How Childhood Mental Health Shapes Future Leaders

[0:00]  when we look at a parent's ability to stop and reflect on what's Happening especially as it relates to their child in that moment they're able to make better decisions about how to respond kids feel that and the impact of that those cumulative effects of of that kind of emotionally unavailable parenting where children don't feel psychologically safe with their parents is um is traumatic it absolutely is traumatic and so for for parents to really just learn how to flex that muscle how to work it out and and begin to think about what's going on wonder a lot gee I wonder what's going on with them I wonder why she's doing that and what do I need to do how should I respond because I can promise you if I responded to my kids the way I really wanted to it would not be pretty and if

[0:48]  you don't have a solid foundation within your home to really have conversations about what they're saying and what they're reading and what um how they're being influenced they can really take a wrong turns so again we come back to family communication how involved our parents in knowing what their children are looking at how they're thinking spending time with them and really opening up those conversations and it's hard to do all right guys welcome back to a brand new episode of the heart and hustle podcast now today is going to be an

[1:35]  incredibly important episode because I am sitting down across from the president and CEO of the Florida Center Center for Early Childhood now Christie is an expert in this space because she spent 30 plus years of experience as a mental health professional we're going to talk about the changing landscape of Early Childhood mental health we're going to talk about some ideas like technology and how it's impacting our society we're also going to talk about leadership we're going to talk about the changing structure of our community we're going to talk about the role of early intervention and research in shaping future generations and then we're really going to kind of take a deeper dive into Christy's story Christy welcome to the show oh I am so glad to be here talking about something I love so much so it's an honor my question for

[2:23]  you to get started is anything that is work related is out of bounds How would person who's sitting across from me right now be described that's you I think no the person sitting across from me in this digital table so my guest the person there's nobody sitting across from me in this in this digital landscape of what we're doing right now across the digital table how would christe be described work work is out of bounds see I'm so literal um how would I be described oh dear so I have to think about how others would describe me um cool Under Pressure probably is is um a good listener yeah why cool Under Pressure um why cool Under Pressure I don't know I

[3:13]  think I have a it's it's a superpower that I've I've not always been cool Under Pressure but um I tend to get into my zone when I'm problem solving right I tend to just go to go to let's figure this out the sky is not following unless it literally is there's nothing that we've ever been through in our lives that we haven't gotten through we can figure this out right so I just um I think it's probably my temperament I don't know but they my staff joke and tell me that I probably go home I must go home and take it out on my husband or my kids or something because I they don't know where it all goes to but that does not happen I was sitting across the table this virtual table from another leader yesterday um her name is Porsche James and she is the CEO and founder of a

[4:01]  company called Behavior genius and we were talking about the character traits of a leader right especially somebody who is a CEO and often we look at challenges from the outside as things that we have to overcome but great leaders look at them as opportunities now when we think about the opportunities that are in front of us when we're talking about serving childhood mental health what is the biggest opportunity that your organization and the work that you do is trying trying to solve wow you asked some really good question that that's a that's a good one um it's a big one we are we're just trying to ensure that children that need our services whatever those are because we Ser we have a lot of services young children um that they have the best start that they have the

[4:50]  best opportunity to be their best selves whatever that looks like for them and to give their parents the tools to be able to support them so we we have a lot of parents that show up with their own histories and backgrounds that's really important in early childhood mental health because young children can't make changes unilaterally they we require and it's absolutely necessary that the parents be a part of the um whatever the treatment plan is whatever whatever is is decided jointly that um we recommend right to help children they have to be a part of it and part of that is deciphering and kind of unpacking what their story is what did they bring to the table as as mom as Dad as grandma as foster parent as whoever um and and they so once we

[5:40]  unpack that there's a lot of parent work that that's involved so um it's easier said than done um in many cases but we want to make sure the family is set up and that these kiddos have the best opportunity to be their best selves they're going to be the ones taking care of us at some point so there's a really powerful lens of accountability that in that right because when I think about where we come from we have so many stories that we've overcome we've buried within us we've tried to ignore but often later in life I think it's easy for a lot of adults to understand that the experiences that we have when we're a child the traumas that we've been through often have a way of coming out of us and we're imprinting those projections or those ideas on little ones is that correct or what are we talking about here yeah oh yeah our our past what we've experienced in our life

