How Women Leaders Redefine Strength in Leadership

[0:00]  but how many men's stories and women stories are we not hearing and mostly because I will tell you like me it was very hard for me to talk about myself I love talk about all these other great stories right but when we ask women to add their stories into our National Database so they live on where we say claim your rightful place in history they're like I was just doing my job every person in the military was just doing their job they were taking care of their person on their right and their left taking care of others which is what that sense of service is all about so but I really do think that these stories have got to be trumpeted and triumphed and that's why I love that this film is coming out with with Tyler Perry and Netflix so we're really proud of that

[0:48]  but how many more stories to your point are languishing on The Cutting Room floor or somebody said well I was just a you you fill in the blank whatever fash they were I was just I was only and I'm over it men and women alike all right guys welcome back to a brand new episode of the heart and hustle podcast today I'm sitting across this digital table with an amazing leader I'm sitting sitting across from Phyllis Wilson the president of military Women's Memorial Foundation now today's conversation is going to be one about

[1:37]  how sometimes we're challenged in a common setting that changes the trajectory of Our Lives the amount of effort that it takes to change narratives especially when it comes to the role that women play in our military but also the amazing work that Phyllis has dedicated her life to in serving our country and also serving so many individuals as well Phyllis welcome to the show thanks so much for having me I'm excited for this one so the way in which we're going to start off today's um conversation is by posing a simple question or at least you were posed a question or at least a challenge someone at one point in time said you shouldn't be parking in that parking spot and challenged you and that had a change of trajectory in your life can you take us back to that day in which you were challenged in the parking lot and what that meant to you did um sure I had served in the United States Army uh

[2:27]  jumped out of airplanes did all kinds what I thought was cool stuff for 37 years and I normally park way out in parking lots one I don't like anybody dinging my car and two I normally wear a Fitbit so I like to get as many steps as possible one day on the way to work I was charged with picking up cupcakes or something for some party at work and I was running late which is not common for us in the military but I was that day I'm going to blame it on traffic but I grabbed a veteran part parking space near the entryway into the grocery store and I park I hop out and instantly a gentleman challenges me hollers from across the parking lot at that excuse me that's veteran parking I said yes sir I know and I just kept walking and he's

[3:15]  like excuse me is your husband with you and okay now now I'm GNA stop for a second and I said you know um by myself and I am a veteran then it it went down this Rabbit Hole asking me when did I serve where did I serve what branch of service and uh the questions he asked made me quite aware that he knew a lot more than the average Joker on the street about the military so I said you know what sir I I believe you must have served and I want to thank you for your service and he kind of nodded but he did not say right back at you or kiss my butt nothing um and just sort of turned and so I went on into the grocery store and as I was doing that I I thought you know what if I had been a man that had never served but had the audacity to park in a veteran spot and got out I

[4:04]  don't think that guy would have said anything cuz really what are we supposed to look like as veterans um apparently I didn't look like the right mix but I thought any other guy served or not I don't think you would have challenged them and as I said having served for 37 years I had become aware of this place that late in my career about the military Women's Memorial and that it was honoring and telling the stories of more than three three million women that have defended this country and I just you know that's crazy talk how many more of us have to serve before we park you know without somebody challenging us in a veteran parking space and as fate would have it they were actually doing a national search for their next president of the foundation that operated that

[4:52]  Memorial and I decided he had me just I wasn't angry with him just ruffled enough to say okay obvious ly we're not on equal par yet so I dusted off the resume and now more than 5 years later here I am so if that gentleman recalls challenging somebody in Northern Virginia at a veteran parking space I want to tell him thank you had you not done that I would not have the dream job the best job that I've ever had in my entire life because I wouldn't have applied I was happy doing the job that I had at the time I didn't know how contented one could truly be with a job but that it took that kind of a spark to change my trajectory I think it's a beautiful story but also kind of underlies the difference that people think about when

