How Overcoming Addiction Led to a Multimillion-Dollar Business

[0:00]  if there's 100% of you and 60% of you is a piece of [ __ ] you got to kill the 60% so you can grow into that best version one of the things that I know about our Social Circles this is something that might be on the front of a lot of people's mind as you start to get older you start to recognize differences between yourself in your Social Circle the one thing that I found as I've gotten older is I have cut off a lot of the friends who contributed to speaking a version of Kenan that they once knew five six 7 10 years ago so when I get back around them they always like to project and speak a version of myself that is not the same and often because you are in a different position than them they will often say you've changed and the question is why in the [ __ ] have I been working so hard if I wanted to stay the same as you guys and that's a real realization that I think we have to

[0:48]  come into true honesty with as we get older is everybody does not deserve to be a part of your circle it doesn't matter if you went to middle school with them if you grew up with these people because we're on different paths and they're not going we're going so why would you continue to Anchor yourself back even family members a th% right yeah I I I do it all the time I'm good at it now obviously but when you realize that you don't speak to your worst enemy the way you speak to yourself internally an internal dialogue will not only become Behavior but it'll come external dialogue so if you're hanging around if you hang around 9 depressed people you're going to be a 10 you know we mirror the mirroring part of the brain picks up and anybody we get close to and you will start doing their their actions and their sayings even if you don't like so instead of hanging around the guys that don't validate you you need to

[1:37]  start hanging around the guys that lift you up every time you see and what happens is you get up in the morning we ignite the conscious brain then the internal dialogue becomes good all right guys welcome back to a brand new episode of the heart and hustle podcast today is a really important conversation with an amazing individual who sits across this digital table with me I've got Dr Rob Kelly now Dr Kelly is not only a man who has overcome incredible hardship is a demonstration of tenacity overcoming challenges in

[2:25]  life but also is the author of a book called Daddy Daddy please stop drink drinking which I read and everybody who's listening to this episode and watching this episode today should really tune into this cuz this is a story about overcoming adversity Dr Kelly welcome to the show man thank you Keenan great to be here hey guys great to see you all so Dr Kelly who is the man who sits across from me here today the man is a guy from England Manchester England uh who's gone through a lot of stuff in his life that was determined bordering on aggressive determined um to make something of himself and to save the world one patient at a time and I've I've been doing that for 30 years 2 while in America and you know I love what I do

[3:16]  because I do what I love and I can be very you know you either Love Me Or Hate Me Kean as you probably know I don't suffer fools you either want to get well or you don't whether it's depression child of trauma alcohol drug whatever it is is if you want to get well I'm your guy if you want to bring your mom and dad with a big checkbook I'm not your guy you know I treat this we have fun see I'm dressed nice for you today Keenan usually it'll be a pink top blue hair yellow trousers and sneakers like you've never seen before so yeah I believe in living life to the full I I I don't for the first time in my life listen to this guys I've got one thing that a lot of people don't have and that is enough I have enough I have enough of everything you know and somebody quoted

[4:04]  the other day is like you know I want to do this for at charge the guy said no what are you going to do money money I said I've got enough you can never have too much money and you know something I wanted to pray for that guy man he's like that's not true you keep Chase Chase Chase Chase Chase Chase and all of a sudden you're 80 years old what the hell have you got you got nothing I don't own anything that I can't walk away from tomorrow it's a great place to be the scariest experience is obtaining the life that you thought would make you happy only to realize that it wasn't what you hope for how many times are we willing to make that mistake Dr Kelly hundreds of times maybe but one sticks out when I got to America I started doing TV and stuff and you know I got rocketed into this uh kind of Fame thing and my hourly rate

[4:53]  went up ridiculous and the money started coming in and I remember get coming out my house nice big house dollar house getting into a brand new Porsche 9911 turbo I think it was having the you know $70,000 CUO watch on driving into my offices and I was the lonliest saddest person in the world came I really was and I tell people today you know try not chase the money enjoy the journey the money will come if your heart is in the right place and you aggressively you want to so today man I I've got to tell you everyone things were crazy we probably gave 25% of our money back into the community helping people like like dads who lost the kids because of drug addiction but now they're going to court to get him for the weekend we'll buy him

[5:40]  suits we'll pay his legal fees we'll put 12 months rent down on an apartment we just want to give back my wife and I hence why we started last month the Rob Kelly Foundation that's what it's about for me I bless everybody anytime whenever I leave the house I always bless somebody monetary because I can and with my time as much as I can but now I I still have the toys Kenan you know I still have the watches and the toys and the cars and the house but again this is very important for me nothing I can't walk away from tomorrow I want to give a nod to the man who came before the individual who sits across from me today because when we talk about a man who is now running a multi-million dollar recovery business with a 97% success rate I want to talk about what

[6:29]  were The Inspirations and experiences that you went through while you were in England that put us down this path to recognizing that this was the work that you were going to do to help people who were struggling like you once did well you know I went through my own stuff as you know nine years old I took my first drink on stage with my musical family at the age of 9 years old and when I took that drink the whole world just changed for me and uh nobody knew about alcoholism in the family then so I grew up knowing alcohol was good and when I didn't drink weekends when I played on stage I played the bass guitar uh it was going to be hard so I just got into regular drinking Back Where I Come From if you didn't drink you wouldn't really trust it and and that was just it working class lower working class um everybody would meet in the pub after