[6:29]  is not way back there right it's it's with us we carry it with us every day and if we can't connect to that past and see how it's impacted us it's going to be hard for us to parent I don't think many many parents I've I've grown to to learn that you know if if adults are in relationships with one another that's easy to understand but then to think about us being in relationship with our child right that you're bringing two two people together and you know when you have kids you get what you get you don't really get to tailor you know decide what you're getting and sometimes there's mismatches there's temperament uh differences and and um you know if we have our own story of abuse neglect

[7:19]  whatever that may be it's going to impact how we raise our child so it's really important for parents to reflect on that and really buy into that notion that who we are um and our experiences impact who we are as parents and um and it's it's an honor that parents trust us trust me trust our our staff to support them in the journey to help their child is it sometimes surprising when a family comes to you and says we're looking to support our child right they're having some mental health issues some complications and then you kind of say okay but in order to First understand what's happening with your child we have to go back to kind of like a first principal perspective and start asking questions like how do you feel about

[8:06]  feelings is that kind of like an interesting perspective and dynamic that you have to navigate sometimes it is and setting up that um if we just go into saying okay great you know now you start telling me about your history and we don't set it up and and help the parent understand how very important their role is um they're not going to well I didn't come here for me I came here for my kid right and so for has to set it up this is how this is T typically looks right we we listen we understand the the presenting issues that you you sought services for the way that we navigate that is to really understand you we want to build a relationship with that parent get there Buy in understand who they are because who they are is is really important in in the in relationship to their child and you know with Early

[8:53]  Childhood mental health and I'm talking about like 0er to five you know that's a really foreign idea to some people it's a niche right and um Although our organization serves children through Elementary School we have a heavy focus on birth to five and when you think about those first five years and I know we're going to get into some of that but those are critical times in our lives you know if we all sat down and looked at our first five years of life a lot of what we know is either because we've been told or we remember some experiences but it's important for parents to really unpack that for themselves then look at really the first five years and then beyond that um and then now they're a parent and um and how how that impacts their child and then kind of you know we all like predictability we like to know what's

[9:40]  coming next so to help them understand that it it really sets it you know like okay I get this it's not a surprise that we want to sit down and talk to you and get to know you and unpack your story around 30 years of experience as a licensed mental health professional I want to know how did you get on this path because I don't have a lot of experience talking to leaders like you that have so much experience specifically in an area like this and I really think it's important for the audience to understand what were some of your origin stories that pushed us down this path well I'll tell you the way I got into Early Childhood mental health is very simple a door opened and I walked through it it it was happen stance I didn't go to graduate school and say I want to study infant mental health and early childhood mental health

[10:27]  there are now programs specific to that but at at the time I went to school um back in you know the N the early 90s it was there wasn't it was just mental health you go to school to get a psychology degree or a degree in counseling or what have you and um so I got my degree and then um I needed a job I moved down to uh South Florida where I am now and um needed a job and I got a job here and I never left and and you know I kind of say you get bit by that early childhood bug and you see there's so much opportunity with the young ones um you can really change their lives forever you know you work with the first five years and you can change five change five generations I mean that's really that it's that it's that simple and so I just never left I started absorbing it and really getting you know

[11:16]  honing in my skill and and my Niche and I I knew that I wanted to help people but I didn't really know in what capacity whether it's marriage and family or adults I just didn't know but um and and most most clinicians don't when they get out of graduate school they just want a job and they don't really know what what area some do but a lot of them don't they just they land somewhere and this is where I landed and I'm very grateful for it I love the fact that we're talking about getting ahead of the problem and I feel like especially in you being in South Florida right I have an interesting Com or question about like culture and I want to use myself as kind of an example of this so I came from a mixed family my father is black my mother is white and it's very interesting to see how those

[12:04]  two different cultures approach topics like mental health in my mom's family she came from a solid foundation a household with a mom and a dad an older brother and a younger sister a child of three didn't really struggle for things and didn't have a lot of complications when it came to her family members experiencing mental health issues My Father's Side a completely different story the other side of the tracks was drug abuse was an inconsistent home was terrible examples of what family members were doing getting in trouble going to jail death all this different type of stuff and often the conversation about mental health was we don't talk about those things outside of the household or that is how your Uncle Terry is that's how they are that's just how he is so how do we navigate some of those cultural differences when we're talking about an early childhood mental health

[12:53]  issue do we ever come across any type of cultural conflicts and then how do you navigate some of those conversations as well culture is is is Hallmark it is a part of the conversation from day one if I'm sitting in a room with somebody that looks very different than me or even if they look like me but they have a religion that's very different than than mine whatever the cultural differences are those have to be addressed and noticed right away we we don't want to just kind of not acknowledge those things right so if I'm sitting in front of a a black woman or a black man of mother father and I'm going to notice that right away like I'm a white woman right and I know that a lot of um a lot of black people have been they they feel like the um systems