[5:40]  you say you're a soldier or you're a female Soldier we talked about this in our previous conversation you're a soldier who sered over 37 years and to have somebody in that moment challenge you and say that's veteran parking you say yes sir I know and then come on to a second question when did you serve you should have also said I also have four Sons right who are also serving in the military as well so if you want to talk to a military family you got me it's a really interesting Dynamic that some people feel it's necessary to challenge others when it comes to serving our country and even parking in a veteran spot that's so interesting to me yeah I and I'm not alone in that I tell this story um fairly frequently actually and in audiences with a lot of women vetrans they're all nodding their head and after the fact they have to come up and share

[6:28]  their happened to me as well story uh I've even at one event we had almost a thousand women in the room and I asked them by a show of hands has that ever happened to you and hundreds of hands went up not 50% but still two three hundred women raised their hands that that had occurred I love it I purposely now park in veterans parking just in the hope somebody will say something about it and it's my opportunity to tell them about the the more than three million of us that have gladly put our lives on the line too um to defend this country that we love and we would love for that to become where when we get out of our vehicle in a veteran parking spot or if we have a t-shirt on or a hat that mentions something about the military

[7:16]  that they just don't default that whatever man I'm standing next to oh that's him it might be us too so 37 years served I want to ask a little bit about kind of your origin story who who was Phyllis as a younger girl and woman what kind of things were inspiring her and why did she choose to go into the military specifically yeah so my dad was born and raised you know horse and buggy Amish so nobody in that Community serves in the military they're conscientious objectors and during wartime um many of my uncles and and even first cousins they served in hospitals the men served in hospital Stateside for two years and that was their service that they gave but they were never considered veterans and they had

[8:03]  no status whatsoever but in lie of going overseas this is what they did so nobody in my family that I knew of had ever served in the military and nobody in my family had ever gone to University to college so that also was an unknown piece and I decided I wanted to become a doctor but nobody said you know that's eight years of college I you know you just don't know what you don't know but it sounds great like I had seen Dr Quinn Medicine Woman on television or or things like that I'm like well that's what I want to do um so I grew up as a tomboy my brothers uh and I we just we were always outs it was the generation that was sent outside all the time there were no gaming devices there was no anything we had board games but they made us bored and so we were outside

[8:51]  playing and uh along the way I decided after I graduated from high school that I was going to go to college but I was working two part-time jobs to pay for part-time Community College and after two years of that I'm like this is going to take forever and I heard a commercial on the radio from the the Army about be all that you can be and I said well what the heck and I heard they had College money so I'm like let me go check it out so a four-year commitment would get me more than enough College money to to complete at least a four-year degree and I could also learn a language and in this case it was German which my dad and all of his siblings and my grandparents all spoke a version of German in Pennsylvania Dutch and I hated not having a clue what they were saying so

[9:40]  the opportunity to learn a language was just icing on the cake and then I was in I thought I do four years and be out and then 37 years later I'm out but so many people I've met that served in the military they I haven't met anybody that said oh yeah I came in so I could do at least 20 years no we all came in for college or to do a stint to get our head on straight whatever it is but we met people that so inspired us we wanted to stay and continue working with them that time from that four-year commitment to go to college but also to learn a language right turned into 37 years what were some of the big lessons that you learned along that 37 years of growth in your maturity in leadership what were some of the core Staples that you think were imprinted on you in that

[10:27]  time you know what I love about the military is that they throw you into a leadership role almost immediately you know you're like a a squad leader you have some other group of people you're responsible for hell you're in a part in your life where you're not even doing a great job of taking care of yourself but I think that the value in that especially as a young person is that things that you won't do for yourself you will do for somebody else and if that meant that you had to keep track of four five six other people well that meant you had to be there a few minutes before they did to take care and make sure that they were all squared away so it taught you leadership in a way that you didn't even realize what they were teaching you you just knew you weren't going to get somebody chewing your backside off you know the drill sergeant

