Your Mindset Is Your MOST Valuable Asset | Episode 20 - Sally Arkell-Boles

[0:00]  all right everybody welcome back to a brand new episode of the heart and hustle podcast on this podcast we talk about the heart and the hustle of everything that has to do with business but also life today I'm incredibly excited to be able to bring you our guest today our guest has a tremendous background she is the founder and CEO of dynamic intentions she is an elite success and mindset coach she spent 10 plus years as the Director and managing partner of an International Financial organization but in 201 20 Sally actually left her corporate career and became a professional or I'm sorry I'm going to resay that so in 2020 Sally actually left her corporate career to partner with professionals businesses entrepreneurs and individuals as a high performance leadership coach and Mentor in personal and professional development

[0:49]  Sally thank you so much for joining me today I really appreciate it oh I'm excited to be here Keenan thanks for having me so you know Sally one of the biggest things that I've recognized in my professional career is how important our mindset is now one of the things that I also recognize about your extensive background was you spent so many years in leadership roles in different organizations in finance and different places but my question for you is when you left your corporate career in 2020 why did you start focusing on mindset specifically and what was kind of the aha moment maybe an experience in your career that kind of addressed or at least kind of shined the light on why mindset was so important absolutely so there's a couple questions in there so the I guess the reason why I chose to go into this field um was because after having worked in corporate for many

[1:38]  years in leadership and coaching people my whole career in all different levels what I discovered was there was something missing there was something missing in the corporate training programs the corporate development and one day I heard that there was over 60 billion dollars a year spent in corporations for training people how to do their jobs what they don't train you in corporate is why you're getting the results you're getting and so I wanted to discover what was the secret key to those people that seem to seemingly easily have top results a lot of people in the middle and then people that would come into a career and they would fail out of it and it all had to come down to mindset because they were all trained the same way they were all given the same

[2:25]  opportunity but there was something missing in that corporate world and so I went went on a journey to find out what that was because it really was I was getting really curious about the difference between those three different levels and I would see people failing out and it would you know really affect me because I wanted everybody to be successful yet I knew there was something deeper down inside that was causing them to not be able to have the success because no matter how much we trained them on how to do the job you know the systems the processes that kind of thing one person could come and side by side with another one and that the results would be completely different so I knew that there was a missing link and that's one of the reasons why I got into this field is because I just wanted to get deeper and deeper into understanding that difference so that everybody would

[3:13]  have the opportunity to really tap into their greatness and be whatever they wanted to be do whatever they wanted to do and have whatever they wanted to have and so for me my passion switched from just leading teams and working with people in the corporate world to actually wanting to really help everybody to be able to determine what was that next phase for them to get to the results that they truly desired and in an easier more efficient manner I mean that makes a lot of sense to me because I think one of the biggest Dynamic differences in people and how they approach their job is really the mindset that comes along with that and I think it's very interesting I mean you talked about some amazing statistics $60 billion a year is spent in training people but how do we train the mindset of these individuals to perform at their

[4:00]  highest level I know because I'm specifically in the mental health space I recognize that our jobs and lives in general come with so much stress and so many feelings of overwhelm and how we approach the day from a mindset perspective and the tasks that we're executing on in business are so fundamental to us to be able to kind of show up as our best self but also perform in the role that we have in our organization as well yeah and I think you know when you're you're speaking in that regard there are so many outside stresses that we bring into the workplace place and you know my largest team was over 1600 people in one facility and and so with within that it was very evident what people were coming in to work with um and and going into their day-to-day jobs because we had also shift work went all day and all

[4:47]  night and so there was different people coming in at different times of the day some loved the night Shi some couldn't handle that um but at the same time they all came in with different things that were happening in their life every day and you know you could be sitting beside somebody one day and they're great and the next day they're just not wanting to do anything their attitude was bad they they just were in a bad spot or a bad place in their life something may have triggered it something might have just woken up that day and some something in a thought came to them and it just set them off or maybe they were driving to work and somebody cut them off and so then that started that anger and so when you're thinking about working with people because every business is people we really need to as leadership start to understand that the drive to be able to

