The Conversation That Turned One Family's Pain Into a National Nonprofit

[0:16]  We're back on the Heart and Hustle Podcast. We have Miss Heather. How you doing, Miss Heather?

[0:18]  Great, how are you?

[0:21]  I'm good. We were just yapping before we even got started. And I was like, my God, we got to hit record and hit the podcast. There were so many good things that we could really talk about. I would say, Heather, before you get to this and you were doing running an organization, I want to go back to what you just said, who was Heather?

[0:37]  Yeah, good question. I love that question actually. I always say when I tell my story, I had big plans, right? Like I was gonna get married at 30, solve generational poverty, I was working in the city, all of the things. met my husband at 18, married him at 19. And

[0:55]  Wow.

[0:55]  yeah, and then you know, he went into the military. And so I always wanted to be just a person that genu genuinely cares for other people, that shows up for other people. And We were blessed with three kids and then we were introduced to our youngest daughter who we adopted and she was 10 months old and she's amazing. She's 25 right now. and I think that I'm on my tombstone, if you ask what I could be known for. It would be, you know, a person of big faith, a wife, a mother, and now I get the privilege I've lived long enough to be a Grammy, and those are the things I'm most proud of.

[1:34]  Love that. I I actually want to go back to you said your husband joined the military. Did

[1:38]  Yeah.

[1:38]  you find that challenging? You know, every time I I s kind of see those relationships, I can't imagine not being with my wife, you know, that far apart. What would that look like?

[1:49]  Yeah. So I don't and I had never been around military. Like I'm not from a military family. I had never even been on a base before I met met my husband. Didn't know the rules.

[1:57]  Mm-hmm.

[1:58]  And as you know me, the little bit you do, rules, I don't like rules. And so I remember

[2:01]  Ha ha ha.

[2:02]  one time I was bringing him lunch and we were married like a day literally, and I didn't know, I mean, think about it, before nine eleven and everything, I didn't know you had to stop and show the little sticker on your car. So I just drove right through. There was no line. Well, lots of people came to greet.

[2:16]  my god.

[2:17]  So yeah, it was hard, but I also think it gave him great insight for what he wanted to do. He got his training and then he only stayed in the the four and a half years. So he never had to go out of the country for a really long time. So I know so many people sacrificed so much and they miss so much of their children's lives when they have to go overseas or to war or whatever. So he didn't have to do that. and he loved the military and loved serving our country. But he really the reason why he didn't re enlist is because he he wanted to be a full time, you know, dad that that didn't have to go out of the country.

[2:56]  Yeah, yeah. I was gonna ask that, like how was it f you know, parenting, but it seems like he he was willing to stay.

[3:01]  Yeah. So like he had to go away for like two weeks at a time, one time. And that seemed crazy to me when I was twenty two with the baby. You know what I'm saying? But yeah, he never had to do. So many people sacrifice so much for us, don't they?

[3:15]  Yeah, no, a hundred percent. And I I have friends that to this day military, you know, have made those sacrifices and I always think to myself, like, what does that feel like? You know, because as you mentioned, Heather, we're kind of been blessed opportunities to be at home, to really take care of our kids. and the crazy part about it is that I don't know about your upbringing, but I didn't have that. So it's just cool to kind of re to not relive, but live something that I've never experienced.

[3:40]  Yes. So I ha I always say I grew up basically with like what we're giving our kids. I had the white picket fence family. My dad loved my mom, all of the things. My husband is you. He is living experiences that he never had. And he reminds me so much of you because like even when like our oldest son got married, he's sitting in the front row and he he gets tears in his eyes and I go, You did it. You broke the generational curse. Like you did it. And and you know, now that we get to be these grandparents to these amazing little boys and all of that. He appreciates every experience that he got to live as he's running a company, as he's doing all the things, things that he didn't grow up with is crazy.

[4:19]  Yeah. My two year old, just before we get live, he says, Dad, we're gonna change the future. He's two years old. And I'm like, What did you just say? We're gonna change the future. And I'll just put this big smile like, You're right, you are the future and we will change the future. it it is it is very cool to be on the side and sometimes the crazy part about it is that you're also kind of living through trauma, you

[4:41]  You are.

[4:42]  know, through it all as well. so you really start to find a lot about yourself.

[4:44]  You have to decide, but he'll tell you all the time, like, you know, things I didn't understand, right? Like I was like, Well,

[4:51]  Yeah.