[11:15]  scared the Daylights out of us in a good way so I think along the way learning incrementally only being responsible for first yourself and then a few people and then a group of 20 or 30 people and then ultimately 125 people and then hundreds of people and it just it keeps growing and over time you you don't even realize that you've built this skill set that the Army has forced you to acquire um and now it's become second nature you just automatically do it it's just like anything else in muscle memory whether it truly is running your two miles or further or firing on a weapon cleaning a weapon jumping out of an airplane all of those they train you so many times so

[12:04]  many repetitions of the same thing until no matter what the situation bullets flying bad things happening you know in your heart of hearts you know exactly what to do yeah your hands might be shaking a little bit but you're going to do exactly what you've been trained hundreds of times to do the one time that it really counts did you ever think that your process of entering into the military which led to an EXT ensive career was also going to be the beginning of kind of starting your family Narrative of being able to join the military as well four sons who are enlisted in part of the military I mean that's an amazing Legacy to start do you ever get time to reflect on that or was that part of your your big plan or that just happened naturally you know it just kind of happened they say that the military is becoming more and more a family business you know because a lot of people that

[12:52]  know nothing about it it seems a little scary eerie I suppose you don't really know you understand you know there is a chance you may die yes but police firefighters there's all kinds of jobs and professions that they're rather dangerous um but I think the goodness is in the military I mean we are trained and trained and trained almost until you're so tired of being trained it's like can we just do something else but there's a rationale behind all of what they do and it does bring nearly all all of us back home and that's important but war is by inherent need uh incredibly dangerous and that's why you hope we never actually have to go to war but

[13:40]  human nature is such that we do now as far as thinking about my children of course I was married to another military person and we just I guess I really thought that along the way seeing the the absences that we work on for days weeks months from home that I didn't really think any of our children would decide that that was something that they would also want to emulate and follow in our footsteps as it were immensely proud that they are and then they all joined after 911 so they knew that they were very likely going to serve in a combat zone and they all have at times when I was also in the same combat zone as they so that's a little different it's one thing to go yourself

[14:28]  it's another when somebody you care that deeply for is also or or is in a combat zone then the worry changes differently and well some people would challenge me here Stateside and said how C how can you stand that why didn't you stop your sons from joining and I said they why would I stop them I'm serving why would I tell them this isn't right for them it isn't right for everybody but it was right for all of them whether for a chapter or a career some people this is is the need and they said what if they die and I said what if they do they could wrap their motorcycle or a car around a tree and you name the state in this United States and to what end or they could be defending our nation doing what they believe is right

[15:15]  they were all adults when they made that decision just like I was and they chose to serve and I'm very proud that that's what they've chosen to do now will any of my grandchildren I have 16 of them let's see if any of them opt to do that but at this point not yet I think it's an amazing story about setting an example to serve a purpose higher than yourself right and when the time and the opportunity comes naturally we're going to take advantage of that because we had a father and a mother who showed us the right way in order to kind of put ourselves in a secondary position to serve other people and that's a beautiful message that you mean kind of encompasses the the version of servitude but also the family morals right of doing what is right in a time of need and I feel like you should be incredibly proud of that you know and I am and and I did become a registered nurse on the

[16:02]  civilian side as well as having served as an intelligence analyst in the military and then some of my family my children that did not serve in the military are another one is a registered nurse she works as a an organ transplant RN another one is a master's prepared school teacher and right now because she has four babies they are at home yeah four um and she has decided she's going to be a homeschool mom for the next several years while she really gets these kids set in the you know they're all Avid readers everything that you would expect um a school teacher to want of their own children she's going to make sure that they are well set for Success because reading is we all know

[16:50]  that if you can't read well you can't really it's it's a just an extra barrier to success that doesn't need to be added for when she can be there and teach them as she is I mean so many levels and layers of inspiration and servitude here and doing the right thing are so incredible I want to ask you a little bit of a different type of question when you start leading this organization right you recognize there are so many stories of women who have come before you that maybe inspired you do you have any examples of just stories that kind of gave you this chills and recognizing the servitude of amazing women that came before you what was that like you know will tell you that I was um while I was a voracious reader all my life oh love to read it even as a small child curl