[5:35]  get people to have success is to understand the backround behind our thoughts and that mindset is really critical because some people have been able to manage their mindset to be able to say I'm in work I'm focused I'm going to drive these results I'm going to be 100% here and I'm going to get the job done and I'm going to do it this way and this way works for me but that way doesn't work work for everybody and a lot of people don't walk into work in the morning saying I can't wait to be here I can't wait to get my day started there are some people that don't like that and often times in the days like I liked going to work I enjoyed work it was always challenging and I I liked it but you know my spouse on the other hand gets up in the morning and his thought pattern is not to go he doesn't like going to work even though I know he goes

[6:23]  to work and he has fun he starts off with that mindset where it's not going to be like I'm I'm not looking forward to going to my work today and often times in the morning he's leaving the house in that feeling State and so when we're leaving in that feeling State we're taking that feeling with us and then that feeling goes on to not only what we're going to do and produce in that day but it's also going to affect the people around us because energy is so powerful and so when you're walking into that workplace and you're feeling negative or you're feeling like the day is not going to go your way it probably won't yeah I completely agree so one of the things I want to kind of break down for the audience as well you know there's a lot of conversation out there about mindset in general but for so many people that kind of sounds like a a big

[7:12]  fufo idea if you will so why don't you spend a couple seconds kind of breaking down what are the elements of mindset and what does that really mean so people can really kind of I guess put themselves in the shoes of somebody who you would be coaching and how they can start kind of self- analyzing what their mindset is yeah so there's a couple some really major elements I think um I want to take you back to Childhood when we were in school so we were a little boy or a little girl and we're sitting in grade one or kindergarten maybe in grade two or three and you know you're sitting there Keenan and you're looking out the window and you're you're daydreaming and I'm there a good little girl doing my math and paying attention to the teacher and then the teacher says Kenan stop daydreaming Focus God this sounds so accurate it happens to so so many kids

[8:00]  but honestly that Daydream is a vision that's a vision for something that they're creating in their mind they're seeing something out there that allows their creativity to to take place when we shut that down as children it stops us from naturally attracting that energy of those visions that are going to get us to have that creativity to create what we choose in our life and so we we learn in an early age if you don't get an A then you're not smart not true at all we learn at at early age don't Daydream Focus we learn at an early age mom or dad told us money grows on trees we start to believe that because Mom and Dad never have money so and we don't have a money tree so what are we going to do so we start to learn these behaviors when we're young and

[8:47]  when we learn these behaviors which are really just an emotion that's attach attached to something that we've been told or that we've internalized and as children we don't have the ability between the ages of like when we're born to the age of about 12 maybe seven or eight is where it sort of starts to change a little bit but I'd say till about 12 where we don't have a logical mind to be able to accept anything other than the truth what we're being told so if that truth says Keenan you're not smart enough because you got a C and your sister got an A you're going to start to think she's a smart one and you're not right and so it starts at that early age so it's really important for us as parents to understand what we are you know could be parents grandparents

[9:33]  friends everything else putting these these beliefs into us that stop us from doing that and then when we get to our teen years that's when we start thinking the kids are getting you know a little out of control because that's when their logical mind starts setting and they're like well I'm smart just because I got a B back in grade one doesn't mean I'm not smart I'm really good at math I love math it comes so easily to me and so they start to question with their life logic at from age 12 onwards but what happens is as we age we could have an instance where you go to a corporation and you're you offered this job and then billy gets the promotion and Kenan doesn't and you think automatically you go back to the same emotions you had when your sister got a higher grade than you did and that's a paradigm that we have and we

[10:20]  create because it's a reaction to a behavior that we have that creates the emotion and then we act on that emotion and so for me one of the biggest elements there's two big elements I'll talk about this one first is the paradigms that we have which are those habitual behaviors with an emotional attachment to them that we just automatically are have programmed in US however we can reprogram them and that's one of the things I get to do so I love that piece of it that's incredibly powerful I want to before we go into our second Point here I kind of want to talk about that belief system so one of the things that I know is when we are younger many of our beliefs are almost forced upon us because we're told what's a think what to believe especially in the education system I always joke around with my mom about me being young in school and I was that Daydreamer I

[11:07]  was that guy who was looking out the window and I was always being told hey you have to focus right and I just didn't understand why because the things that we were learning didn't seem so applicable to the bigger Vision that I had for life and that was always a super big contrast and when I didn't perform well in school my parents always tried to you know get me back into shape by saying hey you need to try harder but I was just never passionate about those things and now that I'm older I recognize that my world view especially in those early years was formed on somebody's opinion of how things were my teacher or the people who I interacted with and as I got a little bit older I started to challenge that Paradigm and started to think about how there has to be a better way to do these things and I know so many people who are also kind of watching or listening to this episode can also relate with that experience as well so I think that is so powerful yeah

