From Corporate Sales to Saving Lives: Kristin Lamendola's Mission-Driven Pivot

[0:16]  Welcome back to another episode here on the Hard and Hustle podcast. Today's guest, Kristen, how you doing today?

[0:21]  I'm doing great, Ephron. How are you?

[0:23]  Good. Let's talk about this pickle ball that you were just talking about. So, you played pickle ball. I played pickle ball first thing this morning. Um I live in a community where we are but it's not it's not a retirement community but we skew older and pickle ball and golf and things like that are very popular. So um I've been able to

[0:44]  How long have you been doing

[0:45]  to me? Like pickle ball is so new, you know, to know that there's a community already out there playing it. How long have you been doing it?

[0:51]  About three years.

[0:53]  Really?

[0:54]  Yeah. Is this that thing that people

[0:56]  Is it the thing like I see you said three years. Is it the thing that people may not know about you? Like if someone meets you for the first time, does that surprise them? Because it surprised me this morning.

[1:06]  Did it I mean so I I've done sports my whole life. I was a college athlete.

[1:10]  Um and your competitive nature, we talked about competitiveness at times and your competitive nature doesn't

[1:18]  necessarily like end when you leave college. And yeah, you can bring it with you to work in some ways, but sometimes competitiveness isn't always what's called for in work, even in in some of the stuff I do, which you know, which is basically sales and business development.

[1:34]  Um, so having a competitive outlet is nice.

[1:37]  I love it. I love that you wake up so early in the morning to do that because I wake up the first thing in the morning. I'm grabbing a cup of coffee and normally just get my day started especially that we get to work remote or I I'm always remote actually but uh thinking about playing sports in the morning. I can't even wake up and go running sometimes like I'm like I'm going to go running and then yeah you know how that works out but it's just it's like the best thing to do for me. It works for me because now like my body's been moving around and now I can sit at my desk in this office and work for the next 8 10 hours. So it's all good.

[2:08]  Love it. So Kristen, let's people that want to know what kind of leader are you and what uh the organization you represent if we can kind of get a little bit of that.

[2:16]  So I am very proud to represent a national nonprofit called Partnership to End Addiction. Um we've been around for over 30 years um under a couple different names. In 2018, the organization um came together under this new name because there was the merging of two legacy organizations, both dedicated to ending the addiction crisis, but they both came to it or each of them came to it in a little bit of a different fashion. Um, one organization was uh kind of a powerhouse of research and did a lot of policy work was very much interested in really understanding first it was with cigarettes like how can you know why are people smoking? Why are young people smoking? um how can what can we do you know looking at at the the evidence-based ways that we can um drive smoking sessation and then that became you know how do we drive cessation of other substances alcohol marijuana etc. Yeah.

[3:16]  The other organization that that came together um was something that a lot of folks are more familiar with. It was called Partner Partnership for Drug-Free Kids. And if you remember, there was a very iconic ad that ran it seemed like all the time um with a frying pan. And there was an egg and they said, "Hey kids, this is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Get the picture." Um, and you know, the the the really well-intended, incredible people who started Partnership for Drug-Free Kids believed in the power of advertising to get young people to to think twice about using drugs. Um, and you can argue how effective it was. And actually

[3:56]  you now you know some 20 30 years later what we know because we can even under our new umbrella we still do the research to understand why young people use what's best for for preventing use delaying early use and most importantly what can we do to end addiction in this country. Um, you know, we have we have grand we have grand goals. You know, I've been very involved with the organization in their five-year strategic plan. And, you know, we are going to make a massive impact in reducing addiction. And we can do that because we do understand how and why young people start to use. And the reason that we're focusing on young people isn't that we don't care about, you know, the older people in in this country and elsewhere who are um struggling with substance use. Substance use it is a it's a health issue and it's rooted in adolescence.

[4:54]  Yeah.

[4:55]  And something that I heard when I started with the organization about a year and a half ago is for every year we can delay initial use of substances the likelihood of addiction goes down dramatically. So what we call prevention or the delay of initial use is the single best thing we can do to end addiction and it's even beyond that. So if we can get young person from 15 to 16 before they start use the likelihood of addiction goes down. From 16 to 17 it goes down. So a lot of what partnership to end addiction does now is we work with parents, professionals, policy makers on really getting them to understand the beauty of prevention and and uh delaying early use. But we also recognize that young people are using that treatment can be very effective. And we've got this incredible group of people um who really understand that, you know, evidence-based effective ways that young people should be getting the treatment that they need if they are struggling with substances.

[6:11]  You know, you're talking about young um people even in the space doing drugs. I you don't realize it. It's almost kind of common. You know, I was actually just talking to um some neighbors yesterday. were just working out and they were just talking about them doing coke at 16 years old and I'm like in awe like what you know and it's probably cuz in my home I didn't see that but that that's that's happening in so many other homes you know where they do see that or sometimes you know the parent has to go off to to work and now they're with another family member that does that

[6:41]  um I I think it is a a thing that is is needed I always felt that you have to help the kids at that young age as early as possible right not just drug use, but just in life, we have to pour into them because what they're learning, these are becoming habits of their lives, you know. Um, I think about I think I told you this, my mom that probably since 17, 18 years old has been doing drugs like and and still doing it, right? That's just kind of now common nature to her. It's harder at that time.

