Darren Washausen Quit Engineering to Save Foster Kids—Here's What He Learned

[0:16]  Welcome back to another episode here on the Heart and Hustle podcast with our next guest that says, "I walked out of a highpaying engineering job so I could adopt a child. I didn't know then that God used that decision to teach me how to build things at last. Ministries, not just moments. Darren, welcome.

[0:32]  Thank you. Thank you. Good to be here.

[0:35]  Ah man, it's a pleasure to have you here as well, man. Let's talk about it. You spent nearly two decades as an engineer in manufacturing. What patterns, discipline, and perspective did you bring um did you bring from life into that nonprofit work? because I always felt like life teaches you things and prepares you for the next chapter and then you walk into a next chapter. How were you prepared for that moment?

[0:57]  Well, I think uh overall I mean I I came out of school, you know, as an engineer as you said there and um you know I was aggressive and focused on career but I think along the way you know you're learning things. Um I became a leader in in the technical fields at a pretty young age under 30. I had quite a staff of people and so I was learning, you know, along the way and and you know, when you're in that kind of a situation, a lot of times the people that were around me were older and um older than I was and yet you had to still kind of, you know, show show them that you were relevant um to be their leader um because that that's not always an easy thing. And so, you know, I really learned to appreciate people and how how to work with, you know, people of all ages and um in that kind of a situation. Um and then uh the the the engineering discipline itself, you know, it's a lot of times very project driven and goal driven. And as as I moved into um you know my my years where I started to look into the the calling that that it was before me in terms of ministry, I think a lot of those skills and seeing like other nonprofits operate where people came in strictly from their passion and from their heart, you know, they they lacked some of those skills to kind of get things done. Um, and you know, and a lot of times the donors of an organization, you know, they want to know, they want to be confident that the organization's actually going to do what they're providing funding for. And I think I think a lot of that combination of understanding what a donor's perspective is from a working world, and I don't have time to be in this, but I'm passionate about what you do. I think I think understanding that side of things helped me to make sure that what we were doing at at Orphan Care Alliance was accomplishing a mission, a goal that that donors would see and that it was tangible to them. Um, so so I think I think a lot of that kind of preparation came from my from my working career in engineering and management.

[3:04]  I love that, man. And and you before you even get into the space, you're already volunteering like 25 hours a week. You mentioned

[3:10]  what was happening over that time that Go ahead. That

[3:12]  Well, yeah, it was meant to be just this. I was volunteering in in other or you know, parts of of our church ministries and stuff. Uh but but nothing significant, a little bit, you know, just smaller. And then the the um there was this point in time around 2007 or eight where my wife and I wanted to volunteer a few hours a week together. that's that's what it was going to look like was a few hours a week and we would do that together since I already had this full-time job and you're with family and you know then it just seemed like I I was without her again if I if I went off and did some volunteering on my own and and we had a passion to do that together. Well um so it did look like that right for the from 2008 at the end of it into 2009 it looked like we were both volunteering a few hours a week. Um but quickly we were asked you know if we would coordinate you know the this kind of a grassroots effort of of a ministry around foster care and adoption in Kentucky. And so so we we did we just kind of started a little bit but you know a little bit grew and grew and grew to the point that you know over over the course of say 5 years I found this significant challenge of this thing is now wanting 15 20 hours a week or more and um I'm still working full-time and we have a family and and my wife at this point you know is already we we had secured a space to operate out of and she's now in there as a volunteer probably 15 20 hours a week and and you know it became a significant part of what we did. So, so that's that's how it it happened, you know, wasn't the plan, but it it seemed to be where we were, you know, and I think um

[5:00]  yeah,

[5:02]  you know, that that's kind of how it happened.

[5:04]  Another

[5:05]  Yeah. And then you get to another space, adoption, which which wasn't just a personal decision. It be really became the hinge of your career pivot, I believe.

[5:13]  Can you tell us how

[5:15]  taking in Andrew into your family changed what you believed you were really capable of? I think that's also the big change for you that realized wait there's so much more to life.