[17:37]  myself up in a room chair nobody would even find me because I was real small as a kid and I'd be tucked it back in a chair or the corner of a couch and people just keep walking right past and wondering where I was but I think sadly in the 37 years that I served I did not hear many military women stories and so the Memorial that I now lead had been it opened in 1997 and 16 years after it opened is the first time I ever learned about it so it' been open and and collecting all of the and curating these stories and and artifacts it's like a walkthrough Museum starting with the Revolutionary War when women disguised themselves as men fought and died on the battlefield the Civil War likewise and all the way in 1901 women were finally permitted through the

[18:26]  Army Nurse Corps to be actually in the military but they weren't called by any rank they were only called Miss or nurse and that held true for quite a while um I didn't know these stories though the whole time I was in the Army it was only after I started working here and some of our longer tenur staff have like taken me under their wings and just regurgitate so much these incredible stories that how did I not know them and I'm honestly a little frustrated thater America men and women boys and girls don't know some of these incredible stories because I think I was a pretty good soldier I could have been an even better Soldier had I known the trials the tribulations the service and the sacrifice that these men and these women

[19:15]  made Generations before I came to be um that I feel like I owe it to them now to make sure their stories are being told one key story that everybody can watch on Netflix in just about a month is the story of Lieutenant Colonel charity Adams early Tyler Perry is making a Netflix film about her unit that she led in World War II this is a black woman leading an almost all black unit of 855 women to Europe in World War II only women's group like it and Carrie Washington portrays the commanding officer charity Adams and Oprah Winfrey and others are in this Tyler Perry made film Netflix December 20th and the crazy thing about

[20:05]  this is she was in the same Army I served in for 37 years charity Adams served in World War II I never once in 37 years ever heard that name never wow and that's kind of frustrating because the Congressional gold medal a couple of years ago was awarded to this incredible unit for what they did in World War II kind of amazing now some of you may have heard of Grace Hopper she was a Admiral in the United States Navy ultimately she created one of the early computer languages called cobal and she is responsible for coining the phrase when you have a problem with your computer and you say there's a bug in the computer the reason that stuck is because of Grace Hopper she was working

[20:54]  on computers back in the 1940s and 50s and one of the computers stopped working they took it apart there was a real bug inside of it that was keeping it from working so afterwards whenever something went wrong with one of the computers Grace would say ah it's got a bug in it and that's where that came to be so does that make sense this is incredible yeah um this that makes amazing sense and I just think about how many if you're sharing these stories about systems like computers that we ain't engage with every single day and use common vacular and language like a bug in the system these came from origin stories that are based around women so how many other stories don't we know Phyllis oh I can't even imagine like I said there's more than three million of

[21:43]  us that have served and are serving now which they can all put their personal stories into our National Database and we have almost 320,000 of these stories like Grace Harper's Grace Hoppers and and charity Adams we have their stories and so many more incredible incredible stories shashana Johnson the only black woman in American history to be a prisoner of war shashana was just at the memorial um but 20 years ago she was taken as a prisoner of war by the Iraqis and her story is in there it's just incredible I mean she's hiding under her vehicle still gets shot through both legs is held as a p for um 20 some days until she's rescued I

[22:32]  cannot imagine what that the terror must have been like you know imagine one day being hiding away and hoping the bad guys don't find you well they found her and so there she was for 20 some days until our people were able to get there and rescue her incredible stories of Courage of service to this country of Grace Under Fire and those that before we were allowed to be anywhere near the combat zones incredible stories of what women doing what the country allowed them to do because by law we were precluded from pretty much everything men have always been required to serve in the military women had to fight to be allowed to do it I feel like this is an amazing opportunity for me to ask a question 37 years of service use the example of this