[7:17]  work and then go home and the wife would have the the dinner cooked and you know that that was it and uh slowly but surely it started to take its toll see I have I'm not only an alcoholic I have the addicted personality which also makes me a drug addict alcoholics are born drug addicts are made before you throw something at the screen guys we'll get into that shortly um so I was suffering badly all the way and and the biggest thing I remember from the early days is nobody had an answer for me nobody could help me they didn't know what I was going through and I I couldn't understand why until we did our own scientific neuro search is um I could understand that when I took a first drink I couldn't stop and that the alcohol became my primary motive to live

[8:06]  so the wife and kids and everything was second nature as long as they're alcohol and I didn't understand that I mean I went I work the doors if I wasn't working the doors I'd be in a band playing or you know I was at college that became the scene where alcohol is all around you um so I drank every single night and then it turned uh to liquor later on but I got married I thought that would be it you know I could I didn't think I had a problem I didn't think I had a problem drinking okay until I was homeless for a year and one night I dropped down to my hands and knees and I realized I couldn't stop drinking it took all of that the Mayhem in that house I stabbed my wife 3 two times one night because she won't let me finish a bottle of vodka dropped the kids downstairs left them in cinemas well I it was just horrendous and I

[8:54]  couldn't understand that everything else I took to turn to Gold every time I drunk alcohol alol it ended in blackout prison hospital you know that that was it for me or I died twice on the streets in Manchester um I attempted seven times so when people say today they go yeah why did you check chances why you didn't died twice on the streets in Manchester that's all I got to say to you like yes or know he's a falling off I died twice on the street so I'm gonna I'm going to rent that million dollar office space in high on part Dallas for a couple of years and and you know sign that million dollar contract and people are like how do you sleep at I died twice on the [ __ ] streets in Manchester when you when you go through that what else can you do to me that I've already not done to myself and and we get this a crazy

[9:42]  double life so we get that alcoholics and addicts have two lives in one lifetime the first one that we mess up and the second if we're lucky we make something of ourself so if I'm not drinking and taking drugs I want to be the best ever at what I do like nobody can touch me can I think and and that's the way I've LED my life ever since I walked off the streets how does a man deal with alcoholism for such a long time and then not recognize the world collapsing around him until he finds himself on his knees in the street how does that happen well that's the F the full-blown alcoholic because I I think it was worse for me and I'll tell you why because I was becoming wealthy while I was doing this so money masked my alcoholism it's like when I'm walking

[10:29]  walking around the the garden you know the yard at like 5:30 in the morning taking my first gulp out of a bottle of vodka there's nothing wrong with that CU look at the house there's nothing wrong with that CU look at the cars we are you know our child go to to private you know and all that stuff and it was kind of great holiday so that mashed it for a lot until some really bad stuff happened in the house but when you are an alol see the definition of insanity is not the old saying when it comes to Neuroscience the definition of insanity is me not being able to see my own truth and I couldn't see my own truth so the Neuroscience which we'll get into later backs this up of oh my God that's why we that yeah but in the end nobody knew so I'm walking around getting away with all sorts of stuff because none of my

[11:18]  assistants or employees are going to say hey Rob I think you're drinking too much or hey Rob you drunk yesterday in the me no was going to say that my wife was happy she' come from the same areas of me all of a sudden we're Liv in a house on a hill and driving Bentley and stuff like that it's like no one's going to say anything to me but I didn't know I didn't know if somebody said you drinking too much ah don't be silly you know it's fine but you know obviously it wasn't fine and eventually my my wife left and took the children there was an experience that you mentioned in the book where you were talking about those early days as a musici you took your first drink you went back for a couple other auditions you drank before the audition and you played incredibly well and got the role so I want to talk about the anchoring process of doing something

[12:07]  like drinking and then having it be reinforced with a positive outcome and how that kind of creates a spiral if you will that can help us anchor that behavior in that action does that make sense yeah I mean it's all about patter so it was actually Abby Road for those guys who probably everyone knows that's where the Beatles become the famous recording studio everybody has uh as Rec body there was anybody um and I was playing in a a studio called strawberry studios in Stockport just outside Manchester 10cc on them and I saw this ad for a session Bas player um at AB road so I went down for a first audition see there was no cell phones or anything then guys I had to get I had to wait for a letter okay of the postman mailman I used I got on a train and I went all the way down to London you know so when I

[12:55]  got that outside I was I was [ __ ] I was 16 I don't know how old 16 17 I was a kid you know and I had to fend a Mustang guys if you're a musician it was a Fender Mustang bass guitar in uh like a like a mustard collar and I remember thinking to myself you know I just get one beer to relax man so that's what that's where the pattern started and the delusion thought patterns is I got one beer I stood outside I drank but I went in I pass the audition like weeks later they sent me a letter okay you come for the second I think I had seven auditions for cuz it was a serious position and I was I was up against like you know Pro season base players and I was a kid you know but I was a good Bas playing kid that's what they didn't know if I touch

[13:42]  any I'm going to do it to the extreme the max whatever it is so on the seven interview obviously I had seven bear outside so first interview one bear second interview obviously two bear and on I went in I don't remember going in I was in blackout uh but this was my medj jork instrument man he I played it and a week later letter come and said I got a job so psychologically with the dysfunctional household anyway that the what the prefontal cortex was telling me was that when I drank alcohol I was amazing and I could do anything so that's where it turned around for me uh I was the only person at ABI that got fired for being drunk and wasted I didn't even think that was possible in music music industry especially back then cuz no internet tracing people but I spent some