[5:22]  Was it was and after you know and after I I don't know that I so much realized that um until maybe after the last time we talked I I uh was looking through the notes of that and and it really was a hinge point. You know I don't know if I ever looked at it that way before. Um but you know we so we we adopted Andrew um we started the journey in 2003 which was the year he was born and then we we brought him into our home in 2004. And at the beginning it it you know just seemed like it was um you know rounding out our family and our call to to be um have more than one child because we already had our daughter. Um, and you know, so it was it was just seemed like that. It seemed simple at that point. But, um, you know, I think I think as we as Andrew, we were raising Andrew and we we you know, knew that we had some of our own challenges with with raising a child from from an adoption situation. And it it just was different than raising our our biological child. And so we we started to reach out and we got connected with him with some of these people and then and then that you know that evolved over the course of that time to oh this is like a ministry you know that can be that needs to be out there and I think I think the more that we saw the challenges and other people's challenges and then you know had our eyes open to the foster care system and some of those things just by being in this crowd. Um, that's that's what started to really drive the passion of growing OCA, you know, on a personal level for my wife and I.

[7:08]  And and and you know, when it's like we we hung this, you know, shingle of, hey, we're a nonprofit in 2009 and the amount of people coming to us was almost at some points overwhelming, you know, and and just seeing that cause. And so, you know, it became this driver for both her and I um about what we were doing every day and just how many people needed help and then the situations that children and families were in and and that's what was fueling everything for us, you know. Um that that's the it became a heart issue you know for me for especially and and for her too but but for me it was especially difficult or a bigger transition I'll say um you know I had much more of a leftrain factual black and white kind of a mindset you know from I'll say from 2000 and prior and you know, Andrew and the the cause of these children turned it much more into a heart issue. Um, and I found a passion there about that that I probably didn't know I had. Um, and it certainly was exposed and then I couldn't I couldn't unsee it, you know, I couldn't let it go. So, um, it's kind of where how we got to where we are, I think. So,

[8:35]  and as I told to you when I spoke to you last time, so cool that you were able to adopt. I mean there's

[8:42]  more I actually spoke to a leader and he mentioned there was more than half a million kids in the foster system right like

[8:48]  correct

[8:49]  you were able to be a small part of of that and and you will continue to just give you're in the space of giving back allowing others to realize as you mentioned the testimony you know the best thing I heard actually Dar when talking about testimony someone says God would put you to through a test to give a testimony and and and you went through that test right and now you can tell the testimony and your son is that living testimony. You know, all everything that you poured into him and and raising him as your own, that is not an easy challenge, right? And and you and you've kind of mentioned that, but you you've done so amazing at it. So, and then every time I talk to you, you're like, "Yeah, I'm taking him, you know, doing music. You're still so supportive and you can tell he's really appreciative of that." Um, what are some of the things that you kind of went through that you didn't expect going through a as, you know, an adopted uh parent? Well, I mean, so they, you know, boy, that's a that's a good question and I just got to um start well, but but I think I think, you know, most most families will come into it thinking they're, you know, simply adding another child to their to their family and and you are um and and not every adoption, you know, is the same or goes the same and just like every child's different, but uh you know, I think for the most part you walk in and you think that you're going to be able to be the same parent to um these children as you were to maybe other children that you have or are seen. But but a lot of times they're operating from a mindset um and it and it's, you know, instilled well before they're they're aware of it. But but they have a natural mindset of of lack of trust and lack of connection. And and when you don't have that, you can't parent the same way that you parent a child that you that that's just born. You know what you when when you know when your family has a child biologically, there's a connection there that's spiritual and and you know that we don't all understand. And when that is not the case, you you've got to build a trust that you layer before you can do anything to progress with a child. And you know so our challenges were generally we didn't have that trust and and uh as as Andrew became into the ages of you know three to seven you know his behaviors and his his actions the what was behind that was a lack of trust and a lack of relationship to us and a lack of connection and and we you know we had to do a lot of work and a lot of training and a lot of understanding in trauma which is why we my wife and I both train in trauma now but we had to do a lot of understanding to be able to get Andrew connected to us. Um and and it's just a lot of differences and you know people want people come and they hope that you can just fix their child so to speak and and it's really fixing the parents to understand the child and um so so much of what we do at at OCA is really first helping people to realize you've got to build trust with these kids of all ages. It doesn't matter if they're 20 or if they're six. You have got to build trust with them before you're going to go anywhere. And then it's about a genuine relationship to grow them from there. It's it's genuine relationship. It's not,

[12:20]  you know, um conditional. It's it's living through all the things that they're going to do wrong. Um it's it's not, you know, as long as you keep this job, you know, we'll keep being being able to be together or it can't be, oh, I'm getting paid to be with you. They they read through all that. that's not a genuine relationship for to them. And so we we work at helping people establish that genuine relationship that can grow these kids beyond the trauma that they've experienced.