[7:14]  Sure.

[7:14]  You know, so what you're saying is let's help them while it's still easy. Not that that we don't want to help them, but there's communities out there helping these folks, not enough helping these young individuals. Is that correct? I mean, when we think about organizations,

[7:26]  I want to push back and say it's not necessarily easy.

[7:29]  Okay.

[7:29]  Right. I mean, if you've got a young person in your life who is struggling with substances, it's not like you can just wave a magic wand and then they're going to stop using. Um, but if we can get them treatment earlier, their likelihood of a long, productive, healthy life is so much better. Yeah, I love it. And you had your own experiences with with this, right? Is is that how you get here? Um, life brings us I feel like life sometimes plays huge parts in who we become.

[7:58]  Sometimes the unknown we you know really to get us uncomfortable. You were in a very uncomfortable situation. Can we talk a little bit about Kristen why you changed the trajectory of what your career looked like to make sure that you still keep a legacy alive for someone that obviously you love?

[8:13]  Sure. Um, we lost a child to substance use on December 4th, 2020. We're coming up on the 5year anniversary. Um, and we didn't know at the time, the statistics I shared, not statistics, but the the evidence I shared that, you know, folks who start using young are more likely to become addicted. Um, but he started struggling, as far as we know, at 13. Um he was my stepson. We shared custody with his mother and stepfather. So he would live in Arizona part of the year. He would live with us for part of the year. Um handsome, smart, amazing athlete, had the world on a string. And we get a call one day that he was expelled from the eighth grade for using. And we're like, "Excuse me, no, no, no, no. That like we were we were so shocked." Um, and so that was he was 13. He when he passed, he was almost 28. So it was 15 long years of just everything you can imagine, you know, incarceration, uh, treatment, recovery. Um he was, you know, he was pursuing a a college degree at Arizona State and doing really well. He was very bright, very hard worker, like he had a great job. Um and he managed to do it all. Um and at the end it was the, you know, the one pill can kill and it did.

[9:57]  Yeah.

[9:57]  And it was during CO and we were all locked down and you know there was lots of things around it but um so It's it's as you can imagine, you're a parent.

[10:10]  Yeah. Yeah. I can't Well, I can't even I can't even imagine actually. You know what I mean?

[10:16]  I don't want you to. You'll lose me.

[10:18]  Um,

[10:18]  you know, I had to learn like sometimes he says, "Oh, I could imagine." It's like you have to be real with yourself. I couldn't. You know, it's a hard thing, but it it really allowed you to pause your corporate trajectory and say,

[10:29]  took a couple years.

[10:30]  It took a couple years. So, I was I was doing corporate sales for a long time. Um, I was very involved in kind of the human capital space selling software and got to a point about a year and a half ago where um, I was just kind of like it's it's it's time I was given an opportunity in the form of a layoff and I was given the opportunity to explore, you know, doing something more missiondriven and purpose driven. I did have a connection to partnership to end addiction. Uh the gentleman who is the CEO is we grew up in the same hometown. He's a lifelong friend. Um so like on my son's anniversary on his birthday I would make donations to the organization that kind of thing and I reached out to him and you know I started as a consultant and now I've been here a year and a half and it's

[11:23]  wow

[11:23]  it's the best work I've done. It's best for me. It's hard. It's hard, but the people, the organization, and obviously the mission are second to none.

[11:37]  Yeah. I um those layoffs, those times where life is really challenging you and testing you, I can only imagine you're asking probably asking yourself like, "What do I supposed to do now?"

[11:47]  Oh, yeah.

[11:48]  And then when you find purpose and you talk about

[11:50]  college, oh my god.

[11:52]  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, oh my god. And but being where you're at today, I can imagine kind of thankful for that layoff because it found you found purpose, right? You found passion understanding what you're doing today is helping other families.

[12:06]  And I think even yourself had that mindset shift recognizing that your child

[12:10]  isn't horrible or criminal. Your child is sick and just needs support, right? That's the the foundation. How many parents do you have to have this conversation with? I can imagine that parents that are dealing with this are are thinking these things, but it's not true, right? Is that the case?

[12:27]  I'm so glad that you said that. Um, the one thing that I hear, so for first and foremost, I am not a clinician. I am not anybody providing services to the families we serve. Um, I stay in my lane. Um, I connect people with the services that we provide. Um, but I don't want anyone to think that I am in any way licensed to provide services to families who need it. I connect them with the people who are licensed to do that.

[12:55]  Got it.

[12:56]  And we have amazing services and resources, digital coaching, digital resources that are free to families. And I hear people say this. I had a conversation with a with a friend of a friend the other night. She has a son who's struggling with with alcohol. And I just kept saying to her, you know, I'm with you and you're doing the right things and your son isn't horrible. Your son has an has a a sub, you know, has a substance use. He has an alcohol use disorder.

