 40 hours a week and so that takes two or three hours out of my day, you know.

[23:20]  So, but the reason I go and the reason I go and see all my clients over there is because someone's got to be watching to make sure. And and if you can't be there, you have to hire someone to go. Like, as I said, the caretaker lady that I use, it's going to be coming in once a week. No one ever knows when she's going to be coming in. And a couple times with one of my other clients, you know, uh we caught some money being stolen. We caught some clothes being stolen. And you know, that was taken care of. Mhm.

[23:59]  Because look, we always read about these horrible things like some guy who has sex with all these old ladies or whatever, you know? I mean, and you know, it's rape, etc., etc. I mean, but that is that's not what you really want to worry about. What you want to worry about is that your loved one doesn't have bed sores, that your loved one um is getting fed three times a week, that you know, and and honestly, they call me once a month on one of my clients and we have her care plan. She's in hospice.

[24:41]  Um, and she's lost so much weight, but all she does is lay in bed, you know? I And and she's always been since I met her six years ago. I was called in by another attorney because she was living in a house that was falling in around her and had run out of money. Oh my god. Yeah. So, we had to sell the house. Um we um she had two different caretakers.

[25:12]  One was quitting. So the other caretaker is a woman I still have. Um and so we moved her into uh the place she is now. And I had to pay for the first four months, which of course any attorney will tell you never do that. But there was no one else. I mean Yeah. I actually tell you a story now.

[25:36]  It was actually um local there was a commissioner and kind of similar like the the family just didn't want wasn't paying attention to the woman pretty much per se. Yeah. And um this commissioner stepped in and made sure she was good and always took care of her and you know her house and had someone clean it and all these different things.

[25:54]  And I I I don't know really the whole story, but I guess they started the family start to say she was using her money. So it's a whole court situation. They removed it from the commissioner's seat. She's going through all these legal things and she's like all I did was help someone that was not being helped. She was like 90 something years old. I I and you know the money that she was providing me this money you know to the point that the lady did have all times but for some apparent reason she just had was in court. She said something about that situation which was kind of got her out of the you know out of the the legal issue that she was. But just imagine she didn't recall that and she didn't make that statement, right?

[26:31]  Because in reality, what happens? Families get really hungry when they realize there's money involved. There's all this coming up, you know, now all the woodwork. Oh, I love this person. This is this is my favorite brother and sister, mom, or you know, like, but you haven't checked on them for years. You talk about the bed stores. Just imagine that someone's in a home for years and no one's checking up on them. But for so many other years, that person was always there. They were present. They were providing. So it's a very very tough space and you've been through a lot Francis your parents the struggles running a business and listen with mom I want you to know that that in the end I'm and I'm so happy about this but in the end I realized that at the very least this woman had given me life and if I wasn't grateful for that then shame

[27:19]  on me. So I became her biggest defender. She knew I would show up. She knew that when I showed up, people would pay attention. Um, and and it's not because I yelled and screamed. It's because I would point things out like, "Why is my mother's uh toenail an inch long and she's in tennis shoes? Is that some You know what I'm saying?" And so, um, and same with my father. He put himself in an assisted living facility.

[27:53]  And when I showed up, they all knew that room had better be clean. We were paying $6,000 a month, baby. Wow. I mean, think about it. The way that your parents took care of you as you were growing up, you were this child. They poured into you. They cared. They loved. You have to give the same. It was an honor. You know what I mean? It was an honor. Yeah. What do you're not who you are today with, you know, was it perfect? Probably not. But damn, they gave you life as you mentioned. Exactly. Look where you're at today. You know, they they didn't give up on you even when you weren't listening to them.

[28:26]  Even when you went to law school, Francis, in spite of them. Well, I I have a real cute story about mom and um what happened was I was visiting. This is when they still lived in Houston. And so she came in. and I was in my little bedroom and and so she came in and was uh just kibbitzing with me and and she had dementia and people with dementia sometimes forget they have to go to the bathroom like they they figure it out right before it goes and sometimes you know they don't get to the bathroom in time and so that's what happened and this was number two to say it nicely and she was mortified I mean you know this is she was mortified and that she'd done it in front of me and then dad, you know, came out and and he

[29:14]  started I said, "Oh, no, no, no. Dad, don't worry. I'll take care of it." Right? And mother was sitting there just I want Franny. She called me Franny. Franny, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I said, "Mom, how many times did you have to do this for me?" And she, you know, she she goes, "You are right." And then it was never an issue ever again. It was like, "Oh, I mean, she was so relaxed after that."