[12:51]  Yeah. I it's um it's one of those things when you talk about adoption, man. Like I love how you just mentioned that it wasn't just the child that needed the assistance. It was more of the parent having to um deal with those situations, right? Because you know, and you kind of mentioned the whole money factor. just really brings something in my head where I was raised by a mom that had seven kids. She had four of her own and she took in three from her sister. So, it was really my aunt that raised me,

[13:17]  but I would always remember her own kids that I call my brothers now um saying, "You were adopted for the money or you picked up off the street." And those are the things that scarred me that I still remembered, you know, and I addressed to my my brother when I was 30 something years old and allowing him to know how that hurt me. And I think a lot of times when we like as someone that has been adopted, we hold so much um ju just so much uh hurt within us and we don't really talk about it, you know, and and luckily at 30 years old, I was able to see, you know, a therapist and able to really talk through some of these things that I had to encounter. But it really happens on both ends, right? Cuz when I went back to my mom and and and finally addressed some of the things I was holding on for all these years, she said, "Hey, I'm so sorry. I did the best I could with what I knew." And that's what you're saying is like, hey, I wanted to know as much as possible to do the best possible, you know, and was I perfect? Not at all, cuz none of us were, but you did the best you could. And and still doing the best you could,

[14:11]  right? And and I love that. Um,

[14:14]  not a lot of people have that same mindset, and I'm happy that you're in this space. I mean, you're probably seeing it more than ever, right?

[14:20]  Yeah. I mean, we do. And u you I mean, to your point there, it is. I mean, I mean, one day, you know, Andrew's story is a little different than yours, but um you know, he has a situation where he never knew his biological parents. And so, you know, one day, you know, after a really bad argument, I'll call it, um and and uh he he's in his late teens and he said, he goes, "You know, I'm angry at my dad and I take it out on you." you know, I mean, that was the why behind a lot of the behavior, you know, I mean, but he was finally able to communicate it, you know, and uh and he was sorry about it, but but he said that's that's a truth, you know, for him. And so, you know, I think just realizing it and helping him talk through it, you know, it's it's um it's been healing for him. You know, to your point, like when you said you you were able to talk to your brother, um you know, it's a healing moment. And you you know, you've got it you're dredging it way out of of the deep hurts that you have. And sometimes you can't even vocalize them. And I think that's what happens with kids that are, you know, somewhere between seven and 12. They're going through all this change. they're having these feelings. It's deep hurt inside and they can't even identify it to be able to communicate it. And I think it makes it hard, you know, and and so then the p it's a patience on our on the parent side. It's a patience and it's a knowing there's a why behind the behavior, but you know, helping to excavate that from deep with in within, you know, is is hard. So,

[15:56]  yeah, kudos to you. I everything that you're mentioning is like I didn't know at the moment I was dealing with some of these things but um I remember yeah the acting out you know um misbehaving and it wasn't what was it wasn't who I was it was what was happening to me right I felt the not feeling loved I felt like like I didn't I wasn't seen you know because I did feel the difference and and you just made sure that

[16:19]  that wasn't the case and you're still making sure that's not the case not just for your own kids but for other kids. talk about some of the things that you're doing at the organization level to really help some of these families.