[13:26]  Um, but what you said, it's it's really hard when your kid is going through it. There's so much shame and stigma with drugs and we're trying so hard both at our organization and across this industry to reduce the shame and the stigma. You know, one in three Americans are impacted by substance use. One in three. I mean, so me, you, and one other person, one of us is I mean, in your in your case, both of us are, right? Your mom. Um, but but it there's still so much of it and I wish I knew now or I wish I knew then what I know now, which is it's okay to be upset with him or disappointed or concerned maybe. But the last thing you want to do is to treat somebody who is struggling mightily with substances. In many cases, they al they also struggling with some mental health issues. And in my son's case, I suspect he probably was, but was somewhat undiagnosed. Um, to to make them feel worse, right? To to to to come in with a punishment, a punitive type of approach, that's not helpful. And the other thing that we know from all the research we've done over the last few decades is, you know, taking a human centered approach is so much more effective. And the people who are most capable of having a positive impact and helping their loved ones stay away from from drugs, right, in that prevention, early early joy, early use

[15:06]  and to get loved ones into treatment if they need it. It's families, it's parents, it's other concerned loved ones. And that's who we serve at Partnership in Addiction. It's the parents. It's it's the grandparents, the aunts, the uncles, the stepmothers like me. We're here for them. Yeah. When you talk about this organization, you talk about one and three. Is this an organization that is just located in one city? Your organization is this abroad throughout the country? What's the size of the organization look like?

[15:35]  So, we are a national nonprofit. Our headquarters is New York City. Um, but I don't live in New York City. We have folks living throughout the country. Um, love it.

[15:46]  We serve the country. we we can provide our our digital services. Um so we have if if you have concerns about somebody in your life, maybe a you know niece or a nephew, um you can contact our helpline and set up time to talk with with a trained clinician either by phone or by text. You can take part in an online support community. I've I've done that myself. We have a grief community that's really wonderful that is staffed by trained peer counselors. So other parents with lived experience. So in the case of the grief community, it's other parents who lost a child. Um there's so much evidence about the strength um and the value of of peers in in addiction in general. Um or you know, if you just want information, you know, what is this pink cocaine I've been hearing about? What is vaping? What I look for? We have so many resources on our website. It's drugfree.org. Um, if you or somebody that you love or even care about a little bit, you think might be

[16:52]  even at risk of using, please go to our website. It's free. Um, we and the people who who create the content on the website are brilliant.

[17:02]  I love that. I I think about when I was a young kid, we had programs such as uh DARE, right? I think what is it? Drug abuse resistance education if I'm not mistakenly popular in schools for a long time. Is this so that's not around? Like we're not really focused like that at the school level like we used to be back then. Are we struggling there? Like

[17:23]  No. So again, what we're learning about what works with kids and what doesn't. Um and specifically as it relates to substances is scare tactics don't work.

[17:33]  Got it.

[17:34]  You know, when our son died, um I'm the thing that my strug my husband struggled with the most. He's like, "How many times did I tell him it was going to kill him?" "How many times did I tell him?" And I'm like, you know, and now I know. Like just telling somebody that, scaring them that this is going to kill you, it's a very natural reaction, right?

[17:57]  Yeah.

[17:58]  It's not helpful. It isn't. and the brilliant people who work at Partnership and the amazing people who work around this country because we also at Partnership work with professionals to train them so that they are more equipped

[18:14]  to serve young people who are struggling with substances and their families. Um, you know, we we know that there's other ways to do this. We have we have great techniques like you know motivational interviewing to really get somebody on board to set small goals is another um you know we also believe very strongly in harm reduction. You know complete abstinence works for some people for others maybe that's a more long-term goal. The first thing we want to do is to keep them alive. So, we want to talk about using things like Nlloxxone, which is an um an overdose reversal medication, um and getting that into communities. We're seeing that more and more. And we are seeing overdoses going down, which is tremendous. We're also seeing, you know, initial use and young people going down. So, we we're seeing so much progress, but obviously there's a lot of work to do. If you can really speak to the parents in the community where stigma runs deep, what would you actually say first to them? Because you know, we talked about stigma, we talked about just parents kind of dealing with this, but there's also that stigma that's just kind of floating around as well.

[19:24]  Um, for one, if I'm speaking directly to the parents, you did nothing wrong. I mean, you know, you probably feel this, but as a parent, you always feel like you're doing something wrong, right? Your kid you know, um, but there wasn't any one thing that you did that led to this outcome for your child. So, first of all, don't blame yourself. Second of all, you are not alone. There are millions of families across this country dealing with this. Um, you know, we, my husband and I recently moved to a small community and a woman I play pickle ball with who was one of my pickleball team coaches. Um, I learned through somebody that she lost a daughter to overdose. Like, what are the chances? So, I kind of I texted with her, let her know our story. There's a grief group here in this community where I live now because there are parents my age or close around my my age, you know, there's enough parents who have lost a child to overdose or substances. Um, and they've invited me to join the group. They have dinner once a month. So,

[20:40]  wow.

[20:40]  You're not alone.

[20:44]  And there's help out there for you.