[14:31]  I played with David B John Queen Freddy Mercury all have guys I did sessions for uh but yeah it's just the reward system that I was getting was was unbelievable it's like I'd work all day hard I'd come home at 5:00 I drink beer until 10: at night uh probably a bottle of vodka get him next morning hung over so I need a drink to get rid of the hang over to get to work and it just became a working part of the mind when we get fired what is the reaction in that moment because you're on and in the same room with some of the most talented musicians of the time you get fired for being blackout for being drunk what is your reaction in that moment what are we thinking we're thinking shame with thinking guilt I didn't know anybody knew very much the impostor syndrome so

[15:22]  this subconscious brain where all the crap his head kept saying to me well I told you you were fluke you you know you're impostor you know I told you when they'd find out who you really was you never out to anything just like your you know dad used to say and that and all that came back man I I obviously went home and I drank and I drank and I drank just to try and stop that pain because uh the alcoholics and addicts are more sensitive U to pain and to trauma than the normal person that's why we suffer more regarding that but yeah it was just disgusted I I was shameful h you know and I never touched my Bas guitar for about six months after that I I just didn't pick it up because I felt like a loser you mentioned something really important here that a lot of people in

[16:09]  the podcast deal with right when we are on a path and we become hyper successful as an entrepreneur or as a musician as an artist right often we have these internal stories that tell us when people find out who you really are something's going to happen where does that come from comes from childhood trauma childhood trauma is the gateway drug really want to get into this you know guys because everyone thinks s childhood trauma everything you do today everything you see the way you look at the world your behavior comes from childhood trauma and everybody has it alcoholics and addicts are more prone to it because we're more you know we're touched by it in a different way we hear things differently when parents talk to us so it all comes from back there it's like you're never good enough because

[16:58]  nobody nobody gives you a hand but with children my dad was very quiet he never he never gave me validation or approval on any I was I just come back with Mr Great Britain which was a bodybuilding competition and the trophy was like this High you said that was it so I was always chasing approval off them and I was always trying something so when I tried something and it failed I'd go right back to nobody no validation it was just a waste of time you know just what's the point because if they know him from the Council States or project if they know that you know I I can't really do this or and it's just it's just [ __ ] man from the subconscious brain I'm telling you see the subconscious brain wants to kill us and make it look like an accident that's the only way to put it if you're depressed

[17:45]  if you're PTSD childood trauma alcohol whatever it is he wants to kill us and make it look like an accident and he does a really good job at that and in N nine counts out of 10 you know it went over and a lot of people that has the disease I had uh die of die of that stuff you know so um it's really important that you try and separate like the subconscious brain wakes up in the morning when there's lack of oxygen the subconscious brain thrives you ever noticed when you're nervous guy you're not breathing properly and oh my God oh my subconscious brain loves that stuff man you don't waste the time you no good what are you doing going for that job who do you think you are you just a little kid from the Council of States you know and unless you ignite that conscious brain first thing in the morning that guy the other guy subconscious going to take you down the

[18:31]  worst days you weeks months years you've ever had man you can't let that happen it's really interesting to me that we're kind of on the topic of discussion about that internal voice now I read a book maybe three years ago was called the untethered soul and the author of this book talks about the roommate in your head and he uses the analogy of using the roommate because if you can observe that voice that is obviously not you and if you were sitting next to the the roommate while you're watching a movie and they were saying all the [ __ ] that doesn't matter like did we get the laundry did you go the gr the dry cleaners did I make sure I put that list on the groceries whatever it is you would tell that list to please shut the [ __ ] up yeah because they're annoying but also recognizing that that voice was implanted in your head by somebody at some time and so I really want to kind

[19:19]  of talk about where does that internal Voice come from is it just our upbringing is it experiences that we've had that have been traumatic throughout our life is it just childhood trauma what does that look like it's kind of a bit of everything it starts as a child when we're told see what happens we're told by by our mom sometimes you know don't put your hand on the on the um on the stove it'll burn you so we put our hand on the stoves ow so what the lesson do we learn at that early age is whatever mom tells me is the truth because I just did subconsciously you know kid doesn't go oh so we learn that what to tell the truth so what happens is Teachers caregivers stuff like that I say comments to it was like get up how many times have I told you stupid make sure you do this and the stupid goes straight in the subconscious brain and it stores and it stores and it stores all the

[20:06]  negative stuff it's like this guy in your circle guys oh you're not going to get that job I just he needs to go he needs to go and I'll tell you why everything we hear touch feel whatever we do as a youngster teenage it's all stored in the subconscious brain there's billions of billions of billions of memories there it's so complex but with an with the with the subconscious brain with all that stuff in all of a sudden the internal dialogue starts because you're not igniting the conscious brain the pre fundal cortex when decision time is going straight back to the subconscious brain so from that becomes an internal dialogue so an internal dialogue like dropped a pen on the floor oh you [ __ ] idiot stop that guys because the subconscious brain they'll take that and the subconscious brain is