[29:39]  So, you know, it's true. Francis, we talk about hustle on this podcast so much. Obviously, the Heart and Hustle podcast is is allowing others to see the hustle that someone puts in and the heart they have for it, right? So, hustle also meets heartbreak. Mhm. How do you keep pushing forward when life just continues to throw you curveball? because now three different individuals you've had to kind of experience this well and while building a business and writing books and being Francis you know there's sometimes I don't know um I think I told you this last time uh when we had our pre-conference but you know my husband uh between the ages of 70 and 80 spent

[30:29]  the $3 million he had made from uh selling his business. I mean, he made more, but that that's sort of what was left. And we had a prenup. I was wife number two and still am wife number two, but nevertheless, so his money was his, mine was mine. You know what I'm saying? So, it wasn't like I could check in on him or anything like that. And and he was very very, you know, held it very close to his chest. So, um, and you know, dementia starts long before loved ones know it. And he quit paying his bills. I didn't even realize he'd quit paying his bills. I realized none of this. And besides the $3 million that I don't have as a second income

[31:18]  anymore, um, he left me $350,000 in debt. And I go back to some of my old articles and I think it's because I could write about it and be vulnerable. I mean, because it's Robert Frost who says the best way out is through. But what he doesn't say is how hard through is. M you know whether you're um what's that guy who's like Mr.

[31:58]  Basketball? Um you can tell I'm LeBron James. Yes. LeBron James, right? I mean, yes, he has a talent, but that boy has to he has to stay on top of it every day. And it can't be easy. That body is brutalized. It's a little like that quarterback um who played through to his 40s. You can see I'm a big sports fan, right? Because I I come listen I don't I don't watch basketball. I just knew LeBron James. So when it comes to I can't help you there, though.

[32:32]  So, so it's um I I want you to know I had my share of pity parties where I'd be out walking or running and cry and wonder how this happened to me. You know, that whole karma thing. What did I do to deserve this? Blah blah blah. But you know what? It doesn't really matter, does it? So, what if I answer those questions? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That one time I lied to my really good friend when I shouldn't have. I mean that's not why this happened to me. You know what I'm saying? So I am You just have to get up every morning because you have you can ball up sell the

[33:20]  house and find some place to live where you're not going to be happy for the rest of your life or overcome. I mean, Martin Luther King died for us overcoming. Yeah. So, the least I can do is show up every morning and and look, you know, it's still not done. I mean, I'm still, you know, hustling. I'm still worried. Am I going to make I mean, anybody, you're an entrepreneur. No entrepreneur I mean, I'm sure even Bill Gates worries. I don't think Elon Musk does.

[34:01]  I do think Bill Gates worries about um his kids and you know I mean I got a question. Let's let's talk about Elon Musk, right? We're in a place that Elon Musk is is very technology and um I mean even kind of robots, but we won't get too far into the robots that are supposedly dropping this year. Um but I do want to talk about AI. Are you and your organization looking around the corner at these emerging technologies like AI and how can potentially help your team execute on your mission? I mean, think about it. If I'd thought about it, could I have put my book through AI for a um uh editing instead of paying an editor $5,000? I mean, could could I

[34:50]  have done that? I don't know. Here's what I do know. I use AI a lot when I'm like uh writing a letter that I have to write or putting together a document for one of my trusts. But here's what I've noticed. They all sound like AI. So I have to interject Francis Reeves into those letters 100%. So, do I think AI it can I mean like everything it can be used for the good, it can be used for the bad. Um, but I don't think I'm replaceable just because someone else can write. I write pretty well. Yeah.

[35:32]  No, 100%. I think I like to look at that AI space as a um as a co-pilot. I know Microsoft owns it, but truly just where it helps you save time. I mean, email drafting. Um, I speak to nonprofit leaders and they're talking about how they use it for grant writing and I'm like, "Oh, wow. That's actually really good. Never thought about it." Um, but if you can have that AI expert agent be something your clients and community can actually access for uh good trusted information, is that something that you're you'll be comfortable with? No.