[13:44]  have worked against them they have biases against people that look like me I want to acknowledge that and make sure that it's not something that is just kind of I'm so I'm too afraid to Broach that topic and you know someone like me it it's taken time right to to kind of get to that comfortable space where I can say that I mean it's been a while but um I'm absolutely comfortable now but I think um you know getting past the discomfort and just saying you know we're different and I want to make sure that you're comfortable with me and that that there are things that you know you can teach me and your perspective is really helpful and understanding I mean culture is huge I mean we have cultures where you don't speak about feelings it's a weak it's a sign of weakness and you don't talk about those things you

[14:31]  just pull up you know just put on pull up your boot bootstraps and keep keep pushing and um and if that's a place that you're coming from I need to honor and respect that but I also want to kind of I want to I know poke at that a bit right and challenge some of those thoughts because children all need the same thing all children it doesn't matter where they come from who their parents are what religion they are it they all need the same thing they need to be heard they need to know that their emotions matter and if you have a mom or dad that doesn't have feelings about you know they have negative feelings about feelings then they're not their emotions are not going to matter they're going to tell them to quit crying they're going to tell them to quit being scared there's no monsters that you know children need to feel like they're understood and that their emotions are valid so um we poke at that and it takes

[15:19]  longer sometimes you know with some families where you really have strong cultural beliefs I was just on a call yesterday with a group of clinicians I do some consultation work around the state and um there was a case presentation on a family from Haiti where um that lives in South Florida and and they had have really strong cultural beliefs that you do not talk about mental health you don't talk about your feelings you just keep on moving we're not talking about that and so um it's it's real but it's you know you got to name it to tame it if you will right and so when you when you speak the Unspeakable you you talk about things that are that are uncomfortable um people realize that are that are sitting in front of of you they realize you have hands that can hold anything you can hold the the hardest of conversations and be supportive and understanding even

[16:06]  if it you know it's something that I personally don't agree with and that's why the mental health field requires something called supervision because we're humans helping humans and um I have feelings right I have biases I have families that may frustrate me um I have you know beliefs about certain things and if I feel whatever I may be feeling um or if I get to a place where I'm stuck I need to be able to process that with someone and and for them to challenge me about my my biases my beliefs Wonder more about why something might be happening why I might be feeling a certain way so I can be the best I can be for the families this is this is great um because this is turning up a whole bunch of I would say almost like intuitive feelings that I have you know one of the things I talk about here

[16:52]  on the podcast is I have an extreme responsibility to continue to push my family lineage forward my great-grandfather was a sharecropper in Arkansas my grandfather born in the United States in the 1930s as a black man was discriminated against for the color of his skin my father came from a broken household in a family structure that was not consistent but took it upon himself to take a risk become an entrepreneur and put me in a position to do things that none of them could ever imagine and when I think about the look at that explosion perf when I think about um the elements of safety that have come along with each generation we were struggling previously just to make it by and just to be safe in the places where we lived now one of the things that I think about is like one of the last strongholds that we have to

[17:40]  overcome as heart men is the mental health blocks and the stories that we carry from generation to generation and I want to make it my personal mission to protect my children from some of these same stories and experiences that we've had and a large part of that comes with an understanding of why I do certain things why why my father acted in a certain way and unpacking all of that so I don't pass along those subconscious examples if that makes sense and I just love that we're having this conversation because I feel like the pandemic especially right created a conversation around mental health more so than ever maybe an awareness but now we're in the position where people are willing to do the work that is necessary to I would say untether from all these invisible chains that continue to like

[18:27]  drag us down as families does that make sense 100% yeah you know I what what you're sharing is um wisdom right of of and reflection on what's come before and knowing what your family history is what your lineage tells you um and and not kind of you know just suppressing some of it or pushing some of it down but also looking at the how hard your family has worked to get to where they are and the benefits that you have reaped because of that right so you know there's there was a study years ago called the aces study which you may have heard about um the adverse childhood experiences study and and you know when we when we think about

[19:15]  Aces um and and your Ace score right it it tells you what your risk factors are but it it's not a determination of who you are right it's not it doesn't tell you like oh you're you're doomed man you got all these adverse factors you're you're really screwed right it just it's information that is powerful hey I have all of these adverse experiences my health is at risk because of these adverse Factor so what can I do to get ahead of that so knowledge is power and we can shift the the move the needle in the right direction if we have knowledge and we're willing to to do something um to to make sure that or do our best to make sure that we are heading in in the right direction I was listening to a podcast the other day and this guy was