[4:51]  you prayed for a family, we have my family now. Well, that doesn't erase everything that you dealt with, right? And so

[4:56]  Mm-hmm.

[4:56]  like we've had to learn through that and it is hard and it still gets hard. I mean, I mean, the first time our son was born, he was just like, How? I love him so much. Like, how isn't this for me? You know? It's a lot. But life

[5:10]  Yeah.

[5:10]  is beautiful when you work through the trauma. Trauma is hard and And it's very hard to figure it out, but look at the life you have now. It's worth it. Everything that's super hard is uphill, don't you think?

[5:22]  Yep. No, a hundred percent. If it was easy, everyone would do it.

[5:25]  Amen.

[5:25]  Yeah. Very and and and I was actually having a conversation earlier because life be life and I'd be saying Heather. And I don't know that I've said this because it just kind of recently happened, but I'm adopted, right? So kudos when you say adopted, I always always love that about someone that you were willing to take on that. But my biological mom is currently in ICU. She's in the coma. Never had a relationship with her. But I just found out, you know, she got hit by a car and turned up bleeding and I'm like, What what do I do? You know what I mean? Like I I don't know where I kinda stand. I've called brothers and sisters and everyone has their own had their own relationship and everyone has their own opinion. And it's like I've never wanted a relationship, but I wanted her to see the other side because she's been homeless and a drug addict, you know, most of her life. and And I just don't know where I show up, right? But then I kind of see where I'm at in my life and it's like, man, I'm just grateful where I am today, you know, because life could have repeated itself. So when I do see my son saying that to me. Mm-hmm.

[6:33]  Mm.

[6:33]  Mm-hmm. Yeah. And and people don't realize that, right? Like people don't talk about foster kids or adoptions unless you're living it. And I actually want to go into how did you get into that world? Well you had your own kids and then

[6:49]  Yeah.

[6:50]  you adopted someone. What made you want to get into that space?

[6:53]  So when I was in high school and in middle school, I started a reading program for inner city kids called the Clubhouse. And I loved them so much. I just loved the the they were so excited to be there and the fact that they were so excited. But you know, I still had no idea what would come of that. I definitely think for me personally, it you know, God had different plans for for my life. And so when we got home, we had just had our youngest and she was like, let's say 15 months. I might be off by a few months at a time. She was fifteen months at the time. And my mom's neighbor's a midwife who delivered this sweet baby and she said, Heather, you know so many people, this young mom is dying of stage four breast cancer. Gotta even get emotional. and she's looking for a home for her eight month old baby. And I was like, my gosh. And I couldn't sleep. And and you know, I don't I don't even know why when I look back at I talked to my husband about everything. He is my best friend. But I couldn't sleep and I didn't say anything. And I'm waking and I'm envisioning this mom couch surfing while she has stage four cancer with an eight-month-old baby. And so then

[8:01]  Mm-hmm.

[8:01]  I called some people that were struggling with infertility and they were interested in this baby. And I did not love that. And so I just begged my husband, he's like, What's wrong with you? It's been a week. You haven't slept. And I go, Can we just meet her? Can we meet her? So I call her up and I say, Alexis. We're gonna meet at the back of the parking lot of the grocery store. And I'm looking forward to it. You know, I am I've been praying for you, all the things. And, you know, this is two thousand two. Two thousand two. And she has so there's no social media, is my point. I had no idea what she looks like. I I have no

[10:28]  Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.

[11:24]  idea, you know, I knew where she lived of that. And so she gets off the bus and I think this has to be her. And we're in the back and I call her and I'm like, in the red minivan in the back of the parking lot. And She gets off the bus and I said, Steve, we'll just help her with groceries and try to figure it out. We gotta figure out how to get her to treat and all the things. And she and she, I think this is her. She has a black pleather mini skirt on, a black tight shirt, and a neon pink wig. And she walked, Evran, with authority, like, this world has been hard on me and I'm gonna make this right. She's maybe 99 pounds sop and wet. Like maybe. And she just walked

[13:13]  Yeah.

[13:14]  over there and my stomach is in, I mean, even telling you my stomach is in knots and in knots. And And I'm like, she's gonna wanna hug me. I've talked to her for a week, like, I need to hug her. And I go like this and open my arms wide and wait for her to hug me. And she walked straight by me, this close to me, straight by me, did not make eye contact with me, walked straight up to my husband and she said, I'm dying and I need my baby to have a better life than me. That was it. We went in the grocery store, we bought some groceries, we put her in the van, we took her home. And the next day we got an attorney to start the proceedings. And I took her to treatment the next day, Alexis. She's 23 years old at this point. Okay, 23 with stage four cancer and doesn't have a ride to treatment and doesn't have a permanent address.