[20:54]  very very patient and you can you go for let's say you're going for this job and you get an interview and you're nervous and then never all of a sudden the head will go get out of there get out of there you don't what you think look at that guy day went to University man he's got like 20 degrees you're here what the hell of you get the hell out and I'll leave or a person will be so we have to control that internal dialogue when you when you realize that you don't speak to your worst enemy the way you speak to yourself internally and internal dialogue will not only become Behavior but it'll become external dialogue so if you're hanging around the if you hang around 9 depressed people you're going to be a 10 you know we mirror the mirroring part of the brain picks up and anybody to get close to and you will start doing their actions and their sayings even if you don't like like I

[21:42]  had a girlfriend we become best friends like shut up I'm like Caren don't say that it's stupid within a couple of weeks of knowing it I said shut oh my go the meming part we pick up all the traits so instead of hanging around the guys that don't validate you you need to start hanging around the guys that lift you up every time you see and what happens is you get up in the morning weite the conscious brain then the internal dialogue becomes good so there's billions of neurop Pathways in their head 300 neurop Pathways is die every single day here's a question to you guys what are you replacing them 300 neurop Pathways with is it negativity from the past or the interal dialogue or is it new stuff from people you're hanging around making sure that you're bettering yourself if we're not if we

[22:29]  don't get up every day and realize three parts of the brain reset every 24 hours and that we start again it's not an AA thing we start again teaching you know helping complimenting doing the best person you can be everything starts to fall into place but it's only the last two years to be honest I've lost that internal dialogue because what happened with me instead of going for that job and getting it and fitting in I do this which you take me to there which you take me to there which you take me to there it's like all the time the money was coming in the fame was coming in it's like I'm on this show with 18 million viewers and I'm on that show and I think I couldn't catch my breath man he was they're gonna find out they're gonna find out they're gonna find out what that I'm a genius big deal that I've come through all the [ __ ] that I

[23:15]  went through which is now my greatest assd going forward and I don't give a [ __ ] what anybody thinks of me what are they going to find out and that was the most freeing thing I ever went through cuz I I went I had to go back about four years ago and see see my therapist uh and she took me through this and when you get to that place especially when you've gone through what we've been through it's like nobody really cares we think they do they think everybody's judging us we go into a room close the door everyone looks around you start laughing at something nothing to do nobody cares about me they got their own [ __ ] going on but my inter oh they're talking about me they're laughing at me what's I used to walk in the room k k and I used to look around and go I wonder if anybody likes me do you know I do today I kick that [ __ ] door and I walk in and go who the hell do I like in

[24:02]  here today there's a huge difference man and that's the only way to live it's not your ego people might oh what your e my ego went when they took my kids off me at the ages one don't come that [ __ ] with me this is a spiritual journey a powerful Journey well I've been St to sanity just like well my later life I'm 63 well surely you're two old I've just lost 157 in the last 18 months I'm back in the gym I'm killing it and the best sh of my life you know you've got to move forward every single day and pull away from that why do we struggle to cut off the negative influences in our life that's a great so often we struggle right with the people who we know are not contributing to us being our best self and yet we still put up with the

[24:49]  mediocrity of having them in our lives knowing that secretly they're tearing us down do we secretly yearn for that this is what happens it's part of the basal gangler so the basil gangle is a repetition strength and confirms part of the brain the more we do something it easy it becomes it sticks in the head so there was a girl 16 years old in Manchester late 60s got snatched off the side of the road tried looking for a can't finder nine months later car police car following another car light broke anyway they found a stolen screwdriver back to the house they had drills lamos everything there so this box in the corner he denied any knowledge of it smashed the lock off there was the girl that went missing N9 months ago she was alive but she was beaten battered obviously used to te her out every day secs her bath food restroom box for nine freaking month she

[25:40]  did that so when they opened the lid the policewoman in a horror let down she took this young school girl's hand and she helped her step out the box she took a police coat off and she wrapped it around this girl what's the first thing the girl did she got back in the box and that's what we do in life we keep getting no matter how painful it is like dysfunctional families and especially women stay in relationships way too long than you should we stay in jobs way too long we should we stay in relationship with our guide people way too long than you should it's that you have to break and smash that Bo box up on once you start to separate see I can always go back and help my people but I can't live there can't do it so once you separate what I call the CES pit right or wrong and they want to try and bring

[26:27]  you down and once you separate from them you're on a different level see I I don't mix with treatment centers you know NC what I don't do all that stuff we do our stuff we do it well we don't want to hear what you've got I know you don't like us we don't like you and that's fine but I have to pull away from that the mentality of letting Little Johnny back in the treatment center for $30,000 a month for his eighth time I I don't I don't get I'm speeches when I hear that but we have to separate ourselves away from them people you know even if they like I said before they oh look at you putting weight back on Rob I just joking that guy's got no reason to be my CLE and I will drop him inst I'm cold at stuff like that King if an

[27:15]  employee does me wrong or something uh I had my assistant here the other day and something happened and fired her I'll fire staff I I'll cut you off not doing that anymore because you start to believe that [ __ ] that they telling you because remember go back to when Mom said put their hand on the stove there's 1% is of your subconscious Brain still remembers that what you hear there's some kind of truth to it so 10 years ago I'm speaking in uh California there's a thousand people there it was beautiful night spoke and he said to me make sure you have a few hours after shake your hand they hog you thank you for coming and I did and 999 people said it was amazing one person said you were horrible you are very very aggressive and have a guess who I concentrated on for the next three