[20:03]  talking about the biggest form of evil in today's world is ignorance when we truly seek to understand and we understand any type of conflict if that's with ourselves or with somebody else if you truly understand the person or the adversary on the other side it wouldn't be as easy for you to be as malicious and when I think about how we kind of demonize and stigmatize our feelings it's very easy to be malicious to those feelings because we don't truly understand them and they are scary and I feel like this entire process in itself is like an awareness exercise that helps us break down those misconceptions and barriers to truly understanding the motivations behind our Behavior I want to I want to talk a little bit about um a term called reflective capacity can you talk about this and let the let the audience know kind of what this is all

[20:50]  about yeah reflective capacity is is one's ability to really um just stop and and reflect on on what the current circumstances are and sometimes we reflect after the fact but then once we learn to reflect more in the moment um it it allows us to pause and think about all of the variables right so when we think about reflective practice reflective capacity when we look at a parents ability to stop and reflect on what's Happening especially as it relates to their child in that moment um they're able to make better decisions about how to respond when you know children they're going to frustrate us they're going to

[21:37]  do things that we look at and go oh my goodness that's embarrassing I'm embarrassed we're in the middle of who knows where and you're doing acting this way I'm so embarrassed if we in that moment if we stop and reflect wow I'm really making this about me in this moment and my embarrassment everyone's looking at me I need to shift from my my embarrassment to what does this child need in this moment what do they need and what should I do and that's you know in public we've all been there if we have kids we've all been embarrassed but also at home in the everyday life you know if your child's fussing about you know taking the dogs out or they're fussing about wearing an outfit that you didn't want them to wear uh or you want them to wear and they didn't like it whatever just you know how how we respond you know you we've all heard the parents who are yellers and screamers

[22:25]  and you know they they just don't respond in a way that is um is wise and um and they get really big and scary kids feel that and the impact of that those cumulative effects of of that kind of emotionally unavailable parenting where children don't feel psychologically safe with their parents is um is traumatic it absolutely is traumatic and so for for parents to really just learn how to flex that muscle how to work it out and and begin to think about um what's going on wonder a lot gee I wonder what's going on with him I wonder why she's doing that um and what do I need to do how should I respond because I can promise you if I responded to my kids the way I really wanted to it would not be

[23:13]  pretty right it wouldn't it would not be pretty but um and I you know sometimes it hasn't been pretty and I've fallen short and I wasn't my highest and best but then I can come back and say you know what I shouldn't have done that or I was not okay when I yelled at you like that I'm so sorry and I I know you really want that or you really want to do that let's talk more about that so it's you know just the concept of of of thinking and being mindful about what your experience is and what the child's experience is and and really making you know it it it get put you in a better spot to be able to respond in a way that is calm and responsive to your child's needs emotional needs and when we when we react in a negative way right the word that was popping into my head there was emotional

[24:01]  regulation right when we react in certain situations with certain emotions those are almost subconscious blueprints on how we react in the future and a great example of this is I uh me and my girl friend have currently been together for like six years and when we first got together we uh have very different personalities and how we deal with conflict now one of the things that we've discovered in our recent years is we talk about how our parents reacted in certain situations when we were younger her parents very loud Italian like to scream yell to get their point across right and we first got together that was like a really big adjustment period for me because I was like why are we yelling in this scenario and she was like well I'm not yelling at you I'm just yelling to get my point across and I said okay that's interesting and then we started

[24:49]  talking a little bit more about my life and where I came from my mom as an example I do not have more than three examples of her yelling at me as a child when I was young and so whenever I come across conflict or something's happening I'm always very much like all right why are we doing this what's going on and when you're in a relationship with somebody who came from a different household that's a completely different experience and a complete normal reaction in those scenarios and I wanted to kind of share that story because I don't think her parents could have truly recognized those early examples of how they were reacting by yelling in those scenarios and how it would create that domino effect of reac action later in life from their daughter which is really interesting and this is kind of like on the front of my mind because of what we're talking about here yeah I have to say you know we're

[25:39]  talking about adult relationships but I've you know I've said before that raising my kids has been so much easier than living with my spouse who I've we've been married almost 25 years I love him to pieces but you know when you put two people from two very different backgrounds together there's a lot of navigating that has to happen there's a lot of understanding and and um we learn a lot about ourselves in terms of selfishness and just the way I operate the way he operates and you know when we when we have children um we do we have we have kids but when the general public you know when we have children it's it requires us to really think about um how how we get along and how we raise those kids together and