[14:14]  Well

[14:14]  Raised in a million different foster care homes, herself, Alexis was. So I pick her up and take her to treatment the next day and then and then they're like, you decided to show up today? That's how they talk to her. You decided to show up today. And I was like, She has no car, she has no this. Mind you, I'm twenty nine, okay? We're barely making it. My you know what I mean? We have

[14:42]  Yeah.

[14:42]  kids. It's not like we're lifestyles of the rich and famous, but I didn't have to worry if my kids were gonna have food on the table and we always had insurance.

[14:53]  Mm-hmm. Is that how you and I that's how I'm guessing you start Pink Ribbon.

[14:59]  So yeah. yeah. So we adopt her. We take care of her mom. five weeks later, we we get permanent custody of her, which is unheard of. You know how slow the court system is, but

[14:59]  Yep, yep.

[14:59]  they put expedited it because of the mom's health. And that mom, who think about everything that you've been through, you know, didn't have the best track record with her other kids, just being blunt, sat at that courtroom and said, I want my baby in front of a judge to have a better life than me. I want her to be with them. Okay. So we adopt her and then we take her to treatment for the next year. And it was rough. I mean, she went in and out of going to treatment. I couldn't find her at times. All of the things that from your life you can imagine happened. Okay. But she got one more Christmas with Lexi. She got, you know, we got to take her over to visit Le Alexis. And then one day we came home from church and there was a man standing at my door that said, I hadn't heard from her in two weeks. But at that point the treatment was kind of almost non existent. And I you know she didn't have a cell phone or anything at that time. And so, he said she's in hospice and you need to you know, we don't think she has much time. So Steve and I took the other kids to my parents and we took Lexi to see her. And she was coherent and she just thanked us and she said, Please you know, she was scared to die, all the things. And then She said, Heather, you need to make sure young women do breast exams. they get breast cancer. And I thought to myself, I don't know anyone young with breast cancer beside you. I've never even heard of this. How pompous of me to think that, seriously. And so she passed away three days later. It's still the hardest death I've ever seen in my life. And she was scared and all of the things, but she got to hug her baby. And a year and a half later, I Lexi would finally stay with my parents. She had some neglect issues. We really had to work through, and she hated anyone but me. And so she would finally stay with my parents. And I went away for our 12th anniversary, did my first ever self-breast exam, found a lump, and four days later I was diagnosed with the exact same kind of breast cancer as Lexi's mom. ERPR negative, her two positive. And it was the most aggressive kind of breast cancer at the time that we knew about. And I was so mad. So mad. How could in my mind, God tell to adopt this baby? How did my other three kids along with Lexi just watch this young mom die? And now I'm gonna die right in front of them. And Lexi's gonna lose two moms before she goes to kindergarten.

[15:02]  Well.

[15:02]  But guess what? All these people showed up for me. I had everything that she didn't. They brought meals, they took my kids to pee-wee football practice, they created they Would stop and pick up my laundry. I would be sick in bed and my laundry would show up folded. That's a totally different ballgame than most people have. And I still hated the pink ribbon. And I am almost 20 in March I'll be 22, 22 years cancer free. And

[15:03]  Let's go.

[15:03]  yeah, and PRG's about 14 years old. So it's not like I just started this right away. I was scared of the pink ribbon. I hated it. And I was scared that my kids would feel like that's all they had if I died. And I fright I was afraid the cancer would come back. But one of my biggest mentors and her husband was in the NFL and we went to treatment together right before she passed away. She said to me, Heather, don't use my death as an excuse. You know your purpose. And I went home and I wrote a grant for PRG to provide three meals a week for your entire family, house cleaning essentials, rides to treatment, and peer support. And I knew we wouldn't get the grant because you don't get a grant unless you have proven track record and sustainability. And we had a pipe dream. But I wrote it to check off that I honored Stephanie's legacy. And a month later it was announced on the Ellen DeGeneres show that we got the grant. It was $45,000. And it I had to match it by $45,000. And I was like, my gosh, I don't know how to cook. I don't know how to get the meals delivered. I don't know this. And so on my business plan in my journal, I said, okay, God, this is what I want to do. I I don't want to work more than ten hours a week in case my cancer came back. I couldn't be working all the time. I wanted

[15:05]  Mm-hmm. Yeah.