[23:20]  amazing individual who served in the same Army that you did but you never heard her story so what type of stories are being told to soldiers both man and female to get them inspired if not these ones yeah that's a great question I mean I remember certainly in the military hearing about in the good old days you know Sergeant Audie Murphy amazing you know Medal of Honor recipient World War II Sergeant York World War I and then all of the folks that have served in certainly in Vietnam the first golf War Iraq and Afghanistan our are servicemen and women that laid down their lives look at Pat Tillman and and other stories people that we know but how many men's stories and women's stories are we not hearing and mostly because I will tell you like

[24:08]  me it was very hard for me to talk about myself I love talk about all these other great stories right but when we ask women to add their stories into our National Database so they live on where we say claim your rightful place in history they're like I was just doing my job every person in the military was just doing their job they were taking care of their person on their right and their left taking care of others which is what that sense of service is all about so but I really do think that these stories have got to be trumpeted and triumphed and that's why I love that this film is coming out with with Tyler Perry and Netflix so we're really proud of that but how many more stories to your point are languishing on The Cutting Room floor are somebody said

[24:56]  well I was just a you you fill in the blank whatever profession they were I was just I was only and I'm over it men and women alike how do we Inspire the next generation of Young Americans to understand what service is to this country and why we're willing to die for this country if you don't have a sense of who came before and was willing to do it like charity Adams a black woman in the 1940s she served her country and and I like to say when her country did not serve her she still raised her hand Saidi will swear to defend this constitution with my life if need be so who am I to say ah I I I don't need to serve yeah we do we all need to find a way whether it's just in our local

[25:43]  community and helping a homeless person um just you don't even have to give them anything except a smile and look them in the eyes and say hi treat them like a human being don't look away and act like that you're too good for them I think that's what this is really all about that sense of community and sense of service I mean the sense of community is only parlay by the inspiration that comes from us sharing our own individual stories when I hear stories about what we're talking about here today I get inspired and I understand that there's a there's a a quick switch between humility and being perceived as being braggadocious I guess you would say for saying I did this and this is my story often I'm guessing when you go through the military they say you perform your role we do our duty we do exactly what we're told to do and that's not worth

[26:32]  sharing but I think in this world of social media and even being able to document this type of conversation there is so much inspiration that comes from just hearing the story of these individuals that overcame such challenges that it invigorates you to have a feeling of resiliency in knowing that you can overcome things because they did as well and I feel like that's where the True Value comes from it's really like it's group therapy here isn't it exactly you know I mean you're like oh okay so he did that and he survived it and he's he's you know and yes we all have bad days you know this this idea that it's you know ice cream and butterflies and and you know rainbows every day is is ridiculous life is meant to be hard sometimes but you have to know that there will be a softer Landing along the

[27:18]  way and then it gets hard again and then it gets a little softer you know I just lost my dad a couple of weeks ago and it's like there's times when I'm doing great and there's other times like I just got off the phone with my mom and she's not doing so well today for it but they were married for 65 years and so now she's wandering in a house by herself and it's not so great today but it'll be better tomorrow she'll have a better day you know one of us five kids will give her a call and and cheer her up and we'll we'll taking care of each other along the way and I think that's really what we need to do as a people take care of each other look at each other just you don't know that that you telling somebody hey I like your shirt today or you smell good or you know something that puts a smile back on

[28:05]  their face makes their eyes brighten up a little bit again it's painless to do and why do we hold back on Just Being Human to other humans and I think right now at the time of recording this right we just had the announcement of our new president-elect last couple months have been very divisive in our communities it's either your side versus our side left vers right and realistic Ally more so now than ever I feel like we need to come together I had an amazing guest on the podcast um is a guy named Dr Robert Kelly and he came on to the show and we talked about a really interesting example of human connection how it can save lives and this is a little bit heavier so I hope everybody's okay with me sharing this story but there's an individual who unfortunately died by suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate

[28:51]  Bridge this individual unfortunately washed up to the shore police officers took this individual's body went back to his hotel or to his apartment cuz they checked his ID and they found that he left a note that said today is the day in which I'm no longer going to be with you but one thing will stop me from going through with what I have planned I'm going to take my threemile walk from my apartment to the bridge if a single person looks at me in the eyes and smiles at me I'm not going to do it but if you come back and find this letter you recognize that not a single person looked at me or addressed me on my way to doing what I'm doing the small little nuances of just coming together and being being a human being are the type of conversations that I feel like we need more so than ever I don't know what your political affiliation is Phyllis I know that you had amazing um lifetime of servitude and I appreciate you for that

[29:39]  I know that you're also a caring mother I know that you've done so many things that have been above and beyond yourself and I appre appreciate you for the human being who you are and sitting in this conversation today but we need to get closer to that humanistic connection of appreciation rather than all this division that we're dealing with today I couldn't agree more I couldn't agree more and that's that's EXA exactly the the piece you know where I live here in Northern Virginia um there's a lot of times there's somebody right there in the in the intersection you know with a little sign looking for money and most of the time I don't carry any cash it's not so I don't give them money it's just I I have a debit card I just don't think about it but I still always look at them I wave I smile I nod I something instead everybody else that just sort of like if they don't see me looking at them they're still a human being and whether

[30:26]  you think they're they're fictitiously raising money that way or they really really that's all they have left it takes a lot of I don't I don't know if I would have it in me even if that's I thought that was my last option to go stand out there at an intersection with a sign and hope somebody would take pity on me and give me money um I do a lot of times especially as it's getting to be winter carry little Ziploc bags with um like some wipes um like a $5 bill will be in there some granola bars things like that one of the small bottles of water so that you know if I if I have them with me I can I can help somebody out you just never know what somebody else is

[31:13]  going through and that's a brilliant story about the Golden Gate Bridge and in three miles of walking so you got to figure if he was not walking at a fast pace that's nearly an hour MH the people passed him by and not a single person could even glance his way he he was he was absolutely invisible and that's a shame it is a shame you know there's a a couple things that are burning on the front of my mind right now 37 years of service now we are the president of this organization okay how did you make the personal transition from a career of servitude to now being the face realistically of an organization like this did you ever have any internal battles of impostor syndrome or an adjustment that you had to make for yourself what was that like the whole time and even while I was in

[32:01]  the military you know you can continue to get promoted along the way and and ultimately you know you're working in in some really great positions in the Pentagon and traveling all across the globe to go visit soldiers and troops and families and and you're just trying you know there were times early on um that I always had to like I wouldn't eat before any speaking engagement I was certain I was going to just barf I or you know worse than anything is like my stomach was in such knots I'm like it's going to come out one end or the other it was horrible it was horrible um because I felt like an impostor you know who why am I the one up here talking about this but because I do care and people could clearly sense that you know if they had an issue that their

[32:48]  leadership within the military or you know as a family concern that just nobody was really listening to and it's like suck it up cupcake you still got to go to work and you know sometimes we need to be a little bit more mindful about when the challenge is is really at the the last straw it's breaking somebody's back you know sometimes you just got to take a knee is what we say in the military you know you can keep driving on and keep marching and running sometimes you got to stop and put put your knee down and say I need a breather for a minute either mentally and or physical and I think that that was one of the things that along the way I learned to embrace it cuz I knew that I could make a difference for other people so I was like okay put me in coach I'm ready to do this and now that I'm quite comfortable after five years in this

[33:37]  role as the president of a large Foundation we've got to raise over $5 million a year and you know we're not selling anything we have to rely on people's generosity and their donations to keep this beautiful National Memorial that Congress says we can't charge admission says it has to be open seven days a week it has to be illuminated out front just like the Lincoln Memorial every night of the week illuminated this big building um but they don't give us any money to pay that light bill or anything so we have to ask America to help us and but learning these stories I have 12 new ones on my desk every one of them talks about Thanksgiving and with Thanksgiving coming up that was important to me to sort of see these women as what they took the time in their memorable experiences that the