[26:28]  it's it can be complicated you know under the wrong circumstances it can be very complicated but yeah I mean you really have to know where you come from and really think about that and wow do I want to continue to do that and maybe you know you talked about your girlfriend yelling and she maybe she's not aware right that her loud you know demonstrative way of of getting her point across can be emotionally activating for those around her right and so we don't we don't want our children to to feel those kinds of things we don't want want that to be just our story you know oh gosh my mom always did this or my dad always did that so um you know I always ask parents too at some point when we get you know several weeks in maybe even several months in I I asked parents um what do you think your child would say their experience of being parented

[27:17]  is right and so I I take I I I think about that a lot like what are my children's experience of being parented experiences of being parented by me if they were to tell someone what would they say and um and I think if we if we can answer that in a way that we we think we we're doing a doing an amazing job that's wonderful but I think most of us are like oh gosh they're probably going to say this or that and maybe I need to work on that I want my children and I think all of us want our kids to leave us going man that was my mom was always this or my dad was always this man and so um yeah it's it's a pretty reflective thought-provoking question that a lot of parents don't really stop to think about they certainly know their experience of raising their child right but flip that

[28:06]  around comes back to that that sense of awareness right that sense of awareness and to be able to audit how we react in certain situations is incredibly difficult and it's something that I've really tried to get better at as I'm older is recognizing where I'm at in this present moment because when you can be present it's much easier to have that sense of awareness and that sense of okay understanding right that we've been talking about I want to use that as kind of an opportunity to segue into the topic of social media so social media today um one of the Prime examples that I've heard over the last couple years about the impact of social media is in 2021 I believe it was there was a documentary that came out called the social dilemma if you ever saw it on

[28:53]  Netflix it talks about how these tools have been engineered by incredibly smart people people not only to keep us coming back and being engaged with these platforms but to change our Behavior over time and when I think about going back to the earlier statement that we used about emotional regulation I might have mentioned this in a previous conversation with you but there's a book called indistractable now the author of this book talks about how distraction has been implemented into our lives and been anchored in Behavior whenever somebody feels uncomfortable whenever we feel bored whenever we feel awkward what is the one behavior that people have anchored hundreds of thousands if not millions of times it is whipping out our device from our pocket and looking at the screen to get a release of dopamine or a escapism feeling I really

[29:42]  worry about the impact of social media on the family dynamic because it's not just kids who are on their devices all the time it's also Mom and Dad so what are some of your intuitions if you will about the impact of social media on this early childhood mental health early childhood development space and the impact on that family relationship you know I was at a um a meeting this morning with some fellow CEOs and we had a um we had a a presenter someone come and talk to us about self-care and she brought up and and said what I'm about to say and it was like really like whoa this is true she said I think that these right here are going to be the the LED what led pain was in our generation right and because

[30:32]  we don't quite know yet what the future is going to look like when we do research down the road on what this Doom scrolling this Relentless scrolling and looking at our phones is is going to do to our kids um and that's just one one piece of it and and I think you know I have teenagers and I think about yeah I see them on their phones when my son is in an uncomfortable space in a group he's a shy kid when he's in group of of other kids he's pulls out that phone and he starts it's like his way of like not feeling alone or not feeling the awkwardness of not knowing what to do in those social moments and um you know before phones we all felt those awkward moments what did we do we didn't have a phone to to retreat to um I I know that for young children it's not it's not

[31:23]  even a you know anecdotal it's it's reality a lot of children have um we've seen a lot of kiddos have these kinds of um behavioral and developmental challenges right and we know that you know of course the pandemic played a part in in some of the um developmental delays and mental health challenges that we've seen um but we know that obesity we we can contribute to phone usage um brain development um social skills um a number a number of things right um relationship challenges so we know that phones are you know there's there there's there's good right we can use them for for good things like

[32:11]  to look up research and to use them as a calculator or flashlight and you know there are things that we can look look up on social media I mean on uh like Google and and and Safari but the social media piece um especially in teenagers as they get older we see a lot of a lot of mental health challenges because they're seeing things that are happening it it it causes them to think differently about themselves we also see the influence of some of the things that they're watching right when when I was growing up if your parents were conservative you were conservative your parents were liberal you were liberal whatever your parents beliefs were those were your beliefs and um not So Much Anymore you know kids are seeing things and they're being influenced in ways mind you without a lot of information