[36:03]  No. First of all, a trust for the most part is a pretty personal document. You'd be surprised, you know. I mean, I have one that if this happens and this has to happen, then if this happens, then this has to happen and then then if this happens, this has to happen because that's how the person wants it. I can't I can't tell AI to do it. They're just going to do a regular old trust that says, you know, if this happens and and it's now, can I give them the first draft and then take it from there? I sure can. But I already have that on software. You know what I'm saying? I just So, and if if like um the other day I was having a problem drafting a letter, I just I wasn't

[36:52]  putting it all together. So, I put it into a AI. And then the minute you're editing, you know, lawyers love to edit. So, the minute you're editing, it's like, "Oh, yeah. Oh, no. This is good. No, that's not how I really feel about it. So, so that's how I've been using AI. What's next for you? Another book?

[37:16]  Expanding your business? Well, like what's keep you excited about the future? I'm going to tell you what's next for me. And it's a lot harder to get there than I thought it was. Although I have it as a hashtag now. Mhm. I want to be the person that CNN calls when they have an elder care question. That's for me. I could see you on the CNN. I could see you on CNN, Francis.

[37:44]  And when I do see you on there, just don't forget the little people. I know honey, you're coming right on with Listen, when we start to wrap things up, how can people get involved? Whether they need help with other care, elder care, or they just want to support your mission, where where should they start? Well, they should start with my website, parentyourpears.com. And you can actually buy my book on the website. If you buy my book on the website versus, um, Amazon.com, I'll actually sign it for you. That's my little extra. But, um, it also tells you a lot of what you have to look for. You know, are your parents really like today this kid that I've known for 30 years called me. He's now in his 40s and he has to deal with mom and dad. And when I I remember him

[38:32]  when we all went to church together, I'm like, "Rob, oh my god, you have a 23-year-old son. How did that happen?" You know what I'm saying? But now here he is dealing with it. And because he's read my articles and seen the website and look, I'm a Florida lawyer and a Maryland lawyer. So, let's say if you're a Kentucky lawyer and or a Kentucky person, you're still allowed to send me an email or call the office. And you know, we can find you a Kentucky lawyer.

[39:03]  I mean, my I want to be that one-stop shop for elders. In other words, if you need care, here are some home health care places. If you need a social security card or you you need to do it because your parents don't know that are constantly losing their passwords to everything, you know, because social security says only you can start that.

[39:28]  You know what I'm saying? It's like only social how many 85 year olds are going to know how to get on here, you know? I mean, please. So, um, so, you know, don't let the fact that I'm in Florida stop you. But I think and and I also want to say that because of my work here there, I I feel especially down here in Florida, of course, especi, you know, we're the seniors capital in the of the world. You know that from but but you know, we are making strides. I mean, Dr.

[40:02]  a grownin here at the mind institute. He has come up with this whole idea of placing people in a wellness center for their brain power. I mean it's not like one day you're sane and then the next day you're demented. That's not how it is. Some people do it quickly. My husband had a fairly downward trajectory. Um but then you can plateau and so put all those people together.

[40:32]  put all the people who still have more good days than bad days together. You know what I'm saying? It's um so we because the baby boomers are in fact getting dementia as are their parents now we're worried about it. It's like, oh my gosh, this can happen to me. I mean, I'm well aware that it happened to mom, so there's no reason it can't happen to me.

[40:58]  You know, I'm hoping I'm more my dad. But Francis, as I'm looking at the time, I know we can go on forever. How But we got to start to wrap it up. So, I want to get to the funs part. I want to get to that blind question. We like to end every episode with something special. I mean, you are special. However, our last guest, they left a question for you without even knowing who you are. So they ask out of everything that you're doing, what is that one major thing that you've learned being a leader that you must lead by example. Unless you've done it, you can't lead it.

[41:46]  Okay, I like that. So now it's your turn. What's that one question that you would like to leave for our next guest? Why do you feel as though this journey is the one you should be on? I like that. Why do you feel this? Okay, this is really good. I almost wanted to answer, but I'm not going to answer. I'm going to let the next person answer this. Francis, this is truly being incredible. It Thank you. Yeah, I and I know that people are going to walk away just feeling inspired and informed more importantly because I think it's a conversation we don't have enough until the last minute. Um, but before we wrap, any any final words or or wisdom that you want to leave to the viewers that are watching?

[42:27]  Well, I'm I I don't want this to sound negative at all, but the only way to die is by living your best life ever. You're just dropping all gems today. That was a mic drop. For everyone listening, take notes. This is truly just a master class with Francis in resilience and impact. Go make sure that you guys check out Parent Your Parents, check out Francis's book, and always keep hustling with heart. Francis, thank you so much for being here, and I can't wait to see you on CNN because I I didn't forget that. Okay, my hashtag is CNN watchme.

[43:06]  I love it.