[34:26]  word Thanksgiving is in there and I thought what were they giving thanks for what did they see as that and so it was it was really amazing to go through those 12 new stories that I had never seen before but there's 320,000 and growing every day um I'll never get through all of them but that's my goal is to um someday write some books about you know a a selection a cross-section of like 30 450 of them that have a theme not necessarily Thanksgiving but let's find a a thematic that would make that kind of a book or or whatever that story sort of coales and help America to know what these women across nearly 250 years have done because they love this country too have Thanksgiving and military service ever brought you a story of

[35:16]  connection that you might want to share with the audience yes you know that's the fun thing about it and I didn't put it in my story but I think I may go back into my the database the good thing is you can change the story that you have in our story cars and in Thanksgiving of 2007 I was over in Iraq um and fortunately in a way uh one of my sons was also in Iraq but over in taji and I was in bolad so he was able to get a helicopter over to our location my location went over and picked him up at where they landed and brought him over to um my my place and he had joined in early 2004 March of 04 and ever since he joined between all of his training and

[36:02]  his assignments he'd been in Korea he'd been down at uh Fort Hood now Fort Cavazos in Texas this was the first time as we sat there eating Thanksgiving dinner together he said Mom you know what this is the first holiday meal I've had with somebody in my family since I joined the army and that was nearly four years and I just I was sort of taken a back so when we got up from the we hugged again and I said well I'm glad you got to spend it with me not necessarily in Iraq but it was fun and that that was the week that we also promoted him then to Sergeant um so that was that was pretty cool we were happy to uh to have a few days to spend with us together in in a combat zone so yeah that was a special Thanksgiving for us if you could go back to that young

[36:50]  version of philis who's just thinking about taking on this new four-year commitment of military service and you had 5 minutes of uninterrupted time with her and you could ham Hammer home any piece of of advice on how she was going to navigate her career to meet us where we are here today what would you tell her for her journey you know I don't think I'd change a thing you know there's been pitfalls and I've stumbled along the way and other people have stumbled as well um but just like the parking lot hey this is veteran parking some of the these things that some people say wow why didn't you put him in his place why didn't you to what end I think it's taught me along the way um patience and allowing other people some Grace and and

[37:42]  I think that's the main thing is just keep leading with your heart don't be afraid to show people sometimes you're going to cry um sometimes with happiness sometimes with sadness but I think you know along the way as in 37 years of playing army I also some of those years was Army Reserve which meant I was a full-time registered nurse on the civilian side so I actually even very much enjoyed both geriatric nursing um Med surge cardiac all of those but um Hospice Care was one of those that was really special to me not everybody's cut out to to hold somebody's hand as they're dying apparently I am um I just I look at these people and think I don't want them to be scared and I don't want

[38:30]  them to be alone and so what can I do um and when we cry with the family after that that individual has passed away it's okay it means our heart is still pumping we still have the capacity to care and feel for each other and I'm like you know I'll I'll cry for my dad off and on like I'm doing right now um he was an amazing man a really great dad so proud of me just bragged bragged on me CU I was his only kid that that went to the military and and then to make a a full career of it and be inducted into a couple of military hall of fames and things like that he was he and my mom and very proud of me and so I wouldn't change anything there were pitfalls and I've got scraped knees metaphorically

[39:17]  along the way for it but yeah I do it all over exactly the same way I just want to pause and kind of let that moment set in a little bit because the passion that you have for not only your family but for the people who came before you the men and women who are going to come after you and the stories that you're inspiring by just having this conversation today Phyllis is absolutely phenomenal and I know that your father had amazing accomplishments but his daughter's not very far behind she represents a movement a mission and an ability to tell stories for people who need their story told and I feel like that is why even forums like this podcast are so beautiful because if you're watching or if you're listening today you can see how important this is to you Phyllis and it makes me emotional and just recognizing how much passion