[20:47]  Don't is not alone. And that's just like in so many different fields, but this one especially where to know that there's groups around this like how cool, right? I think when when when you're able to build something around this and be strong enough to hold these conversations and when one person starts to share, how many more start to really open up and the more that you start opening up, I mean, I experienced the sexual abuse and adoption and especially on the sexual abuse side that I didn't talk about that till I was like 27 years old. And I remember the first day I had to talk about that right to my now wife and just sitting in the car crying. I remember sitting in the car crying because now I felt like I had to text my friends cuz I felt like I wasn't being honest with myself or with them and feeling all these emotions. You know, I was I was at work on my way to

[21:34]  being vulnerable.

[21:36]  But now I tell that story more comfortably because I know that it's not just about me. It's about every other person that may be experiencing this to this day and allowing them to see that there is the other side. I mean, you're in the space of that, right? And and being in these groups, you're in the spaces of that is that you guys the more the more that can have this conversation, the more people we can ideally help. I mean, one in three, it's that's a crazy number to really think of.

[22:02]  Yeah.

[22:03]  You know, and then to you say someone in my own community has experienced that, that goes that that one in three, right? like

[22:09]  I can imagine you that small community like it's not like there's a lot of people in there. So it it is um definitely very scary to even think about um you know I even raised my own kids. What's the what's one one of the what's been one of the most surprising things you probably learned about prevention that many people won't even know.

[22:28]  I mean honestly I think it's what I shared earlier. you know, the fact that if we can delay initial use, the outcomes are so much better and like the evidence is compelling and overwhelming and undeniable. Um, and and I've heard these conversations, too. You know, I I'm going to, you know, my kids know this. I I'll admit it. You know, I drank in high school. I drank plenty. um letting kids, you know, the whole like, well, I let them drink at home because it's safer, right? I'd rather them drink at home than drink out, you know, with friends or, you know, in field. Drinking at home, it's it's not an ideal setup.

[23:13]  I think if parents and and modeling good behavior is important, too. Um, you know, again, if we had to do it all over again, I would probably drink. You know, my my other two children are not neither one of them really consumes substances. I have a son who's a pilot and he really can't for,

[23:31]  you know, legal reasons.

[23:33]  And my daughter is a college swimmer and it just doesn't really work well for, you know, her training. But neither one of them have much of an appetite for it.

[23:40]  Yeah.

[23:41]  Um, which is great. And I'm sure the fact that they lost a brother when they were 16 and 19

[23:47]  um has a big part to play with in it also. But if I had again if I had to do it all over again, I would really kind of just change my approach to in our case alcohol. We don't use other substances. Um and and encourage them to not use. It's just so it's so important. and and raising healthy kids is the most important thing we do as parents.

[24:16]  Yeah. Like you mentioned just the modeling the behaviors like if it's happening at home, it it's actually quite even just cigarettes in general about cigarettes.

[24:27]  Yes. When I think about, you know, I see parents, dads like myself that are walking around with a four or fiveyear-old and smoking a cigarette and I think to myself like, okay, you smoke a cigarette, but you can't do that and by yourself outside like really exposing kids and of course they're going to see it. But we are we are those role models in our kids lives.

[24:46]  They're always watching, right? They're always

[24:48]  and and kind of what you mentioned is when we say something, they can care less. what they see for some apparent reason feels a little bit more enticing to them like wait a minute I just seen him do that let me do that as well

[25:00]  so yeah it is one of those even for myself um I try to be very mindful

[25:05]  even of the language I speak around my kids

[25:07]  oh gosh absolutely

[25:09]  because even that like any little thing could could be something that the kids pick up we got to be very yeah very mindful um as leaders I I think what you've done to kind of leave this corporate world go into this more of a nonprofit impact back space. There's a lot of cultural difference. Um, what kind of what kind of dog? What kind of dog is it?

[25:33]  He is a 95B mut who is six years old and will greet anyone who comes to the door with hugs and kisses. He is just massive and we love him because apologies for that.

[25:47]  Oh man, that's a night. I lost mine actually, man. Time's flying. Probably a year and a half ago. I had a pit bull. Um, and I would never

[25:55]  Yeah, I would never forget the morning that was like we knew my dog wasn't doing well. I mean, my dog was 13, 14 years old, so I lived a good life. But, um, wasn't doing well. We woke up this morning. I know this is completely off topic, but we woke up. We woke up. I was going to sleep at 2 o'clock in the morning like I told you, right? Like I told you, that's just times I go to sleep. And I would going to let the dog out and just she wouldn't leave my side. Very weird. I'm like, okay. It's almost kind of like had to scoot her outside like go outside before we go to bed. She just kind of stood there. So I said, "Okay, come back inside." And um as I was going to bed, she laid right in front of my daughter's door. And then we wake up in the morning and it's like 5:00 in the morning and my wife is like, "I smell something." Obviously the dog had, you know, went inside, pooped inside. So I'm like, "Oh my god." So I'm 5:00 in the morning. Okay, we can't just let it sit there. I got to wake up. But then I realize I'm cleaning and I'm like with the vacuum and all this. I'm like trying to move her and she's not moving

[26:48]  and I can see her eyes are still open but she just had no energy in herself. So I was kind of like had to pick her up and as you mentioned these dogs is super heavy.