[32:58]  right it's just a a one minute little little piece or just a a verbage that they might read and and their brains are not fully developed they really aren't thinking that there's more to this story I wonder what the other side is thinking and they're just really being influenced by little things that they see and if you don't have a solid foundation within your home to really have conversations about what they're seeing and what they're reading and what um how they're being influenced they can really take a wrong term so again we come back to family communication how involved our parents in knowing what their children are looking at how they're thinking spending time with them um and really opening up those conversations and it's hard to do in in um today's world where

[33:46]  we have hardworking parents and kids that are in school and you're barely getting home after all these sports events and you're throwing something in the oven it's hard it's hard to find the time but um you know we make time for what's important right there's a once again I want to go back to that element of accountability right if we want to impact the future Generations in positive ways we have to be intentional about how we spend our time impacting this generation you know one of the things that I caught a lot of flack four of just being born in 1990 was people said you do Millennials you know you guys are the eighth place trophy generation and I always like to ask the question who raised the eighth place trophy generation because it wasn't me going into the trophy shop and saying I need a seventh and an eighth place trophy for these little kids who are in

[34:33]  a tournament you know what I mean and I just really worry about the idea of the long-term impacts and we don't have enough data but there is some surprising data out there and I think in our previous conversation I shared in 2012 there was on average 12% of girls who had major depressive episodes now this is when Instagram and everything social media just starts popping up as of the most recent data in 2023 31% of girls are having major depressive episodes so how are we not looking at the tools and the environment that are becoming such an intrical part of everybody's lives and correlating that data with the spike in mental health issues that we're seeing in such a young generation what's kind of your two cents on that yeah no I don't I I I

[35:22]  didn't know that data but it's not surprising and I really don't see anything being done very intentionally right like where if I don't see campaigns I don't see anything really happening it's like we all have the phones we all need them my daughter's phone is actually right now at the you fix ey break store getting and she just so she hasn't had a phone a phone for 24 hours and you would have thought the world was coming to an end right it's like we and me too I can't reach her so I you know I I it's like man these phones we really rely on them for so many things but not having you know the Snapchat and the things that that teenagers use was was like painful for her and um I don't see anything major happening I see that we're responding to it I'm sure more kids are on anti-depressants

[36:10]  I'm sure more kids are in counseling and therapy um but I don't yeah I I don't know that we're really doing anything intentionally in the US and I'm sure that maybe there's somebody listening that's like I know what's happening and I would love to know what that is um but it it I think we will see years down the road we'll see there will be research and we'll see these kiddos these geners um and Millennials that have really been impacted um and and you know I think there will be a shift right because it's really heavy it's really big now but I think there'll be a shift where it's not that important you know like it is now there'll be a shift I don't know what it will look like but I think there will be a shift just like I always thought that my skinny jeans that I have on right now were going to be cool forever and we're

[36:56]  moving back to WS like a bell bottom Gene which we came from back in the past so Cycles do continue to repeat themselves right um I'm even part of a generation where I've had to be incredibly intentional about what I expose myself to and I have a theory it's called the mental health diet so one thing you don't know about me and people have maybe not heard this on the podcast before but when I graduated um or when I went down to I graduate high school I went to a school in so South Carolina called Coastal Carolina to play play baseball I got hurt ended up not playing baseball lost my identity because that was a huge part of my life ended up getting into some bad habits like smoking weed and hanging out with bad friends who weren't motivated I gained 85 pounds so I was three bills plus I lost a whole bunch of weight and

[37:45]  as I started to get older I recognized that my fitness journey was tied directly to my diet it doesn't matter how hard you work out if your diet is shitty then it's going to be a bad result then I started thinking about all the stresses like the anxiety the feelings of inadequacy the comparison which is so easy on social media and over the last month and a half I deleted all those things off my phone other than LinkedIn because I use it for business and so one thing that I've recognized is I don't have those feelings of comparison I don't have those feelings of fomo I don't have those feelings of inadequacy or those little subconscious feelings that say well I should be doing this or I should be posting this when I don't have access to it my device and I've had to be incredibly intentional about my mental health diet because if I wanted a Better