[28:03]  months and almost relapsed one guy this is a this is a powerful conversation because in order for us to become the best version of ourselves we have to burn the bridges like many people say but we have to also kill off part of us that is not serving that growth right if there's 100% of you and 60% of you is a piece of [ __ ] you got to kill the 60% so you can grow into that best version one of the things that I know about our Social Circles this is something that might be on the front of a lot of people's mind as you start to get older you start to recognize differences between yourself and your Social Circle the one thing that I found as I've gotten older is I have cut off a lot of the friends who contributed to speaking a version of Kenan that they once knew five six 7 10 years ago so when I get back around them they always like to

[28:50]  project and speak a version of myself that is not the same and often because you are in a different position than them they will often say you've changed and the question is why in the [ __ ] have I been working so hard if I wanted to stay the same as you guys and that's a real realization that I think we have to come into true honesty with as we get older is everybody does not deserve to be a part of your circle it doesn't matter if you went to middle school with them if you grew up with these people because we're on different paths and they're not going where we're going so why would you continue to Anchor yourself back even family members a th% right yeah I I I do it all the time I'm good at it now obviously but yeah mean when my when my sister from England 10 years ago and moved uh 20 years ago moved to Texas I was there four or five she came up I started speaking like I used to speak in Manchester accent uh so

[29:38]  we do mirror the people are around but they they will and nine out of 10 times they don't mean to but they will drag you back and like you said the only reason we know what any good is when people tell us that's it nobody tells each other anymore oh Dr Rob is amazing have you told him oh he already knows nobody [ __ ] knows okay I want just put that on the table straight away you know that's why we compliment people every single day it's like I can visit I can't live there though and and and some I've let a lot of people go most people in my childhood are dead it was a heroin addiction when I went down to college it hit our area a lot of people are dead but yeah I I just can't live anymore and I'm always bettering myself now can I go back and help them can I give them money every time I see them okay 100% 100% man but I have to remember that my does not

[30:28]  define me today in actual fact he the greatest asset I have and you go through it it's like oh my God You' been through all that I've been through all that so if somebody comes up and goes well what do you know about homelessness check losing your kids checks getting raped on the street check it's all checks man but I have to live in this place and and the other thing as well Keen I don't if you found this or any listeners are watching this there's a part of that Journey that becomes very lonely there's a part of that Journey where you're in between these guys and these guys my my project guys don't want to know me because I'm too rich and the rich guys didn't want to know me cuz who that this guy from the projects so it became it became like a year loneliness for me you know and it's about knowing your worth in that period and not even

[31:16]  wavering you know I have a dream I want to do this uh because I chase money for a long time K I chased it for a long time until a reason it doesn't make me happy I happy in an inside job and it's also obviously part of what we eat and hang around with and the four chemicals that we need every day in the brain um but yeah it's um you'll start believing that [ __ ] you know I will not watch this podcast I've never watched a podcast I've never watched me on TV I've never read my book after all these years I've never seen one episode of me and you know why after all these years Keenan I might start believing that [ __ ] I don't want to put myself in that position the presence is incredibly impressive because even the experiences

[32:05]  that we've gone through right can be triggers to take us back to a place that we don't want to go to you know as you were talking there I was thinking about my personal Journey me being an entrepreneur I've been in business for about 10 years I've had friends who have been incredibly successful making hundreds of thousands of dollars a month when we were in our young 20s early 20s and one of the things that I did that was the scariest experience of my life was putting a Target on the amount of monthly Revenue the amount of money in my bank account the car that I was going to buy and let me tell you what was the scariest [ __ ] thing ever is when I obtained those things that I put as a destination and they didn't change anything and in that moment I realized that the journey and the goals that I put in front of myself I [ __ ] it up because it wasn't an event it wasn't an experience it wasn't a Finish Line it

[32:52]  turned into a horizon and if you've ever walked towards the horizon or flown towards the horizon you can go as fast as you want you take a step towards it it moves farther away from you and that's terrifying yeah I've been there a few times um the last time only nine years ago I would say where I had everything I had all the luxuries you can even out score um I think I 911 brand new on the way to work on this person you know the realization that it's not going to do it for me the realization is time itself so I asked women I said we not got time guys we got to do it today they go oh yeah I asked I asked moms how many times have you said one minute and waving them off to kindergarten and the next minute I'm waveing off to college cuz that's

[33:39]  how fast life goes as 63 years old if there's one thing I would say to anybody who's entrepreneurs and coming up and trying to make some of is we don't have time guys we don't we really don't have time uh time is running out every single day so the idea of making I don't know $20 million a year is so you can help more people and be on the bigger platform and that that's what it's about I'm not worrying about I mean it's great don't get me wrong it's great every time I go to the ATM or mortgage i' have to worry about anything pertaining to financing I never thought i' would be in this position because I have to let that go I have no idea how much I got in the bank I have no idea how much we charge my my wife and my assistant look after that cuz like you I was looking at my my my app on my phone for the Bank of

[34:26]  America like five six 10 times a day I'm like I can't it's going to drive me crazy you know so I literally in the morning I do my breath work my teeth work my mirror work and I literally live for the 12 hours that's going to come and try and be that guy who's kind and I've been taken advantage of so many times so many times that we don't even borrow money or lend if somebody wants money from us and it's a valid reason we just give them just give it we don't expect it BS too many sleepless nights you know or don't want to know that you know I've been taking advantage a lot of times I'm getting better now but uh yeah it's just you know you have to keep reminding yourself that we we we created this 7.3 seconds so if I'm going at now sometimes