[15:05]  to know every single patient we served so their kids wouldn't be scared like my kids were. And I wanted to spend all the money that Steve and I had going on vacation so that when I died, Steve's second wife couldn't go on vacation. That was my entire business plan.

[15:43]  Wow.

[15:43]  So we get into like month four and we've now served like 400 meals and we have all these people that need a right to ride to treatment and we didn't know how to get them there. I'm using like software from a freight company that's trying to figure out how I pick your wife up here and get her here and how I pick this person up and get her here. And I remember talking to someone at the largest nonprofit in America and I said, I need you to help me provide the rides. And they said to me, You'll never make it. We do a volunteer pace basis, but it just doesn't work. You're never going to make it. And I looked at them and I said, Lexi's mom wrote home on a bus and I'm gonna figure this out. So we did this, we figured out driving people in vans that were donated by dealerships. And we still do that in a lot of cities in Ohio, but obviously when you have a hundred people that need a ride to the same place, you can't get them all there. And so that's when we started partnering with Uber Health and stuff like that. If you fast forward to like How we grew bigger in 2018. Lexi was being recruited for Division One Soccer. Clearly, when you look at me, you can tell I'm not a Division One athlete. I was

[15:59]  Yeah.

[15:59]  asking about Division One sports. And we flew from Cincinnati to Phoenix. And I said, You're in a cult. If we're gonna fly from Cincinnati to Phoenix for soccer, clearly we're in a cult. Okay. And Ephraim, all the parents are out there with their camcorders and their this, and I'm on my laptop, 300 emails deep in. I'm like, I'm failing at everything. My husband's with Kara, the other, my other daughter at basketball. And I texted him and I said, I'm failing at everything. I'm failing as a wife. I'm failing as a mom. And PRG meals are exploding. And and Steve, you should have come here. Everyone has their cameras. I don't know what I'm doing. So she plays awesome. We get back at the airport and I said, Don't bother me for 45 minutes, Lexi. I am I am 400 emails deep. And just for the ones that like meals exploding, like not even like real emails, right? And Five minutes later she comes over and she says, Mom, can I have five dollars for Starbucks? And I'm like, Here, take my card. And this guy sitting beside me goes, Did you adopt her? And I was like, Clearly. And he said, Tell me your story.

[17:02]  What

[17:02]  And I'm like, my God, I'm 400 emails deep and I am I have no time for this. And you know I talk to anyone. So I tell him as fast as I can. And he says, You are never gonna believe this. I am the VC for the guy who started Amazon, sold sold it the software to Amazon so Amazon could sell more than books. We're working on AI for breast cancer right now. We're gonna wanna work with you. I was like, went over, told my parents, never gonna hear from this guy. My dad's like, this is gonna change PRG forever. I'm like, Dad, I'm never gonna hear from that guy. This was in May of 2018, and in August of 2018, my phone rings at 10 p.m. and it says, Neil, Phoenix Airport. That's how I put him in my phone. And I said, It's 10 p.m., I'm not answering this. And my husband's like, you should answer. And he's like, Heather, I have Rakesh on the other line. We need you to fly to wash you tomorrow and tell your story. We're getting ready to pitch X, Y, and Z. I live in the middle of a cornfield at this point, okay? And they're like, We're sending a car to pick you up. You and I'm thinking, I go, I have to think about this. Like I get off the phone. It's 10 p.m. My stomach's hurting. And my husband said, Did you look him up? I go, I think he can't hurt me, Steve. He's pretty little. He goes, Heather, I think he's worth tons of money. You need to get on the plane. Like you were made for this. I was like, I go to sleep. It's a midnight or one at this point. The car gets there at 5 a.m. Okay, a car. That's that's just hilarious to me, just so you know. At five, a four thirty, my kids will still talk about it. We get in one of our biggest fights. I'm like, I'm not going. Columbus is failing, meals are exploding. I'm not cut out for this. I'm not going. Go tell the car I'm not going. He's screaming at me. He's like, You, this is your purpose. You were made for this. Get in the flipping car. I load up in my little suitcase. I cry the entire way to the Cincinnati airport. I'm not a crier when it's not cancer. It's an hour and a half, too, to get to the airport. But when I got there and I landed, I just decided, you know what? I'm going for it. So I get there. This is my first time meeting Rakesh. I walk into the fancy hotel and I just said, listen, clearly you brought me because you're a billionaire, trying not to look like you're trying to make more billions. So if I go in there and make you look good and tell my story, you're gonna open your Rolodex and you're gonna help me be able to serve all people. And he said, deal. And we walked in. So here we are.