[11:55]  I mean I remember my son I think he was in grade six or seven and he could do all of the math in his head brilliant from a math perspective and so I remember him getting a test back one time and he got all the answers correct but he didn't show his work so the teacher docked him marks because he didn't show the work he didn't need to show the work he did it all in his head and he did it so fast that his test was done before anybody else's she questioned it as if in grade six or S he was cheating there but he wasn't he was just brilliant and mad and so at the same time what does that do to to him to say because you were able to process it without having to write it down like everybody else was taught to means that you're lesser than because that's the message that would have been sent right and so when you you hear these things you think wow how what are

[12:44]  we doing at a younger age to our children to stop them from having that belief in themsel from stopping them to have those Daydreams because I mean you remember when you were little and grade school and you went out on recess what did everybody do they're having Joy they're having fun they're having laughter they're trying new things they're swinging from the ropes they're doing whatever is out there and they're just having so much fun enjoy and then we bring them in here this is what you need to do I'm not saying the school system is completely broken I say that there's certain things in there that we've done in our school system and in our homes that has prevented us from really understanding the impact we have to our children at a young age and we've all been through it I mean I was raised back in the day and no what that's like right but at the same time what could we

[13:32]  do differently as not only we're raising children but to identify it as adults what do we what has happened to us that was just a behavior that was taught from the generation to the generation to the generation and one of those things that's easy to relate to is eating food if you are raised in an Italian family you will probably be cooking Italian meals as an adult and those will be your favorites because they're your comfort foods and that's what you're familiar with right right if you were raised with Thai food if you in a Thai family then you would have been doing the same thing so if you think about those intergenerational habits food's one of them that we continually have because we became accustomed to it it became our comfort and we know that that's the food that everybody will enjoy when they come to visit so we normally attach to those so that can also be a paradigm where

[14:21]  some people are still cooking the same dishes that their parents and their grandparents and their great-grandparents cooked as they age not that there's anything wrong with that but why do we not have different choices that we decide to explore as we age I mean that's incredibly interesting because you know I heard a statistic recently that talks about 40% of our day is habituation right habitual actions that we don't even think about but we often act in an autopilot mode and I think so many of our decisions that we make and so many of the things that we do on a daily basis are kind of based on some of those emotions and those early experiences that we've had as well and so as I get a little bit older I start to think about about some of the ingrained behaviors and the way I react to situations and especially those emotions that start to churn up um that were kind of hardwired into me very early that I also recognize don't serve

[15:09]  me anymore just because of where I'm at in life but also the current situations that I find myself in I recognize that maybe some of my behaviors need to be challenged or at least my beliefs have to be challenged if I'm going to be as successful as I want to to navigate these situations with different results yeah so I mean the easiest thing to think about is what do you do when you get out of bed in the morning do you always sleep on the same side of the bed number one do you get up on that same side do you put your slippers on are sitting on your carpet waiting for you to put your slippers on because it's winter then you got your robe there you put that on you go to the bathroom you brush your teeth you do like the routines that we've gotten into like you're talking about are so ingrained in us that when we step away from that routine it's very uncomfortable right A lot of people will clean their teeth before bed a lot of

[15:55]  people don't but you become a habit right exactly taught as a little kid to have the habit of cleaning their teeth every morning cleaning their teeth before bed not everybody was taught about both of those at that time but the ones that are do it every day to Ching they've been doing it for 20 30 50 60 100 years yeah I mean it's like I I totally I totally agree with that and you know one one thing that I think about today is it seems like more people than ever are starting to challenge I guess you would say the status quo of how things always have been I think a lot of you know the in instances that I've recognized as I get a little bit older is we start talking down on the example of like gen Z because these guys are coming up in a completely different world than we came up in they have different opportunities and they often don't see the same value in going