[35:14]  it was five and sometimes it was nine but we love the idea to 7.3 because it kind of sticks in my head that if you're going to do something so if I'm on the the sofa tonight I got a big can of Coke and a big bag of chips and I turn around to my wife to go hey you know something Wifey I'm going to go to the gym tomorrow I ain't going to the gym I know it she knows it the dogs know it I'm not going to the gym but in that 7.3 time frame where neurop Pathways split for a decision if I get up straight away I get my bag I put my sneakers in I put it near the door it's a good chance of me going tomorrow so the ideas that we get will be distant tomorrow or two three days ago so ideas come into your head for a reason and the quicker you clear all your stuff up and you start to get well psychologically people say wow

[36:02]  there's so many things com in my way man this is awesome they were always there it's just that you were too busy to see them you were too busy cha chasing that million-dollar contract when God Uncle Jimmy Universe was giving you 10 million you didn't see it focused I've got to focus it's like man you're going to be focused on that million when you're 85 years old satting at home somewhere and go where the [ __ ] did my life just go to this is an important realization because you know a lot of the messaging that even I have bought into through time is you know we are supposed to sacrifice our best years to live later right and of course there's seasons of sacrifice which I completely believe in but I feel like as I've gotten older one of the scariest realizations is from 23 to 33 went by like a [ __ ] microsc and now

[36:54]  my parents are older life is coming at me quicker and time continues to accelerate and how do we find the balance between trying to work as hard as we possibly can to accomplish the goals that we have while also being present enough to experience everything that's around us because we can get trapped in that busy trap right yeah it's all about looking at you and taking time for you whatever that looks like and you've got to get into a pattern you got to get into a routine every day like a like a baseline of a routine do thousands of things uh what I do is I get all my patience um to write five things every day in the morning what you're going to achieve that day despite you might do a 100 things but these five have to be done I do my breath work in the morning which grounds me and ignites the conscious brain and I have that pattern of what I do and what I don't

[37:43]  need to do that day and and slow everything down you know box breathing all the stuff that we use brain spotting to bring you down to the now because God forbid you walk out the door tomorrow and get hit by a bus and you just don't know I know loads of friends that gone you know it's just like life is so precious and it's we could be just we become so complacent as human beings but life is so precious and when you realize that like when we started this podcast today we never get that time back it's gone it's finished it's over so we're an hour older than we was when we start when you start to realize that a you putting us Earth for a reason B anybody can do anything that they want in life unless you have brain damage and

[38:32]  thirdly we don't have time and people always say to me when I said you can literally be anyone or or do anything that's how the brain works and the mind that's how it works it's a and b and c will follow well I can't be president of the United States that's what they used to say to me forget your political views for a second guys we had a freaking business on around the country for four years had no political experience whatsoever don't dare tell me that you can't achieve your dreams it's just not not true or somebody's put that there I want to apologize because somebody's put that there and we'll hold on to that and we'll hold on and we'll hold on and we're sat in the chair at 90 years old you realize that that wasn't true what that guy that girl it wasn't true and that have you've been running through Fair abandonment shame impostor syndrome all your life he's like who gives a [ __ ] if someone finds out who you are you got

[39:21]  to live for today you got to stand up put the chest out walk out the door smile at everybody you you know talk hi every Everybody man you don't know what people are going through so there was a guy walked to the go and get BD for himself or commited suicide police dragged him out the river they found ID back to his apartment looking for next kin when they got to the apartment they found a note on the table and it read I'm going to walk to the Golden Gate Bridge throw myself off and commit suicide unless on the way there somebody Smiles at me says good morning waves at me nods at me I will stop there turn around I'll try again here's the question guys how many people have you walked by today who's heading to the goldgate bridge see it's not about us it's not about us and when when you

[40:10]  start to realize that and you're giving out all the stuff that you want starts coming to you man because that's what it's about it's not about me people that are struggling out there say to it's not about you they go well I there's thousand people die today waiting for you to get your [ __ ] [ __ ] together and you want to set it all and relapse and relapse and relap how selfish of you there's people waiting for you you know to help them and you just sat on doing nothing come on guys this is really interesting to me because um in 2022 the Surgeon General came onto a national broadcast in the United States and said the biggest challenge that we have in society today of America is not another viral pandemic but an epidemic of isolation and loneliness when you think about how many people are fighting silent struggles the numbers become overwhelming yeah and

[41:00]  we think that there's going to be some sort of magical experience that's going to transform this but when we think about how we can impact the community that we all live in it's doing exactly what you said it's being present enough to not be distracted by your [ __ ] phone and to look at somebody and say hey I like your shoes smile at somebody wish them a good morning because that sense of connection is something that we have completely lost in society today because we've been tricked into thinking that the connection is going to come from somebody who doesn't give two shits about you in another country that doesn't know anything about your life experience and I really worry about that Dr Kelly yeah I mean look at Co we've not seen the backlash yet guys of covid we think we have no we haven't seen it so you ask did Japanese were good at this H and to some extent United States

[41:49]  are good at this which I'm thankful they are uh how what's the worst thing you can do to a human being well you take our identity off them and you isolate them that's it what do we do through Co we took identity office because we all wear mask and they told us stay in our house so I'm speaking to a kid a couple of years ago and I'm like how many friends you got oh I have 5,000 friends on Facebook said you plugged into the wall how many friends do you what you know and everyone's on iPads and everyone's doing this and it's like we've lost our youngsters have lost the out of communication and there there's a price to pay for that and we're going to see more and more horrible things happening with isolated teenagers I mean during Co when a liquor store is is granted a