[19:11]  Well, there's so many questions I have for you. One is where does the fight come from? Right? You've been fighting most of your life. Two is what do you learn from that moment? Because Heather, I had a similar experience. Talk about wrestling, right? I remember getting a call on a Sunday or email, Sunday night. I wrote this email months ago, just reaching out all these wrestling companies. I wanted to do media, I wanted to do media. I get up eight o'clock at night on a Sunday. saying, hey, can you be in Boston by Tuesday? I literally all I could think of is I canceled all my meetings. I'm now having to move my podcast mobile. I'm buying equipment. I don't even I don't even have

[19:52]  Yeah, 'cause of course they're living on a screen like me.

[19:56]  I don't have a a hotel booked yet. I said my priority is I gotta get there first. I'll figure out everything when I get there. I land Monday morning with no hotel. with all this equipment that I have yet to open out of a box, get to this nastiest hotel, cause when I get there, there's only one hotel room left somewhere. I get there, there's stains all over the damn bed. It just it's nasty as stinks, all this, but I'm like, I got to be here. There's a reason. I'm opening up all this equipment trying to, you know, learn how to use it. I mean, fast forward, I was so excited at the end of this podcast, I'm interviewing the Hardies, that I just start unplugging stuff. The audio, I lost audio. Like I I was so beat and hurt. Like, I couldn't get out of the bed the next morning. Like I failed. my God. But Heather, there is something about that grit and that fight and a determination to do the things that you love and you felt you were called to do. Where in the world, Heather, who taught you that? Where does that come from?

[20:58]  I think I've had so many great people. My mom and dad have amazing grit. But I also think it's the fight. You and I have a similar fight that's so very different. We both I could cry saying this, because I'm in a fight right now. I mean, it's it's I'm I'm I'm feeling it right now with the service levels we need, with you know, growing employees. It feels hard now, harder maybe than it's ever felt. But the way I think you and I are very similar it with different fights, you had a fight to grow up. And live all of your childhood stuff. And I had the fight to not die. Again, I think it's a crapshoot that I didn't die, just to be honest with you. I think some of the greatest people I know still die. I will never understand. Okay. So I don't think I did anything special. I don't think I like was mentally stronger than other people. But I think where you and I are the same, as we know, it's a privilege to live this life.

[21:50]  Mm.

[21:50]  And it's a privilege that not everybody gets. And it's a privilege to break cycles and bring people along with you. And that's what keeps me going. I remember, I mean, you know, for my f for me, my friend Stephanie had it all. He was in the NFL. They were hi he they were in high high school sweethearts. You know, money wasn't an issue, all of the things. And Kansy doesn't care about that, you know? and I remember I hadn't seen them in a while, her, her her husband and their kids. And they played, her daughter played basketball at a tournament against my daughter. And I didn't come out of the bathroom. I cried the entire time. And I was like, why do I get to watch Kara? All she wanted to do was watch her daughter. And so I think her she always said, don't ever feel guilty. about living. The only way you can honor me and all the people who die or have trauma before us is to love your family, go home and make a difference. And that's what keeps me going in the hard times.

[22:53]  Yeah. It's hard. I was talking I was talking to

[22:57]  It's very hard. And and I felt like giving up. And I'm telling you, when I say this, I mean I think right now how I keep going, like you're a gift to me right now. This has been my hardest season at PRG. And I don't say that lightly.

[23:09]  Mm-hmm. Yeah, I was talking to a friend earlier today, and sometimes you don't realize it. And I said this out loud, and I'm like, damn, that's what it is. So putting on this event, right, I think it's one of the biggest events I've put on. And but also mentally has been one of the biggest events I've put on. Because

[23:27]  Yep. Yep.

[23:28]  in living it, I had so many people that wine and dine me and brought me to the table and said how they you know, this and this and the other and you're getting excited, like, this is gonna be easy, right? Like all these people that want to support. And then once I put on that plan, I said, okay, so this is what I need from you guys. And they all left. And they all just and today saying it, I realize it was the reason that I I I felt defeated. I felt like what am I doing? I felt like everything I felt when I was a kid. And it was

[24:02]  Mm-hmm.