[26:56]  Pick her up and move her and but she was just like almost like dead weight. And then as I look at her gums are becoming really like pale white and I'm like oh my god I'm freaking out. Right. I had this dog since she was like 3 weeks. And um my wife gets on the floor and as soon as my wife gets on the floor, my dog puts her head on my wife's lap and that was her last breath. 6 o'clock in the morning is how I wake up. And of course I'm balling, crying like I'm Oh my god. And

[27:23]  what a lovely way to transition for that dog right near it lap. Oh

[27:28]  yeah. Yeah. Um and it was sad, you know. We we it was sad for probably more sad for me than ever. But to this day, a year and a half later, we have like the uh the paw print and we have like this card with the hair in it, stuff like that. And my daughter in in the fridge, my daughter's like, "I miss Dela." Her name was Dela. I miss Dela so much. And I'm like, you know, but Dela got to see us from being just boyfriend and girlfriends to moving out to getting married to having kids to buying a house. I'm like, this dog was really there for every step of the way. I mean, times when me and my wife were not seeing eye to eye, you know, the dog is still there. There's something about a dog. I love dogs, but uh when I when I hear dogs, it's just it's a cool thing. But I will after this, I'm done. Okay. When my dog pass away, I got another dog, a little rat terrier that just barks at anything and everything that moves. Um but I I'm like I'm done. I got two young kids and I got to take care of these dogs. Kristen,

[28:21]  I don't know.

[28:21]  You're not done. You're a dog person. You're not done. You're not done.

[28:24]  I know. I know. I love dogs. Um what was that big We talked about. We were just talking about it before the dog started interrupt the conversation here. What is the dog doing now? What is your biggest culture adjustment when moving from that corporate training to the nonprofit addiction work? Do you feel like there was really an adjustment that that took place?

[28:40]  Um, yes, in a good way. So, and I consider myself decent at kind of situational awareness, I'll call it. So recognizing that maybe not everybody is go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go and you know I went from a startup to this organization and and don't get me wrong people at partnership to addiction work hard they work long um so it's not that but it's just it's such a different culture um it's much more collaborative and coordinated than competitive And even, you know, with the startup like, oh, we're all on the same team. There's still a lot of backbiting and there's still it's still corporate. It's just it's not as as, you know, it's not a mission driven. And corporations like to say, well, we have they are mission driven. We are truly mission driven.

[29:38]  I mean, we're going to end the addiction crisis. You know, we're going to reach 21.5 million people by 2030 who need our services. Like, that's a mission. Um, so it it's just it took me a little bit of time to like okay the way in which I present I need to kind of kind of ratchet it back and I now that I've been here a minute I'm like maybe this is what I always should have been doing you know maybe I kind of remodeled myself for corporate because I work hard here and I come to work every day a grateful and and be proud and not that I and I've had corporations that I've worked for that I am very proud of um but nothing like this.

[30:33]  If the Heart and Hustle podcast has ever sparked any idea or made you think differently, do us a favor. Make sure to guys share this, post it on LinkedIn, or even text that nonprofit friend that you just have. Whatever works. This is what keeps the conversation going and allows us to just grow this community together. Seriously, we appreciate you.

[30:54]  So, the nonprofit space is very um you you you get to play every role. I'd say if one day today you want to play marketing and tomorrow you want to play like they you know I don't know front line. They allow that, right? They they want you.

[31:08]  We have we have a full staff. I mean we we've been around for a while. We have great marketing. We have a great comm's team. Amazing research. But let's be honest, in corporate world, when they hire you for something, that's all they want you to do. Like, don't get out of this box.

[31:21]  I'm pushing back on you a little because when I was working smaller organizations, you don't have to wear a lot of hats.

[31:26]  You really

[31:27]  listen, I to me talking about corporate world, I feel like when it comes to corporate, and I and I say this more for those leaders that are trying to figure out, well, maybe I don't have that. Maybe I don't have this talent.

[31:38]  Well, in a nonprofit, they allow you to explore your talents, right? They allow you to fail without getting upset or feeling like you're going to lose your job. At least I think in the nonprofit world a little bit more than being in the corporate space.

[31:51]  Yeah.

[31:52]  And you fail, they're looking at you like, "Wait a minute, we got to replace this person." Right? Like I think it's easier to replace somebody in the corporate world faster and easier versus the nonprofit. It's so hard to really get committed, driven people that do this out of passion and purpose because not everybody in the space is is doing it for the money. there's they could be elsewhere if they're really doing it for the money. But I I also want to kind of go back to what you mentioned about um the sense of I wish I would have been doing this sooner. I think it's along the words that you use. I heard this and I also believe it because I I lived it is that everything that we do sets us up for who we are today, right? Because we're always evolving individuals. And I heard this recently from a leader is that and I don't know how spiritual you are but um without tests there's no testimony right and we're being tested every single day. There's so many tests that's happen in your life whether it was in corporate world whether it was in life that allowed you to be here because if you look back at everything if it didn't happen the way that it did would you kind of be in the space? Oh,

[32:58]  I don't know. Right. We don't we don't know. But so I I'm always when someone says, you know, Ephraine, if you could kind of

[33:06]  wrap up your life in one word, what does that look like? I always say grateful because without everything, the sexual abuse, the adoption, the feeling alone, the, you know, um just the anger issues, all these things, going to therapy, right, changed my life. Um understanding that now I'm I'm a voice for the voiceless, you know, um changed my life. I I don't know if I would have been in those situations or be as as purposeful and be as passionate about some things if life didn't pan the way it is. So I do do you agree that you got here at the right time? Maybe.