[16:28]  Yeah. So, I mean, we we really have three, you know, major areas that we try to help in. Um, one is sort of what we've been talking about and it was where we started. It was really being a support to families that chose adoption. Um, then then the next thing that we sort of evolved into was the the kids that are in care that weren't adopted that were maybe in the foster system. and and you know, while we help a little bit more financially with international adoption and so the families at Kentucky that chose international ad adoption and and we were able to to help them, but but we moved, you know, when we moved into the kids, it was more about the kids within Kucky's foster care system. And so we we you know the big thing we do is to try and provide life coaches to those um families and uh or to those to those kids because a lot of times you know it seems like not a lot and we sometimes can only get to be where we have an hour or so a week with them. um it can be extended into a little bit more but but that is the the one hour a week that they look forward to and the one hour a week where they know somebody's there who just appreciates and wants a relationship with them and not you know some some otherbody else who might be a a psychologist or a doctor or or you know those kinds of people that are around you in in more of that institutional kind of setting or or even if it's with a family you know maybe it's a foster child in a family those opportunities These actually allow a little bit of respit time for the foster family while they're with their their life coach, you know. And we don't use mentor um the word mentor so much to to call to describe our our life coaches because we really want it to be more about just doing life together than somebody who is in a position of well I'm I'm helping you, I'm guiding you. I mean it does become that but it only becomes that after there's a trust in a relationship, right? So, so you know, I mean, I think we we worked that that's our second area. Third area that we evolved into is sort of a family preservation. So, um, we have about 90 families. Well, on before I jump to that, but the life coaching side, we we are working with 40 to 50 kids right now and we could do we could have 20 more if we had enough life coaches. I mean, it's it's really just always trying to to recruit life coaches into this world of of walking with goods. So, um, part of it is the difficulty is just not understanding that they're out there because they're kind of hidden in plain sight in the United States. You know, they're at places that have, you know, fluffy names and all of that, but they they're really institutional living. Um, and part of it is just, you know, for people to understand how they approach them and not put on that, you know, initial label of these are bad kids. They're not bad kids. They're kids who have deep hurt and they're acting out. And so trying to help people understand that. And then then this this third place of ministry is really with the struggling parents. a lot of times moms most of the time, sometimes a family, but just helping them to get stability in their life with with helps and things that we can bring to them um while we're kind of managing a case with them so that they get stability in the states, not always knocking at their door to take their children away because a lot of times it is loving parents who just don't have the means in in some way or another. And so that that creates situations and and that's where we're especially effective. I mean, we don't by all means we don't have a staff of professionals that are there. We have a stash of people who are passionate about growing trust in a relationship with a family to help, you know. So, we we come at it from that side of things. But that's the three main areas. and we're serving about 90 families right now this year um that are just these struggling families trying to help them keep their kids and provide and do the best they can with them and for them. So,

[20:31]  you're saying some really good stuff, man, that I can really relate to. And it's the sense of um one, trusting someone and um having someone in your life that really believes in you,

[20:40]  you know, and it

[20:43]  it just means so much when one person sees the good in you and and that person is what usually kind of plants that seed for you. You know, someone asked me, Ephrain, your mom had 10 kids, your father had eight kids, they only have one together. What makes you that special one? And uh my response was obviously God really blessed me with great people in my life that allowed me to that loved me more at times than I loved myself that seen the good in me before I seen the good in myself.

[21:12]  Right? And and it's what you're doing is that life coach that sees good in in these kids and they're not seeing them for the problem that they're causing realizing that there's so much hurt in there. You know uh and and and we can catch at an early age as these kids start to age out they start to find the right path in life. You know what I mean? Because I I've I've seen it. I've witnessed it where kids didn't have that preparation. So then they go out into the world and they're lost and they don't have that family and they they feel alone and and that's with the drugs and that's where all these things really start to happen. So I love that you guys are really knocking this out at a early early age.

[21:44]  Well, I mean we're

[21:45]  I love that life really led you here.

[21:47]  What's that? You like what?

[21:49]  I love that love that that God led you here. life led you to this moment to be able to help and have

[21:54]  Well, I mean, and I, you know, to your point there, you know, the one of the common statistics is that 75% of kids that come out of foster care end up, you know, homeless in prison or or they pass, you know, through bad choices or whatever that looks like. And you know, so a lot of times, you know, prison ministries, if you ask somebody who works in prison ministry, they will tell you that a huge percentage of those men or women in prison ministry came out of foster care. And you know, so it's a it's just, you know, where we are in the stream of trying to prevent, you know, we we'd love to put prison ministry out of business, you know, by by helping kids in foster care not have that part as part of their path, you know, and uh so so it is true. And I think, you know, to your other point, sometimes it's not, you know, sometimes, especially for the kids that are in foster care, the ones that have been successful, and you you've said it, they they will point to three or so significant people that were in their lives at the right time, in the right place that made an a huge impact and shaped their