[24:02]  that. It was the trauma of feeling alone, of feeling abandoned. And while these people didn't know that about me, it brought me to this place of who little Ephraim was. You know,

[24:12]  Mm-hmm.

[24:12]  and I have to remember who Ephraim is today and the why of Ephraim is

[24:14]  Yes, you do. Because you feel not good enough. You feel like you came from a place that shouldn't be doing things like this. And mentally that can rock you. I mean, I felt like recently we moved into this office. I have all these employees working out here. And I was like, did I move we were grew outgrew the other one. Did I move here to fail? That's why? Did I move to this new office to fail? Did we move

[24:33]  Yeah.

[24:33]  here to run out of money? Did we move here because it's hard and The demand is so high and how are we gonna figure this out in an in an economy and climate like this? I mean, that's where I was.

[24:48]  Yeah, the noise. How do you that's the noise, right? Is is the voices that get really loud. and sometimes we got to truly shut them down.

[24:56]  You do.

[24:57]  Have you I know you said you're in a moment now where the noise is probably loud, but this is not your first rodeo. I always say life is a roller coaster. How do you overcome s some of these things?

[25:08]  I get into funk for a little while. I think if I would be honest with you, I I I don't I'm not always doing it right. And and I find when I when I do, I don't know, mindless scrolling or whatever. And then finally I'm just like, okay, like we've made it through a hundred percent of our bad days. Right? You're still upright. So you've made it through

[25:24]  Mm-hmm. Yeah.

[25:25]  a hundred percent of the time. And it hasn't been easy. And then I just try to get my head back right. And I and I think so much of it for me, it's a it's a faith thing. So I get up. I I do my journaling and then I don't, right? Then I don't. That's the problem is it's always better when I do. And then I'll go weeks when the noise gets too loud and I don't do it. I don't want anyone to think I do it right all the time because I for sure don't. But I do think, I mean, a month ago I took a month, which is hard in our role, right? Like I have to constantly promote PRG, promote what we're doing. They wanna see me and when I'm interviewed and stuff like that. But I took a month and took off every ounce of social media of my phone. One month. My head is like totally different. And I can't do now. I'm busy season. This is where we raise all of our money. But

[26:00]  Yeah.

[26:00]  I took a month off and then I watched nothing on TV. So I read books. My husband and I played cards. I was a different human.

[26:18]  Yeah. I I jokingly ask my wife, how do I become a cocked potato? Like I just want to sit there because

[26:19]  Yeah. Yeah. Well so I wouldn't say I did that. I think, but my thing for the first time ever, I could actually have capacity on how to get through this. Capacity

[26:32]  Yeah.

[26:32]  on what you need to do for the event. Capacity for how can I offer this service to all cancers and not just breast and guyne. My brain actually worked because I wasn't filling it with busy and bullcrap.

[26:43]  Yeah. It's hard. Yeah.

[31:49]  And it's hard still.

[32:05]  Yeah. No, it's hard. and for those that are watching or listening, it's like it's it's going you know, someone told me something through through every actually it was my one of my clients, he said through every breakdown there's a breakthrough.

[35:14]  Yep.

[35:17]  You know, and I have to and those things that I have to tell myself. I and there was times when even when I took the leap of faith to leave my job that was the only money that was bringing in, because I told you my my wife's stay-home mom, I got a mortgage, I got kids,

[36:23]  Definitely. Right.

[36:28]  but I had to have faith and had to believe in myself. And I would go into my garage, because that's where my office was at the time, from nine to five, not understanding what the hell was on the other side. But I knew that I had to it was a compound effect, right? And continue to do that. And I had to quiet the noise. And I had to kind of, as you mean, reset the mind and talk to myself like Ephraim, you've done this before. Cause I've owned businesses before. I just never fully left the corporate world. And I was like, you've done this before, like you're in a dark tunnel, there's light at the end of it. Like literally have to talk to myself, you know, stop taking phone calls

[36:28]  Yes. I think still the top is the most important thing.

[36:28]  yeah, yeah.

[36:28]  And then you have to make sure you're surrounding people yourself. I mean, you know, my kids get so tired, but you really are like the top five people you hang out with. You are. You're the sum of the top five people you hang out with.

[36:28]  I remember a high school teacher saying that. So October second, I brought that teacher back to say thank you. Because while I was a knucklehead, I remember her saying that to me. And at that moment I didn't get it. But I quickly realized it when one of my good friends ends up five years in prison, number one wrestler in the state, but because he was around the wrong people, lost the opportunity of a lifetime. You know, and and I always say life happens for reasons, but I really also want to know where's Lexi today?