[33:41]  Oh yes,

[33:42]  110%. Um I agree with you. I like that the the test is what leads to testimony. I like that. Um because I think in spite of what we've endured, I mean, I also lost my best friend to cancer last year. Like it's it's we lost a dog last year. Like it's been like for the last few years. And I think if I were to have a word, it would be blessed.

[34:12]  Um

[34:13]  I love that.

[34:14]  I I know that my life here is is temporary. I believe with every part of my being, I will see Bryant again. I hope every day that I do this work, and I have his picture right there, that I'm making him proud. He used to say to me, um, and his his the girlfriend that he had at the time of his passing said, you know, he he was always concerned with making you proud, Kristen. I don't know why, me, but he, you know, we had we had a wonderful relationship. Um, but that was a big thing for him was making me proud. Like he was staying in school in part because he knew that education was important to me and he, you know, I really pushed him to get his degree because he was really smart. Um, now I I flip it around and I kind of look up at the picture. I'm like, I hope I'm making you proud now. And you talked earlier about legacy

[35:12]  and I'm doing this for his legacy because he meant something. He may have been just shy of 28 when he died, but he has a lasting impact not just on his immediate family and friends and his amazing girlfriend who we adore, but on it's going to there's going to be ripple effects. And if I can help to be a catalyst for that, I'm blessed. You know, I sit here and think about that what you just mentioned on why he may have said he wanted to make me proud. And I think about someone like myself that didn't grow up with a mom, you know, I mean, I adopted Lee, right? I that was my mom, but biological mom um nor my biological father. And when we find someone that cares for us more than sometimes we care for ourselves, that means so much. And I can imagine that he just he felt that. He felt that you cared for him so much even though ideally you guys weren't blood, right? It it was still, wow, how can she care for me? I'm not even her own child. And someone like myself, I seen that in in in men that became mentors to me. I seen that now as an older gentleman, right? I didn't I don't know that I

[36:23]  Wait, older? I don't think you

[36:25]  I'm 35 years old, Kristen. What do you mean? I'm a little older.

[36:30]  Oh, go on, Ephine. Go ahead. Sorry, I did a beautiful thing.

[36:35]  She said, "Oh, there wait a minute." No, but um as I got really in my 30s, I think was when I really started to appreciate my mom for who she was and what she did in my life. I didn't understand it. I didn't understand why I had to go through some of these things. But you know what? She she did the best she could of what she knew. And I respect that now as a a father, as an adult to realize, you know what? I'm appreciative of what you did with what you knew. This was a woman that had seven kids at 28 years old. four of her own and took on three of her sister's kids. She didn't have to. You know, when I hear that story, you realize we all have a story and she could have chose any path. And when she walked away from her own family that to this day are still living off government, still on drugs. She realized at that age I had to do better for my kids. She had a choice.

[37:22]  I respect her for those things. And I'm pretty sure your son also respected you for those things. So, of course, that's why he wanted to make you proud. Um, and and you know, you reverse it and say, "Hey, I you know, I'm le I'm I will never forget him. We will continue to cherish his name." I have a friend like that that I didn't know him for a very long time, but when we talk about great people that just happened to have maybe the short end of the stick, I don't know what we would call it, but I had a friend at 30 years old found dead on the side of the road. But understanding who he was, I had to I got to see who Jesse was. I still speak one to his sister because I now I feel they they were they were adopted um because mom left both of them in a house at five and seven years old went to Haiti never came back then they get separated then they go through all these foster homes right so they didn't have family to me that was a brother to me I remember him living with me but I also seen the side of him when he started to get into the drugs and started to change and it was so hard for me because I had to almost kind of walk away

[38:26]  and say Jesse I love you for who you are and I care for you, but you have to start making the right decisions. And we're only like a year or two years apart. And there's still times I feel bad because I think about, well, I was 19 years old drinking with this guy. You know, I'm 21 years old drinking with this guy. Was it that, you know, did that change his life when all these things were going on in his life, right? like to know that there was some bipolar disorder, to know there was some mental issues, man, as much as I thought I was doing great, was that also hindering the situation of his growth? So, I cherish his name and I talk about him all the time because there's people right now that think they're in it alone. There's there's people that need to hear those situations of these young individuals that are are leaving us too early

[39:14]  for whatever those reasons may have been. and we just got to be more supportive. And I love how you know you pushing him. It wasn't like you were saying don't do this. It was like hey probably in reality telling him better options. Hey we could do this together. I can imagine by just talking to you Kristen you were that person that was trying to find all these different avenues and here you are today still living that life to make sure that other kids could find those other avenues. Um when we talk about programs in this organization, what kind of programs do you guys kind of offer? So those that are listening can also kind of be tuned in and um understand what you guys offer. So the way in which we kind of position ourselves is is we have kind of three audiences.