[16:43]  through the same path or the same habitual patterns that Generations before them have so what is kind of your perspective on I guess the mindset of challenging the status quo and we'll use the example of like education as an example in today's world yep well I think we should be challenging the status quo we're moving at such a different pace than we've ever moved at before um and you know I'll just use an example my son when he was in his early teens was all on video games right it was all about video games or computer games all these different ones that he were doing and I saw some parents sort of not wanting their kids to be anywhere near but I watched my son and I watched how fast he could process and problem solve and be strategic and for me his brain was able to move at a

[17:31]  speed mine never was because I wasn't working and playing on games that made me make fast decisions and I had to be able to re react fast like that's how he was training himself so I'm like wow I could see beyond what was on the screen to see how his mind was working and how fast he was able to move in his mindset to make decisions quickly and so for me that was a big Awakening because as we're moving forward in the generations that are coming everyone's getting smarter everyone's able to access more information they're able to process things so much faster like myself trying to figure out how to use all the technology behind the scenes for my podcast is a lot of work for me but he could go on there and boom boom boom and it would be done in five minutes it will take me five days right because I was not trained on

[18:20]  that and so I think it's a beautiful thing that we're moving at a different pace what I want to be able to see is that we're moving on in a beautiful that's leading us to more joy more success in all areas of our life not just a financial success not just a you know have big house success that's all great but I want us to be able to have a mental mindset of ease and calm and less mental illness and being able to have conversations openly about what's affecting and what we can do to be able to to change and shift that dynamic because there is a lot of focus on mindset these days and I just happen to be in the right place at the right time and I'm appreciating that because for me it's it's a big Journey for me and

[19:07]  learning all the background behind why we have the mindsets that we have and what we can do to affect our futures and it's never too late doesn't matter how old you are how young you are you can learn how to manage your mindset so that you can go through your day with ease I mean one of the things that I naturally started thinking about while you were talking there is the intentionality of our mindset one of the most impactful books that I have read about mindset was actually called mindset by Carol D from Stanford and she pioneered the growth idea of a growth mindset and this is something that I super related with because when I came through the education system I found myself kind of confined in by a box of you have to perform from F to a on a test and one thing that I've seen as I get a little

[19:53]  bit older is people who were highly successful in this space of education when they find themselves in real world scenarios when they're in their professional life or their personal life and they come across hardship and they don't perform at the level that they're used to they have a really really tough time adjusting and so one of the things that I've been trying to really focus on in my entrepreneurial journey is the process of a growth mindset and it's not about the results that you get but more importantly it's the effort that you put in to your progression and that has been a major unlock for me as I've gotten a little bit older that's awesome because really any goal that we set for ourselves regardless of what it is if it's just to be able to have a happy home if it's being able to you know get to work and have a good job and make some good income raise our family every

[20:41]  goal is made to be able to enhance and growth in your development so every setback helps you get towards growth every Victory helps you get towards growth because we're we're shown these ways of having those setbacks and having these you know accomplishments so that we can grow and understanding that there is no end to our growth no matter what stage of life you're at and oftentimes I'm sure you've heard people in their 90s and hundreds saying they say what's the the biggest learning that or advice you could give somebody it's just to enjoy every day for what it is yeah just to enjoy and yet you know I look back to what we think might have been a harder life but which is probably a much simpler life to my parents that were born in the early 1900s and their

[21:28]  parents it might seem to us because they didn't have the technology the transportation and everything that we had but maybe it was simpler in a away right maybe it was what we're looking for is more of a Simplicity in our day-to-day life but just being able to go I like to I know it sounds silly go with the flow but being able to be aware of my energy in the moment and know that I get to choose where I'm spending my time at that particular point in the day and if I really feel like I need to just be out in nature and go for a walk I give myself permission to do those those types of things because that gets me back into the right energy to just have a smooth day and it's those little things we can do for ourselves that can bring us back on to on track to where we want to be in our day and whether you're working in an office you get a lunch hour you get a break just go outside for

[22:15]  five minutes just get that fresh air just go smell the flowers walk down the street see the tree say hi to somebody do something that gets you into a better energy so when you walk back in you're feeling calm we can release those other things that were bothering us within the building and I think that's a big challenge that so many of us face today especially in this work from home remote workstyle now one of the biggest challenges that I saw so many people have to adjust to in the pandemic was the separation of work and life I mean I've always been somebody who's worked from home so even in the very beginning of my professional career I had one job before I started my entrepreneurial journey and it's always represented sitting in front of a camera and working from my own workstation and so I've had to be very intentional about creating some breaks in work and really