[36:28]  I know, I wanted her to come in, but she just left because she has to go do a media shoot with Jenny's ice cream. She's our social media manager. And so she left to go do marketing media with Jenny's Ice Cream and Fusion. Yeah,

[36:39]  So she's working for the organization.

[36:39]  yeah.

[36:39]  Wow.

[36:39]  Yeah. She's twenty five years old. She's the cutest thing you've ever seen. She's, you know, it's not easy. We went through a a lot. Both all four of my kids have gone to therapy and talked about it, you know, their own struggles. But like with Lexi, she's grown so much. And, you know, it's I'm sure not easy to be be different in a all white family. I'm sure it's not. But from the beginning, and I'm sure I didn't do things right. There are so many things I would have done differently that I didn't understand. Like, well, probably just to be quite honest, paid to get her hair done at a much younger age. That was crazy and foreign to me to spend that much money at it on a six year old. But I would I would have. And I tell her that all the time. But

[36:40]  Yeah.

[36:40]  but she is doing so awesome. The hard part, Efran, is that both of my girls, they're twenty five and twenty four, have to get screened for breast cancer and it's been scary. And both like, you know, they've found images or like shadows and then we have to do more screening and mentally I can barely handle that. And that's just happened right now in the last cause, you know, think about it. So Lexi had her birth twenty fifth birthday on August twenty first. So she lived one year longer than her mom.

[36:40]  That's the crazy part when you when you think about that. Mm so my two year old, I remember having him in clean his room. He was the only tipping tendril. So I put him in his room and he's crying, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy. I was taken from my mom at two years old. So

[36:41]  Is it?

[36:41]  all I can think about in that moment when he's yelling, it's like, damn, I was probably yelling the same thing and

[36:41]  Yep. Yep.

[36:41]  I it wasn't there. Sexual abuse around five years old. My daughter's five. So I go back into that mindset of like, damn, I could even imagine, you know, fathom that right now. You know, and it's like you continue, you're going to go through these cycles in your life and you don't even realize it sometimes that the trauma is going to come at you like, you know, a brick wall at times and you don't even you're you're not ready for it at times.

[36:41]  It's mm-hmm.

[36:41]  You don't know where in your life mentally you're going to be. But it goes back to that's why we do the work that we do today. That's why we surround ourselves with the people that we surround ourselves. That's why We care so much because even today had to be reminded, a lot of the times I'm like, why am I doing this at this nonprofit, at this school where these leaders don't care? And it's like battling. Like I I I don't need to do this. You know what I'm saying? Ephraim, it's not about you.

[36:42]  It's not.

[36:42]  You know, it's about the and I always say it myself, but it it's it is about that little Ephraim, right? It is about that little Lexi that that is going through something like that, that she gets to see representation. Cause I always say The stories that we tell is not just about the colors of our skin, but truly inspiring someone by those stories. Because you mentioned you have a a a black daughter, a white family. It doesn't matter about the color of our skins. It's those stories that we share that empower people, that inspire and provide hope. And Heather, you've done that now for years. And that's and I know that's why it's so hard sometimes because you realize like I could sit here probably, you know. Sail off and and be okay, me and my family. But that's not good enough for me. You know, it is the future.

[36:42]  Mm-hmm. Yep, you could. I know. Because that's not what you were called to do. That's not your purpose. You're giving every foster

[36:42]  purpose.

[36:42]  care kid in foster care hope that that that they can get out of this.

[36:42]  Yeah. And that's how I think about it. I and that's why I think it's important to share stories. It's

[36:42]  A detail.

[36:42]  important. I I thought it was really important that we do this. I think

[36:42]  Metsia.

[36:42]  I told you about an and I actually called her as soon as I spoke to you on

[36:42]  Yes.

[36:42]  the discovery call. I called her and I'm gonna actually call her back again today. But when I called her, she says E Frane. So I told you that she was going through it. When I called her that day, she says I'm celebrating my son's year birthday. I'm so overwhelmed. Right? A year before that she was battling canceled through. pregnancy.

[36:43]  Right, right.

[36:43]  You know what I mean? Like there's stories out there. And I'll tell her, you got to share that story. There's a testimony in that. You know, people will take that story and realize that they're not alone and that they'll it gives them the fight. Everything that we've said today is to give people fight.