[39:54]  So parents, professionals, policy makers. When it comes to parents and and parents kind of in a global sense, parents, family, concern concerned loved ones, um they can come to I mentioned before, they can come to our website, drugfree.org work. Um, and just kind of look around whether you've got a young person in your life, a child, a niece, a nephew, a grandchild, um, and you want to do what you can to build up their resiliency, to build up what we call protective factors that will be which are known to be incredibly um, helpful in keeping kids from even wanting to use, we have information for you. Um, if you are suspecting that you have a loved one who's at risk or maybe starting to use there, there's there's articles, videos, courses you can take. We have this a risk assessment where you can answer a series of questions and you'll get expert feedback like here's it sounds like there's reason for concern and here's some resources that you can use right now. Um, and then all the way to how does insurance work? I need to get my kid into treatment. We have something called an insurance resource center. You can go on the website and learn. You have rights. There's insurance parity laws in this country. They're not enforced particularly well, but we do you do have rights. So, kind of across the continuum, we have digital resources for parents. And then I mentioned earlier, we have trained professionals who work for Partnership to End Addiction and also who volunteer for partnership who are trained who are leading our helpline. Um, and you can get one on-one digital coaching either by text or by phone. I I love both ideas. It really depends on your comfort level. You know, sometimes if you're at work and, you know, you're you're kind of half in, half out because you're worried about your 13-year-old who just got suspended in the seventh grade or eighth grade, you know, you don't want to talk to somebody on the phone, but you can text. Here's what I think's happening. You know, and it's it's personal, it's confidential, right? So, you don't have to worry about stigma and shame. um but it'll be helpful and we have online support communities for so for the parents we've got all kinds of free digital resources and digital digital coaching for professionals and this is a lot of the work that I do um whether you are maybe a prevention specialist somebody working at a school somebody working in a a boys and girls club after school activities um we do professional development we do um informational sessions for parents and community members you know maybe you live in In a state where marijuana is now legal for recreational use, what's that mean for our young people? Right? I lived in Colorado for 23 years. We were the first state in the nation to make it, you know, legal to use cannabis recreationally. Um, and I think Colorado did a lot of good things around it, but I think where the gap is is what does this mean for our young people? you know where the so we do a lot of work here at partnership on that but when it comes to training professionals and to informing communities we have resources for that and I mentioned earlier as well for the clinicians who are working with young people so it's social workers um psychologists psych psychiatrists um we have evidencebased uh trainings so for those who maybe you have substance use expertise but you don't work a lot with youth and adolesccent We have trainings to help. Maybe you want to involve more family engagement in your practice. I mentioned earlier families are the single biggest lever for helping young people overcome substance use disorder. We have trainings for those. Um, and then when it comes to to to policy, um, we have an amazing team of policy experts who are working on things like insurance parity laws, like, hey, we need to start thinking about in those places where marijuana is is legal for recreational use.

[43:58]  Um, what are we doing to protect our young people? Um right now you you might be familiar with the opioid settlement funds that have been released um in the last three or four years. A lot of communities are getting a lot of money which is wonderful. The problem is not a lot of communities know what to do with it. So they're kind of like let's get a pingpong table for the rec center because that'll give kids something to do and they won't do drugs.

[44:25]  So what we have is expert recommendations. We have a brand new guide out and it's on our website drugfree.org on what communities should do if they are the recipients of opioid settlement funds. And a lot of what we're going to recommend is work around prevention. Right? Let's get upstream. Let's keep kids from using. Let's delay initial use so that we can prevent

[44:52]  we can prevent addiction.

[44:55]  Such a good conversation. I can't even believe how long we've actually been going. for almost 50 minutes now. Um, as we start to wrap this up, what single action would you ask every listener to take this week to just support someone dealing with the addiction in their life?

[45:08]  Um, if there's someone in your life, whether it's a neighbor, a child, a friend who is using,

[45:16]  just remember this is a health issue that is rooted in adolescence. They're not horrible people. They're not lesser than they're struggling with a health issue. And just like, you know, we we've changed. I mean, I'm young. I'm old enough to remember like we used to say cancer.

[45:40]  Old enough? What do you mean? I'm just joking.

[45:42]  Like we used to whisper the word cancer, right? You didn't talk about cancer.

[45:46]  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[45:48]  Now we talk about openly because it's affected so many of us. Mhm.

[45:54]  We're We're there with substance use and addiction. It's affecting one in three of us in this country. It's time to start opening up our minds and our hearts to this issue. And that's where partnership is, right? Our logo, if you ever see it, it's a heart and a check mark,

[46:11]  right? It's heart because we come to this with compassion. It's a check mark because we'll always be accountable. And we're we're only going to bring to this issue evidence-based researchbacked truth. Where can people find more? I think you've mentioned it throughout, but where could people find maybe socials? Um I think you mentioned the website. Are you on LinkedIn? If people wanted to kind of reach out, have more conversations around this topic. Uh if you could just kind of just say all that before I give you that last question.