[23:05]  recognizing through experience how beneficial those things can be to My overall mindset as well there's a crazy statistic that said that 69% of employees saw a 25% boost in productivity just by taking a 15minute break throughout the day and getting outside and sometimes being able to disconnect with that intentionality of recognizing that I can't just go go go all day that I need to kind of create that separation I think is something that more people start need to practice because it has such tremendous impacts on our overall mindset and how productive we are as well yeah yeah and it could be as simple as just closing the door of your office and just meditating for 10 15 minutes put on a YouTube video that has some meditation music and just relax right just relax get yourself into a good Zone get yourself to where you're feeling good um it might be going to get a fresh glass

[23:51]  of water and because water is very good for getting your energy back and then doing anything that's going to make you feel relaxed it's going to bring you into a a a calmer Zone because at work we can get very full of tension regardless of whether you're working from home because alone a lot of people are alone I was in a a women's Network group yesterday and um this lady who's typically a very very high performer she's been very successful in her career one of the things she said was like I am so alone I'm single and I'm in my home office now I don't have that Network around me and I need to be around people like you she was saying to the ladies in the group and you know this is someone that's had very powerful positions but yet still feels alone because of the working in the home environment right and it can get really

[24:40]  tiring like today I went out I thought you know what I've got an hour I'm just going to go out for lunch took myself out for lunch and because I wanted to get out of the house I needed to get out of the house I worked from home as well so it's like you know what I'm My Own Boss I had a really busy morning it was fabulous I had lots of great things happened I like I just need a break and so I took myself out for lunch like what does it matter right I was around other people I got to say hi to other people I got to interact with some people but I just got to be in a different environment and that in itself allowed me to come back and say okay now I get to go and talk with Kenan and have a great conversation because I'm fresh again right exactly I'm fresh I mean that that breaks my heart to hear about that woman's story but I know it is something that is so familiar to so many

[25:27]  of us you know in previous conversations you and I have talked about one of the things that happened during the pandemic was uh extreme experience of grief and loss from a professional perspective so losing our sense of community our sense of you know people who we could lean on in our times of just needing to connect from a human perspective so what are you think or what are your two cents on the sense of community that we need to establish when it comes to our work life balance and overall longevity of being the the highest performer that we possibly can yeah so I think you know for me and what I I work with clients on is surrounding yourself with people that are going to uplift you number one that are going to you know I kind of call them a mastermind group find five people that you really want to you know step up

[26:16]  to that next level so if I'm wanting to be from here and I want to get to there well then start surrounding myself with people that are already there because then I have a real interest in being around people like that so so you know whether you might be involved in let's say some people are involved in their local Chamber of Commerce or something along that type of line go and search up the people that you know you see are doing really well in the field that you want to be in or maybe there's something about what they bring to the table you're like wow I really want to find out this about John or I'd love to connect with s Sandra because she just is an expert on networking I can just see how she just shows up and it seems so easy for her start being around people and putting yourself in situations where you can be around those types of people so that you are still growing and you're learning because any entrepreneur or business owner or business person is willing to share

[27:04]  their secrets we just don't ask right we just don't ask as a oh geez how why would they want to talk to me but they will and I think the connection piece in the community we have to actively go after it now especially since we work from home most of us um that are entrepreneurial now and still a lot of people are working from home that work for corporations right and so when we're looking at that what what type of community can you get involved in or what could you do to establish a community for yourself amongst like-minded people so I'm on Zoom all day long it seems for a lot of the time but I also Target in certain times of my day for Community involvement and to be with community of people that are like-minded that I want to associate with so I always schedule those into my week as well and then I actually went

[27:53]  and started I moved to a different city I've lived here before but we moved back here um two years ago and I didn't have those connections anymore and everybody was still you know not coming out of the house so I started a women's networking a group again with a friend and just started building a community I you know with my friend like let's do this let's build it we need to be connected let's find the women around here that want to connect so we purposely went out to develop that to bring other women together now that's just an example but the community can be built and there's communities already built that you can join so don't think that Community has to just be online it can be any any way that you want it to be I have lots of international communities I'm involved with now which is so much fun because you learn about these other countries and what they're up to and and the