[23:06]  their perspective either of themselves or what they were capable of or something that was there, you know, and and you and they might be the most unsuspecting people. One of the guys that I know will name his third grade teacher that brought him in after school, not for detention, but to give him an apple because she knew he was going hungry and and sit and talk with him while he ate the apple. You know, he will name that person as one of the most significant people in his trajectory in life. Um, you know, other people would just name people that they bumped into somewhere and they they took an interest and they they had conversation and they maybe met sometimes and they maybe were only there six months or a year but they were influential enough at that point that they they changed a trajectory, you know. So, I mean it certainly happens that way. So I think people too, you know, Mike, especially in the life coach world, they underestimate their impact on a youth, you know, it's it's, you know, I've heard somebody out there say who was a foster kid at one point, it's not how much time you have, it's what you do with that time, you know, and u so so it being high value, high impact time is what's important. So um I think it just kind of substantiates our or emphasizes some of the things you mentioned. Hey, real quick. If you're enjoying the podcast, we first want to say thank you. And we also just want to give you a little insight of what we're up to at Francis. Some don't even realize that we're working with organizations to help them use AI to create that real human communication experiences where that's actually supporting your your families, those patients, or the entire community. We're actually creating tech that connects. Check it out. Francis.ai. Yeah, man. you've been doing you've been doing some tremendous work around this space and and that's just so cool to always talk to someone that's in this space and you supported over I believe if the last time we mentioned over 300 adoptions,

[25:03]  right?

[25:04]  What what's that one story that still stops you? One child, one family you can't forget and and and the why behind it?

[25:10]  Oh boy, I'd have to think there a little bit. Um

[25:17]  yeah, the imagine there's plenty.

[25:19]  What's that? Yeah, there are plenty. I mean, we we see them and it's like sometimes you get them in snapshots. I think I think it's some of the ones that um are probably most special are the ones that had odds, you know, so many odds stacked against them or that, you know, the situation seemed impossible um from an adoption standpoint and and you're able to help them, you know, work through it and you know, you see them five or six years later because, you know, people don't come to you necessarily routinely when there's not a problem. It's really when they're in a a heated moment or a situation that was very difficult. But, you know, to see some of these families where you've either helped them with resources or you've walked them through. Um, I'm trying to think of one, you know, I know one, you know, where um, you know, there's a lot of difficulty in the family. You know, there was just it was dangerous in the house at times and it was very difficult to hold on. and and uh you know today, you know, there's a successful college graduation by this young man. Um he's he's starting up his own business and um he's he's thriving. You know, that that's one of them that I can think of right off the top of my head. Um sometimes we've we've been able to help families. Um there there was somebody who came to us who um was an aunt raising a child, but the child was very young and concerned about her ability to raise this child through their childhood. and and working with attorneys and others to be able to bring a family that was looking to adopt where this young girl was able to move into that family but still have a relationship with the aunt and, you know, and be raised in in a way that was, you know, maybe not the traditional family, but it kept her connected to her to her biological roots while she was in a place that could raise her into, you know, her young adulthood. um thing things like that have happened and and uh you know it it's very rewarding when when you can see a path kind of come together when it looks like there's nothing you know and how God got them to our door or whatever is always not you know understood um you know we have a meeting next Friday with a similar situation you know a younger adopted child and and one that may be not able to will live on their own and they're they're looking for answers what are their opt options. What can we do because we want this child to be, you know, cared for, but we're not sure that we're going to be here as she needs has their needs and into the future, you know, that kind of stuff. So, um, you know, I mean, where we're able to provide answers and be connected, it's not always us alone who are doing that answer, but it's knowing and the people and the network of people that we work with and and who can come into these situations and be be with us and hoping to provide a solution. So