[38:33]  Health Fitness from my mental perspective I needed to focus on my diet again what do you kind of think about that idea of a mental health diet oh I love it and and you found what works for you right you found that um that social media is absolutely detrimental to your mental health um I I would I would actually agree with you the same as for me I I'm not a big social media person either um I have them but I just because of work and I I need to promote you know the work that we do and and push things out regarding to my organization but I don't post a ton I you know I really it doesn't I'm just not that's just not I don't care I don't think anyone really cares what I'm doing a lot of people think people care what they're doing but I don't think anyone really cares what

[39:20]  I'm doing or what my kids are doing so um yeah I I I do agree with you there there are things that you know you you figured this out later on right you're you're in your um adult life you like kind of analyzing and reflecting on what's going on here how did I get here and what are the things I need to do to get back to where I want to be and I think it probably was a necessary part of your journey right it you probably grew so much in in that experience and you know those are so those are the things that that are part of our life that really help us get to where we want to be and with about them um we may not be there so you know being intentional about what you want and and that's where parents can really help CH you know as

[40:07]  Teena teenagers they don't want to listen to their parents but they are listening we think they're not listening but they are and so even though we may not see quick and and real drastic change they are listening and when you start to see like oh I wasn't invited to this and look at all these people that were at this party that I wasn't invited to or they're having fun together without me um how is that helping you right how was that helping you seeing that you know in my day we didn't have that and and we had to call somebody on the phone and if we didn't reach them I mean call them at their house and if we didn't reach them then we just sat there and waited and hope they showed up you know it was just that's just the way it was a simpler time a simpler time call waiting though I do remember getting call waiting that was a big deal I remember I remember caller ID we had a little like a box

[40:56]  attachment next to the phone at home so you could see who was actually calling you you know what I mean like those were those were big steps when I was growing up in the '90s early 2000s yeah I want to so we've talked about a lot of the macro issues that we're dealing with right the accountability the awareness breaking generational curses all of these things that are becoming more and more important but yet we are still facing challenges when it comes to being a Community Mental Health Organization because of things like reimbursement so anybody who's listened to our conversation today recognizes that you need a ton of resources in order to combat these macro problems that we're dealing with so what's kind of happening in our communities when it comes to Cuts in reimbursement because I have a ton of Partners who are in the mental and Behavioral Health space and they're having to lay people off because reimbursement doesn't support things

[41:44]  like Child and Family Services in some of the areas that they're working in so how do we navigate these challenges from your spot as a leader you know I think it's it's so different region to region even in Florida but across the the US depending on where you live um and I will tell you flat out we are a Medicaid provider um and and it what Medicaid reimburses versus What other insurance companies reimburse versus what our hourly rate truly is doesn't it's like 50% of our hourly rate right but the reality is it does not cost us any less to hire a mental health therapist with the credentials they require and the training they

[42:30]  require the person with Medicaid gets it the person without Medicaid gets it's the same therapist with the same credentials and the same amount of training so and people that qualify for Medicaid do not deserve any less quality in the services that they get period And so while Florida just received a very minor increase in the rate I think it jumped from like 73 and change to 80 something in change right 85 87 something like that you know it's something but the rate had not been changed since 2004 okay we're looking at over 20 years and you think about you know I I think about when I started here in 97 and what I was getting paid as a clinician in 20 in 1997 was like 27,000 a year versus

[43:21]  what we're paying our therapist now in 2024 crazy we can't support their salaries and benefits on Medicaid reimbursements so like I said it's different from region to region if you live in a rural community there's no way you're going to pay the bills with Medicaid the way you P pay the bills with Medicaid is you overload that therapist with so many clients that they're going to burn out and leave and you're gonna have turnover so we're fortunate enough to in our area to be able to access local government um grants through contracted Human Services with our local County Government governments in our two um we we manate and Sarasota counties um we're also we have access to a lot of um philanthropy we're very fortunate and

[44:08]  that helps to offset our our deficit quite frankly um but a lot of communities in Florida I have colleagues all around the state and they live in very rural communities they don't have access to philanthropy people with Deep Pockets that can really help support the work so it's it's very complicated and and so you know it we take we have a lobbyist we talk with our lobbyist about what we need to do I talk to our local Representatives yes we just got an increase in Medicaid rates but we need more right and so we do the best we can to increase our our contracts that we have with some of our local providers um but it's it's a real challenge it's a real challenge to to make ends meet absolutely it's it's really upsetting because over the last decade that I've been in the healthc care space I've