[36:52]  Right. I agree. And I think it give people hope, a glimmer of hope and a hard time. I mean, somebody did that for us, right?

[36:55]  Mm-hmm. Yeah. I I that's why I I look at it.

[36:56]  So proud of you and all you're doing.

[36:57]  I'm proud of what you're doing too, Heather. And and you're still got so much more to go to be quite frank. And I don't even know that we've really been able to talk about all the services that you guys offer. Did you wanna tap into some of the things

[37:04]  You want to pass a lot of roof on the so we offer three meals a week for your entire family, house cleaning essentials that are non-toxic cleaning supplies that come directly to your house. Peer support is so important because you want to feel like you are not alone. And rides to treatment. So we give up to 60 rides to treatment, which is crazy. Also, 40% of our patients can't get to treatment. They have no other way to get there without us. So, you know, where I'm at right now is trying to figure out the scaling and how to fund all of that for more places in this in the United States. We're in eight states right now, eight regions, and we're trying to figure out the next steps. But yes, that's what we offer. And we have this community that I can't even explain to you. We have a hundred and ten pink trucks all over the road. Those people support us. They bring us money, but they bring us community and they show up for our people when they're at their hardest, their hard hardest moment. And it is truly such a privilege to be in this this PRG family. It really is.

[37:05]  And community itself is important. I talk about my wrestling community. You

[37:05]  It is.

[37:05]  talk about the pink ribbon community, right? It truly makes us feel like we're a part of something and that someone cares. When

[37:05]  Yes. Agreed.

[37:05]  a time when me and you d may not have that, we wanted to make sure that we can provide that for the next person. That

[37:05]  Yes, I know.

[37:05]  is so important. So important. what is the website? What is the website and it actually is this only local? Is this something that you guys are expanding to do something nationwide or?

[37:05]  All in all of Ohio, Missouri, Kentucky, Tennessee, Buffalo, New York, San Francisco. and our website is pinkribbinggood.org. And our socials are Pink Ribbon Good on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, all the socials. I don't I forget the TikTok, probably that.

[37:05]  That's not your job. That's not your job. You delegated that part. You delegated the part.

[37:05]  Yeah. And yeah, and Lexi is such a gift and and you know, to this day I mean her and Kara are best friends. They're closer than most sisters could ever be. And she she's a gift.

[37:06]  my god. I love it. Yeah, I can't wait to meet her. Yeah.

[37:06]  I can't wait for you to meet her. We're gonna ha I'm gonna come when I come to Florida and visit my parents.

[37:06]  Yeah. Where are they in Orlando?

[37:06]  Mm-hmm.

[37:06]  I think you told me that. wow. So yeah, we definitely gotta have lunch or something. Snow your snowbirds. Got it. Got it. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[37:06]  Only in the winter though, remember, only in the winter. Yeah, they are. Yeah. Yeah.

[37:06]  Well listen, thank you so much, Heather, for just being authentically you. I think that's also important is that we be authentically us, right? Don't sugarcoat anything. we never get anything across if we're not being us. And Heather, the reason that you got these opportunities was because you never lost yourself on who you were at the airport, at a game. Like that's who you were. And because you authentically showed up every single time someone noticed you. And I think that's important. And I love that even for myself, I try to always show up authentically me. When people tell me that I gotta be in a suit and tie, or I gotta be this, I gotta be that. Even when you says Ephraim, I'm about to be comfortable in a seat. Yeah, girl, be comfortable. Like be you

[37:06]  more laugh than I that I emailed you yesterday. Is this video like, do I do I wear my dirty hair Friday or should I brush my hair?

[37:07]  Listen, I like I had I gotta get a hair I had to get a haircut I was looking rough, so you know, I didn't brush it. It's so easy now, is I just gotta do this right one of these right here, Heather. I'm I'm good in the morning. But thank you so much. Thank you

[37:07]  That's awesome. Thank

[37:07]  for being an inspiration, thank you for just being truly you and I I can't wait to see what else you guys continue to do. You'd mentioned you know, multiple locations, but next thing you know, work throughout the United States. So if you

[37:07]  That's

[37:07]  guys Yeah, if you guys haven't already, make sure that you guys check out the website, make sure that you guys check out Heather. I'm Efrain. This is the one and only doing the amazing things, Miss Heather. If you guys wanna go ahead and tap in with her as well. We'll catch you guys at the next one. Later.