[40:05]  and time you've given to so many others other than yourself and it's just such an honor to be able to have you on the show I can't thank you enough for coming and joining us well it's been my pleasure I love sharing these stories and yes it does it does touch me because I am that passionate about it I cannot believe that nearly all of my life I did not know these incredible men and women stories so you know I don't do it simply to you know Champion the women because we are a very small percentage of the military and there are so many men that humble men that have served and fought and carried their own demons as a part of this military that they also say it was just doing my job what a fantastic job and what a great opportunity this country gives us

[40:53]  to do that kind of a job to try to safeguard and keep the demons at bay for the rest of America that is blissfully ignorant of what we do to keep them safe but they should not be blissfully ignorant of the names and the stories of the human beings that have done that work for them so Phyllis what are the next five years of your leadership going to look like with this amazing organization what are some of the things that you're focusing on and what's the future going to look like and how we can share these stories here it is it's less than two years away from America his 250th birthday so we're getting ready to really celebrate and and highlight that here at the military Women's Memorial we're at the entrance to Arlington National Cemetery and if you look towards Washington DC there's nothing

[41:42]  between us and the Lincoln Memorial so the 4th of July 2026 is going to be a fantastic we're sitting in the seat of one of the best advantage and viewpoints to watch the fireworks in the nation's C capital for our 250th birthday so we're looking forward to that but the very next year is our 30th anniversary and what we're planning to do provided we finished raising the the capital we need is to actually gut the entire inside Museum in the next two years and install all new high technology RFID multimedia platforms that are going to tell these 3 million plus stories in a whole new way that will capture the imagination of our Young Americans and

[42:30]  all of our visitors from around the world to come and see these incredible stories told in a whole new methodology that well we can only tell inside of the memorial right now one 1,000s of the story and we think we can probably tell at least 50% of the stories on an annualized basis and then rotate faster because of the technology that will have and so we're really looking forward when we opened in 1997 which will be a 30-year spread the front out front of the memorial there was over 40,000 men and women standing there to watch this place be dedicated and the doors opened many of those were World War II women two of

[43:19]  them were World War I women over a hundred years of age that were there that day and one of them said when I serve served in the Navy in 1918 when I served in the Navy women were not even allowed to vote and she raised her right hand swore that oath to the Constitution and served and that day in 97 she met Lieutenant Colonel Eileen Collins a space shuttle Commander oh my gosh in her lifetime she went from I couldn't vote but I still managed to snake my way into the Navy and world War I to meeting a woman that has commanded a space shuttle that's fascinating so the 30y years spread from when we open

[44:06]  our doors until we do this renovation and ideally host the Summer of 2027 an even bigger rededication ceremony more than 40,000 people out front we won't have any World War I women we may still have we there still are World War II women alive so I have them all the way to these young women that are serving today and even their daughters and granddaughters and grandsons outside there to witness the rededication of this incredible place that helps to tell the stories of these incredible women so once that is done that's three years from now that gives me two years to actually um enjoy all of this without trying to raise millions of

[44:55]  dollars to do the renovation as well as millions of dollars just to run the place so I only have to raise Millions to run it and not to renovate it at least for a while so I want to do that for a year or two and then uh a lot more traveling of for myself I want to see I've seen a lot of the world but I I want to see it on my schedule you know being in Venice Italy for two or three weeks and not just two or three days that kind of a thing I can only imagine how impactful 3 million more stories would be on top of the Phyllis Wilson Story I mean just thinking about how impactful this has been for me today and everybody else who's watching and listening it's easy to understand Phyllis how you are the definition of heart and hustle seriously thank you so much for coming on the show I really appreciate it it's been my

[45:42]  pleasure thank you and that's a wrap