[44:54]  heard some terminology come up like whole person Health right we recognize that you're a human and every element of your Humanity including your mental health impacts your physical health impacts your overall health impacts everything that we kind of see and do every single day and when we start getting into these ideas of we can continue to cut rates but the demand in our communities is higher and higher than ever this seems like a game of insanity trying to do the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result and I just don't know how we're supposed to get out of this other than leaders like yourself honing the skill sets of curiosity and creativity how are we supposed to be curious enough to look at every single option that's out there like philanthropy and donors and being able to raise contracts in certain places to

[45:41]  be able to meet the need and creative to think about how can I use things like technology to help my team be more efficient so they don't get the time of having to document everything and having the burnout process because it's it's a really tough game to be in and so I empathize for leaders like you because you're ringing the bell saying we need help you're serving people especially in a population like Medicaid that needs support so much more because we've all recognized if you're in healthcare that there's other Downstream effects that cost everybody more when people are dealing with mental health challenges I just don't know how we're supposed to navigate these upcoming years unless we get the support that we need for organizations like yours it's it's and and I'll tell you yeah yeah I'm with you um the that I would tell I will tell you since 2020 it has been a real challenge

[46:30]  it's always been a challenge with nonprofits and I think people that aren't in the nonprofit world that don't have never worked for a nonprofit or been on the board of a nonprofit um they don't really understand like why the nonprofits always need money why do they um do Phil why is philanthropy a thing why don't you just go have another luncheon or a Gala um there's a lot of work that goes into events right and the way nonprofits work is you you rarely get enough money to to cover the services you can't even be creative because you don't have money to be Innovative or creative you have enough just to pay and God forbid you want to add a supervisor to really oversee these folks they're not there's no funding for that supervisor right so or if you grow so

[47:18]  big and you get all these contracts now you need to add someone in your human resources department where's that money coming from right nobody wants to fund an a Human Resources person or somebody else in your finance department so it's it it's complicated and um yeah we haven't had to lay off in a very long time but um there those are always things that you know could could happen um but we do our best we have a great philanthropy team um I'm out there you know meeting people and networking and um we have we're very fortunate in our area to have a lot of um amazing philanthropists people that care deeply about um children and um and so we're fortunate but there's never enough you know I I don't know what's going to

[48:04]  happen I don't know how things are going to shake out so we just keep doing and we've been around since the 1979 so we we keep figuring it out somehow and our budget's grown and we continue to provide services all around the State of Florida so we'll we'll keep at it we'll do everything we can to keep it going and this is why I like to host the podcast because when we can understand the realistic scenarios that leaders like you are having to overcome on a daily basis to be able to serve the community of people who truly need it it helps us amplify this story and the good work that we're doing and so chrisy I just want to say for everybody who's been tuning in today listening and watching this conversation's been amazing you've been able to not only provide so much value you've helped me reflect on some of the

[48:51]  things that are most important to me but also by talking about the mission that you guys are on to change the relationships that these children have with their parents by creating a sense of awareness and accountability to help them recognize kind of a first principl perspective on why we react in certain situations is the best way like you said to get ahead of the problem and to impact five generations from now and so for everybody who's tuning in I just want to say thank you so much for coming on the show and thank you for all the work that you've done in your 30 years of serving this community it means the world to everybody thank you it was an honor to be here I love talking about it so thank thank you so much it was it was great of course our last question for you came from a previous guest and this is really interesting um I was talking to an individual and she is a leader in Southern California and the topic of

[49:39]  discussion was about encouragement and support for leaders now one of the things that often is very difficult for people who are CEOs Founders presidents of organizations is we're often giving out support and encouragement to everybody else so who is giving you the support and the encouragement that you need when you have some of your toughest days you know I have um it is very important for leaders of organizations at the at the highest level like CEOs and executive directors to have that because it's not your board of directors necessarily they're volunteers and you can't go to people below you I have an amazing group of local nonprofit CEOs and we get together together every month

[50:27]  I actually was with them this morning that's probably why I'm in such a good mood I feel so supported in those meetings because we can talk about things that everyone gets and we absolutely support one another it's a very tight lovely group and I I recommend it we just it was just put together and um and we continue to do it because it's so important that we that we get together and support one another so that's where I get and I can reach out to any one of them at any time and say oh my gosh or even ask question questions like how do you guys do this so it's wonderful that's that's where I get I mean my husband's wonderful too but he doesn't really get what it's like to be me so we get it we understand well once again Christy I just want to say thank you for everybody who's tuning in and watching you've done an amazing job at

[51:15]  educating people on why the work that you do is so important because you're getting ahead of the problem and you're impacting Generations from now and I just want to say thank you so much once again appreciate it thanks Kenan it was great there we go that's a wrap