[46:43]  Yeah. Um we are on all the socials. We are on I think the only thing we're not on is Tik Tok at this point, but we've got we're really I know not yet. We're we're considering it. Um but we're on Facebook, Instagram. Um and the our Instagram feeds are are terrific. We're getting a lot more creative in that. Um we're on LinkedIn. I'm on LinkedIn. Um I think I'm the only Kristen Landola on LinkedIn or if not, I'm the only one with this hair, so you'll find me. Um please do reach out. Um, we have a new offering coming out. You know, we I mentioned earlier quickly by the we have this new five-year plan and by the end of 2030, our our intention and I know we'll do this because we are so aligned on this is that we're going to reach the 21.5 million people in this country who's who have young people struggling with substances. Um, so that means partnership needs to we can't do this alone, right? So I I run a community partners network where we work with local organizations across the country. We're up to almost 360 of them at this point getting our resources out in a broader way so that we can help them help other people in their communities. But another thing that we're launching now is for employers. So, if you work for a company, um, you know, if you work for a company and you're using substances yourself, you may have support through either your insurance or through an EAP. What you don't have is you, if you're a parent and you either have somebody who's struggling or you're concerned that somebody is struggling, it's a it's having an impact on your work, right? We talked about this earlier. You know, you're probably not showing up as your full self. probably less productive. Um, so we're providing a workplace benefit where you know your HR organization can put in the suite of benefits a curated set of our digital resources and access to our digital coaching and you can get it right through your workplace. That's something that I'm doing is called our family resilience network. And if somebody would like to learn more about that, I'd love to chat with you about it. It's it's a beautiful way to align with, you know, the nation's coaching catalyst for ending youth addiction. Um but also to support the people in your organization for the benefit of the organization. Excuse me.

[49:17]  I love that. What what gives you um as the final question, what gives you hope when you think about the next generation of families impacted by substance use? I know you mentioned that number um plenty of times, but I can pretty much think that maybe that's a lot of the hope, right? Is that plan that you guys created, but anything else that you can kind of add to the hope you have for the next generation?

[49:37]  I love that question. So, something that we've been circulating internally and now we're starting to starting to share it externally as well. when you we talked about the need to delay initial use, right? There's really hopeful statistics showing that the number of people the number of I'm sorry, the number of young people who have said that they are not doing substances by their senior year is going like this. So when I was a senior in high school, it was about 40% had used substances by their senior year.

[50:16]  It's been almost cut in half.

[50:19]  Wow.

[50:20]  And if we have anything to do with it, it's going to keep going down. That's tremendous.

[50:26]  So we've got our work cut out for us, but we know it's the right thing to focus on, and that's where our focus is.

[50:34]  I love that you found this place of passion, purpose. Um, unfortunately, obviously sad things, hurtful things had to happen for us to kind of find our way, I guess, in life. But to know that you're here, I'm pretty sure he's proud. I'm pretty sure you're proud of the work that you're doing. And there's so many other parents that are really proud that you stood up. Um, and became a voice to those that feel like they're alone. That's a huge factor, I think. One, um, today just seeing the smile, the happiness that comes from you, it's because you love what you do. It is really a purpose thing. It is a very a passion. So, we thank you for having this conversation. Can imagine we'll have another conversation as these stats start to get lower. We got to talk about it because I think it's a really cool spot to be in, especially when we talk about helping our young ones. I'm in the high school, so I get it. I see these young kids all the time. Matter of fact, uh before we hop off, just the other day, Halloween, it was teens. I guess it was a grandma's house. The grandkids were throwing a party. I knew it was teens cuz I see them all pull up at 10 11 o'clock in the morning. I hear gunshots firing. And I can only imagine what else was happening in the house when there was no adults, right? It was young teens in high school. Grandma wasn't home and she let them use the house. We got to be very mindful of where our kids are located as well, right? So, uh, there's just so many things that we could really talk about. We just don't have the time. But I appreciate you. I think we definitely tapped into a lot. And we'll have part two at some point, Kristen. And I go try pickle piles as well. Pickle ball is what it is. Pickle ball.

[51:55]  You let me play pickle ball. It's a

[51:57]  Yeah. Yeah. You say you're in Arizona, right?

[51:59]  I'm sorry.

[52:00]  You said you're in Arizona. Was that correct?

[52:02]  Yeah, I'm in I'm in the East Coast. Where did I get Arizona? Did you guys live in Arizona at some point?

[52:07]  No, my my that's where my stepson was parttime.

[52:10]  Oh, okay. Okay. I'm like, wait a minute. There's Arizona somewhere. All right. Well, Kristen, thank you guys so much. My name is E Fray and this is Kristen. This is the Heart and Hustle podcast and we'll see you guys on the next one. Lers.

[52:18]  Thank you.