[28:21]  man, Darren, you you you made transitions in your life that um some won't do, right? So to those corporate professionals listening, considering that mission pivot, what's one practical thing you would encourage them to to test first before they um make that leap? Well, I think I think you, you know, I think it does take some time and prayer of your own, you know, and and then I think you really need to bring those who are closest to you, you know, your your wife, your even your kids to some degree, depending on what ages they are, um, and bring them around you a bit. And, uh, making sure that they understand the path and your why on on what you're doing was was important. And so, you know, I I think I told you that, you know, we we made a pivot in the end of 2018 going into 2019. And, uh, but but that that discussion of that, I mean, some of my close friends and, uh, people that were around me, um, accountability kind of people, you know, they they knew well before 2018 that I felt like this move needed to come at some point. and you know walking me through either knowing other people who who walk through it um was was important kind of processing what what is the outcome okay if you're going to do this you know what is the outcome by by making this change what what changes in the outcomes that you would expect to happen for for your life and then also um for for you know this ministry that we were working in that that that was some of the free work that I think went into it. And then just you know of course your own security which um you know my my wife wanted some assurance of of you know our path forward and are we going to be able to operate at at this different income level and different things like that. And so, you know, I mean, there was some work around that, making sure that we, you know, no, I mean, it probably, not that we were ever thinking about it, but it probably permanently erased any thought of, oh, let's have another house down in the warm climate somewhere, you know, for the winter in retirement. That, you know, th those things were probably off the table and and we had those discussions. you know, if we make this change, it it doesn't mean that, you know, we're going to be considering these kinds of things, you know, into our future of of, you know, maybe retirement or whatever that that's called, if there is such a thing. I don't know if there is right now. Um,

[31:02]  oh man, I can agree. But but anyway that you know I mean I think a lot of that kind of discussion making sure that we're all solid about the reality of what you're talking about and then and then from there you know that outcome what do I want you know why why am I doing this in the first place the the whole idea behind that was the conversation with my wife and I was if we don't do something different when we can't do it anymore this ministry is going to fade away and so you know at some point we've put 20 collective maybe 30 collective it is 30 30 collective years into a ministry and it is was all that worth it if we're just going to let it die because we didn't do anything about it. And so

[31:42]  the it became that but the purpose of of leaving was to try and create a succession plan for the ministry that it would be not dependent on her and I um financially andor resource-wise to be able to to move forward. And so, you know, that that 2019 January set this course of a of a plan that it was I was hoping it would be six total years um to be able to find my successor, her successor and and have, you know, have options about, you know, how that goes in the future about our participation so that but but that the ministry would continue without us. So that's what we did and and I I concluded being the executive director in December 2024. There there's, you know, a team in place that's running the ministry daytoday. I'm the president of the board still. Um don't have a exit plan on that, but I am starting to build now as a phase three to everything. that the phase three is building out the the ministries's um board, you know, kind of having a little bit more of a formal uh even even uh you know, where where members are kind of prepped and on the sidelines maybe starting to become advisors become before full board members, you know, maybe building it out so it maybe covers better the region of Kentucky so that we have good input from all all areas. So So I'm starting to work on those kind of things for the board. So

[33:12]  that's so good. You know, one thing I I I heard um and you can probably tell me if I'm right or wrong here. Someone that was a leader I was talking to one time and he says, "A faithled business would see you more than hustle ever will." And I love that so much. And really when I sit here just thinking about what you've did, this is a faithled business, right? like this is you truly um knowing that there was a calling bigger than you and and you took that leap of faith and here we are as you mentioned now you're really putting people in place and finding out all these different things. Do you agree that a faithled business would teach you more than than hustle ever will?

[33:45]  Um yeah I think because there's more wisdom that comes from a faithled business than than just pure hustle. Um you know pure hustle tends to make it about you. Um, and and one of the things I would say the faithled side of things really got me to understand was it's not about you. Um, it's it's about the ministry. It's about what what the ministry is doing, but it's not about you. And and I think, you know, the course of those six years, I cannot tell you how many people said, "Oh, this must be really hard for you. Oh, this has got to be really difficult for you to be making this transition." And I'm like, "It's really not because it's not about me." you know, I'm actually getting joy from it because as I watch, you know, God bring Brian, my successor, into my life, you know, and how that happened and and the the richness of that and, you know, how certain things fell into place as a part of what we were doing and looking back on, you know, that it was it was probably very much, you know, and God God was favoring a transition kind of a thing because he he certainly brought some key things to happen through through the six years and and my peace was high because I was able to just have some joy in watching, you know, Brian step in and start to take over and things that seem to be even flourishing and more more opportunities to serve, more opportunities of connections and and actually humbly realizing that Brian is better at some things than I am. And uh you know, Brian's a former former and current pastor as a part of what he does. And you know, my my call was to start up something from kind of nothing and and get it going and get it smooth operating. And his call is to really get to the hearts of people and churches much better than I can. Um, and and he's better at it, you know, and there's nothing wrong with understanding that your season, you you just did your best season for this ministry. and and hopefully leading the board is my is my next best season and more of my skill set um that I can do a better job of leading that side of things for Brian to be even more successful.