[42:40]  serious business to stay open uh we know we have a problem somewhere so divorces went up by 12% during that time uh alcohol consumption went up by 27% in and just these these figures that we track throughout U is our future or we got for it unless a huge change around with people like me and you and millions others trying to change because nobody's standing up right now and and you know telling the truth everyone's trying to hide it's like the food industry is killing you man 90% of everything in any Supermarket is killing you it's got so many rany dos in it's all sprayed in corn Stars red this yellow this nobody gives a [ __ ] there's some some stuff there you can't even methylate so if you can't methylate becomes a deficiency that deficiency causes an illness so you know my dad has heart problems I'm on a

[43:29]  staple diet with him or something he can't methylate some food or vitamin he gets heart problems I leave the house I'm kind of follow the same staple diet because I can't I have a deficient it causes me heart problems and I think I got it from my dad it's not so unless the food company ties you and gets you sick and the pharmaceutical company got you for life I I say it all the time is there anybody out there now who's listening to this podcast ever taking a drug that's cured the illness that you don't have to take anymore yeah I didn't think so why would you cure it when you can treat it forever it's a lost CL it's a lost client you know it's like they're crazy diabetes one two and three Alzheimer's now diabetes 3 all about the Su and yet you look at the diabetes website if

[44:16]  somebody came to me tomorrow they wouldn't but if they did and go how do I get diabetes so know I'll send him to the diabetes website on the first page follow that diet follow that diet and you will get nobody wants to get anybody well anymore and nobody wants to talk about it you know it's like I was on a live live Nationwide uh discussion it's a few years ago now but Purdue attorneys were on per coo was on and me and they said you you don't need no you don't need to go on with this this guy's you know we had a discussion on there was Heating and I if I get into a heat discussion The only voice you're going to hear is m and make sure of them they file for bankruptcy the next day now I'm not saying it was me but I had a part to do

[45:04]  with it and other things that was going on it's like wake up America please you know we get depressed everyone gets depressed guys so we look at the medical journal what does depress say lack of Serotonin but we don't ask why my serotonin is low we go straight to the doctor and he gives us SSR and I it's a false serotonin so I'm stuck on that and guess what happens to my serotonin because it can't go higher than the false one it depletes and it depletes and it depletes so the only way I'm going to stand a chance in life is take that medication for the rest of my life that's how the medical fraternity work everyone's getting backhanders everyone getting money cars houses vac it's just horrible the way it works right now because there's no money in well people earlier in the conversation you mentioned something really important you

[45:50]  said getting better is a choice right there's an element of accountability in there now I know from our book that you had an experience where you met somebody and then you spent a lot of time together and then all of a sudden they were gone just like that let's talk about that a little bit wow I would share this for 10 years Kenan I would not share it because the fact sorry 10 years ago I just started sharing after 30 years so I'm on the streets one night um I've I've died twice everything's gone wrong 13 14 months in and I dropped down to my hands and knees one night early morning like two 2 3:00 Monday morning morning was pouring down with rain I was done I was absolutely done I was crying not because I'd lost my children or my wife or my houses and all that stuff right there and then the cry

[46:38]  from my belly was because I knew and I realized I can't stop drinking I looked up to the sky as an atheist because my priest molested me hundreds of times and I don't know why and I just looked up in the pouring rain as that rain was hitting my face and I screamed out if there's a God up there I can't do this on my own anymore I remember it as if it was two hours ago this guy walk around the corner man he had a little bible in his hand he was pouring down turns out he list he missed his last person from a Bible study and he's walked like an hour he took this shortcut and found me so he said you can come to the house went back I shaved a back for the first time in the year and he said you can stay for long as you want Ro I was like Wow bot God is the bot you've got to go to these 12 step

[47:26]  meetings a meetings with me and I'm like oh dry bedro I said okay it's dry bed come so the next day I went to this meeting and uh sure enough all the war story started and then this guy almost opposite because was in a circle said my name is John I'm a recovered alcoholic and I looked at Derek and I look back at him and what did he just say he said he's recovered you can't be [ __ ] recovered I've just lost it what's he talking about so I was angry at this guy but the more he spoke and the more he pointed to the book and more all all this stuff he told I was true so I went up at the end of the meeting and I said hey John Manny Rob will you sponsor me and he went no no no no no and just before the World opened up and swallowed me because that walk of about 20 yards felt like the Sahara Desert to go over and ask for help he said I will be a scre advisor for 12 weeks so he had me

[48:15]  every Wednesday going round there I used to leave Derek's at six got there for seven could not knock on his door before 7 Weirdo And at 1 minute to 8 no matter what we were doing he' walked me to the door p me good night and Away went so 3 hours with line every Wednesday 12 Wednesdays going to the same place doing different stuff feeling amazing and the last day he said to me on the Wednesday he said God bless you rob God's got big plans for you and your life will change from tomorrow and I said John I love you and thank you for everything but I'm in dereck's basement on a block mattress nobody knows I'm there can't change said God he'll take you to far off places and so I went home but I felt great when I went home because my last session I I walked differently I was proud I was you know I was like had a lot of confidence on me God the very next day and cleaning

[49:04]  up at the house because that was my job Derek comes on went hey the guy sweeping the floor is just left do you want a part-time job and I'm like oh my God yes which later turned on to be a full-time job anyway I get my paycheck about two three weeks after and I'm thinking a John I'm like all these things that's happened I'm working with people they're getting well so I bought him a little teddy bear I was going to surprising bought him a teddy bear for the gas station that's all I could afford let's be and a card and I wrote on the card thank you John for introducing me to God because he Capital H took the compulsion drink away and I went back to z p nobody there curtains look a bit dirtier and I was on the door woman on the right come out can I help you I said yeah where is John still living is John who said John your neighbor well I've only been there

[49:51]  3 months there's nobody been in there I've you know so let a go obviously crazy he knocked on the left hand door and the guy big guy came to the the door what you on said can you tell me where John's moved to relocated and anything John next door to you he went on to tell me that that was deric when you open the door You' fall down to the to the basement there's no flooring in it and I'm like this is weird so I'll go back to the meeting I'll see John there so the next day I went back to the meeting I walked in and I'm known as Robert back in the UK uh robt oh my God you're back again like thank God for that you recognize me does John still come here and he said John who I'm like John I'm getting annoyed K now I'm getting really I think all these are in on this joke I was over in the coffee machine talking about seeing him every Wednesday

[50:40]  and he said Rob we were chuckling because you were over in the Cofe machine we thought you'd found God because you speaking to yourself never found that guy but most of his work that he taught me is what we do today years and years in advance he was because he was on a mission so I tell I tell I only started telling the story 10 10 years ago and then seven years ago I admitted that it was an angel had to be an angel cuz my life took on from then and I did come to America and that was a fluke and a passport had run out and all that it's just crazy so you know if you're out there John listening to this and Angel I owe you my life that's for sure so I I when when people say why' you do this free or why' you do that free or Pro Bonos or stuff I want to be your John

[51:28]  that's all I say I want to be your John because I'm not supposed to be here so every day for me is at it the daughters that I lost ages one and three the police took them off me because I went on a two-day Bender when I had them and uh they' not been fed or changed diapers and the police took them off me my wife was there and the services were there and my eldest had mommy's hand and she's walking down the path with her and she said three things to the guys Daddy Daddy Please Don't Go Daddy Daddy please get better and the last thing she said to me was Daddy Daddy please stop drinking I can't do it I couldn't do it for them I could do it for me I could do it for them so four years ago she found contact with me after 28 30 years dad I want to see

[52:17]  you blah blah blah and uh we we flew over there you know probably more than that my my head for dates and times is not good but we flew over we met for the first time in all them years she hugged me and she walked into a living room holding my hand walking in and she handed me my three-month old granddaughter and it was right there and thenone I knew I doing the right thing and I would bow before no man because I was doing the right thing now she's my lead therapist in my Manchester office and my youngest five weeks ago got in contact with me on messenger and I go to see her in a couple of weeks so everything comes full circle guys you just got to know who you are do your stuff stay strong be positive and get

[53:05]  that conscious mind visualizing where you want to go I mean the visualization is really easy guys it's kind of if you imagine basketball court imagine 10 of you so hey Jimmy if you're listening imagine 10 of jimmies on that Court okay you can imagine all 10 jimmies You Close Your Eyes mind where would you want to be well I've never play basketball but I'm not I'm not a fool over near the goal near the net I'm going to get the ball I'm going to get a ladder cuz I can't jump that high going to bash the ball in the net I'm going to been a Halo of the game makes sense huh how do I get there you walk over and you take that position you don't beg for it you don't call for it you walk over and you take that position you see quantum physics says if we can see it we can do it if we

[53:54]  can visualize it we walk over and we take it and I found that to be true all of my life since I come the streets at 28 29 all of my life you've got to believe you've got to want you've got to go and you got to take it man nobody's going to knock at the door tomorrow guys and go Hey listen I've got a million dollar job for you here I got a future wife I can't it nobody's doing that you're on your own here guys make the first step get a spiritual whatever in your life because you can do it man I'm telling you i' I've worked with 8 and a half thousand patients every single one of them is better their life because you really need to know the secret of living it's not what you think is you need to know the secret of addiction it's not what you think it is we' got to know difference in our food it's not what you think it is we're all being told lies and we're falling into that getting the

[54:41]  Box in and if you want to become a champion if you want to become a leader and everybody who's listening to this now you're not listening by mistake I'm too old for this [ __ ] I've been through this so many times you're listening because you have been chosen to take this information and go out and lead lead an area a country and the world you know we're chain Breakers guys nobody else going to break the cham of your mental illness going through gener you can do that right now you can start it's not as hard as you think and it's not it's not what you think is Dr Kelly I can't thank you enough for this conversation um you are the embodiment of somebody who has overcome extreme challenges you've leaned into the moments of Doubt you've been to the the very bottom you've died twice on the

[55:28]  streets of Manchester you're now helping other people who don't have the opportunity to raise their hand for help and you're proving that there is a way to get these things done like treating addiction and alcoholism that a lot of people are not interested in actually giving us the real answers to solve and I just want to say for everybody who's truly you know listening and tuned in to this episode You Were Meant to listen and watch this episode because the message that you just heard from Dr Kelly is an incredible one and I just want to say man thank thank you so much for coming on the show I really appreciate it thanks Keenan it's absolutely amazing take care and think about it guys