[35:56]  So it's not about you. That's the key.

[35:58]  So good. So good. Yeah, it's not about us. That is so true. It's not about us. Um for those wanting to support the offen care alliance financially through volunteering or advocacy, where do they begin?

[36:08]  Well, I mean the website is the best place. there's places to onboard, you know, into these different areas or inquire or learn. Um, and that's, you know, www um.orphancarealliance.org. Um, you know, that's that's where it's at. I mean, there's places to give. There's places to say, "Hey, I want to be a life coach." There's places to, you know, get into the system of doing those things right there online. um if you want to adopt there's a you know an application if you if there's financial support required um but it's all starts there I mean we're of course on Facebook and and Instagram as well but but you know the website is the best place to find the the first connection points with us

[36:51]  and of course it lists our staff and our why and all that on there so that you can really see who we are.

[36:57]  So

[36:59]  I'll leave you this last question as we wrap this up. Your adopted son Andrew is now 22. Yep.

[37:04]  What does seeing his life today teach you about long-term investment in children?

[37:08]  Well, I mean, I think it's worth it number one, you know, I mean, it's it's sort of like, you know, the whole some people will come in and go, hey, you know, how much impact are you really making? And it's like, well, overall, you know, the world's evil and and kids continue to come into the system, but I made a difference in this one. You know, I think I think it's that kind of thing, but it's worth it, you know. I mean, it's worth it in seeing how he's grown. Um, whereas, you know, how his self-confidence and and self worth has gone from, you know, feeling near zero to being a, you know, a great young man. And, uh, it it's seeing him, you know, mature into things and knowing right and wrong. Um, it's seeing him, you know, like none of us, he's it's seeing him making making a path at a at a godly life and trying to make the right choices. Um, you know, and and just, you know, there's the times when he's like, you know, at this age, he's kind of like, I understand why you told me that five years ago, and I thought it was stupid, but I get it now. you know, I mean, those are those are moments that he wouldn't have had, you know, if people wouldn't have invested in him, you know, those kinds of things. So, it it's definitely been worth it. Um, and I think I I don't know. I mean, it's, you know, I don't know that you can really describe the feeling, but I mean, there's a feeling of of accomplishment, satisfaction, and maybe just appreciation for the journey. Um, you know, it's also wonderful for me to watch him with my daughter who was an only child and and for them to go do things together, you know, him and his girlfriend and and her and her husband to be able to go do things and enjoy life together, you know, there's just a satisfaction there for me to see that for him and for his life. So, I love it. But I used to say when I was younger, and this is quoted in some magazine, but if I was if I can just help one person uh before I die, I left the world a better place. Darren, you left the world a better place by helping that one individual. And you've helped multiple, but really that one child that got to see that gets to see now life very differently than so many others. We talked about half a million kids in the in the foster care system and and statistically not a lot of them. Uh big percentage doesn't really cross that line to see success. Darren, you have been a part of somebody's success in their life. So, we thank you so much for the work that you do and the organization continues to do. It's been a pleasure for you just giving us this time this morning to have this conversation and enlighten people what it actually looks like on the other side because you've been one to adopt yourself. So, we thank you for the conversation. We hope that you guys are still watching. Make sure you guys do like, subscribe, comment, check out the website, figure out how you can also be more um involved when it comes to the foster system and to into just helping kids really flourish through their lives when um the odds are against them. Dan, we thank you. My name is Ephrain. This is the Heart and Hustle Podcast. We'll catch you in the next one. Lers.