[28:40]  greatness that they've got but I think Community is really important for us to get back in touch with being with humans and being human with humans and being empathetic and understanding and really um just being present with them when we're with them I think that's so powerful because I watched um an influencer at the beginning of 2023 talked about one of the best ways to create value not only from a personal perspective but also in your business is creating that sense of community and that's something that I've actually been leaning into with a couple of my friends here in Las Vegas is a part of this podcast normally what we do is we come and we meet in person right and we have that interpersonal interaction which is so fundamental towards building a relationship but one of the things that I recognized about that interaction was other entrepreneurs Founders and CEOs

[29:30]  who I often interact with are looking for that sense of community as well and so we are starting a community here in Las Vegas where we really just want to be able to hold each other accountable towards the things that we're trying to accomplish in life and that's been a huge Dynamic shift and I was kind of hesitant to actually think about starting it in the first place until I started asking would it be valuable for us to create a mastermind group and all of the responses that I've gotten were oh my God absolutely that would be absolutely amazing I'm looking for other people like me but in this world of digital natives it's very difficult to create that in person and so that's something that we're really going to be emphasizing as well so I love the fact of you know being able to do that I think that's so powerful so Sally one of the things that I want to kind of take in the direction of this conversation is

[30:17]  I've got some topics of discussion that I think are incredibly relevant for people that are in the process of building not only a business but also a happier life for themselves so one of the things that I know people are dealing with today especially in this world of digital transformation is the the emphasis of struggling with self-doubt it's like in this world of social media everybody has it figured out and everybody's so much farther ahead of us and often that sense of self-doubt is something that stops us from getting started in the first place so what are your perspectives on self-doubt and where did those things kind of come from so I think there it's a two f um where did it come from in my opinion because I think because of the the digital Network that we're creating where we are isolated I'll call it

[31:05]  isolated because we are when we're by oursel we're isolated um that causes us to not have anybody to bounce ideas off of not anybody that you can go to that you know because I I I've always had really close relationships with whoever I was working with at the top leadership will and I would go in there every day and just say hey what about this idea and bounce ideas off of each other which would get me motivated get that other person excited about it and say yeah what if we did this what if we did that boom off we'd go and we'd be energized right now you come to your own home office and you're like hey Sally what are we doing today well I think we'll do this so you have to keep yourself motivated and it's very difficult because sometimes you can look at your calendar or you can look at what's ahead of you and you're like this seems so hard it seems so challenging and I see

[31:53]  all these people supposedly doing and having these amazing big businesses and they've got the you know they're the the influencers and things like that but are they happy right we don't know we don't know how long their Journey has been maybe they've been doing this for 10 or 15 20 years and we're only in our second year so we get into that compar itis when really we should just be looking at our own journey and saying what do I need to do today to be able to create my life the way I want it to be if if I was to sit down at the end of the day how do I want to feel do I want to feel accomplished do I want to feel stressed do I want to feel like I'm not getting anywhere do I want to feel like I have to look for a job or leave my corporate career like what is it because we start doubting ourselves when we isolate ourselves because our

[32:41]  minds will take over FP back to those paradigms when I was a child saying is this going to work am I worthy look at this person I'll never be like them they make it look so easy right and we know there's nothing that's easy in life it can be smooth but it's not necessarily easy because we have a learning curve and so when you look at that I want you to think about what is it that's causing that self-doubt it's just you telling yourself a thought that is untrue so why don't you tell your mind a thought that's untrue that's a good thought because when we put the self-doubt in it's like I'm not good enough I'll never make it what's going to happen if Etc so we put all those types of negative thoughts in but what if we said what is

[33:28]  possible what is going to be the the idea that comes to me today that's going to change my future how much money can I attract in my business today because it's going to be so much fun to serve somebody else in this capacity so when you start to change that word those words you're just telling yourself a different lie you've told yourself forever that you weren't good enough and you continue to set when you get in that self to you continue to tell yourself that but if we wrot program it say hey I caught that no I'm not going to doubt myself today that's the first step is catching yourself with the negativity that you don't want to be telling yourself that negative chatter flip it over to what you want it to be and have a couple of things written down or put on your board in front of you that have a couple of triggers for the ones that you normally get and start

[34:16]  saying it to yourself but with energy of achieving energy of excitement energy of feeling that you're worthy because a lot of self-d comes from us not feeling Worthy so we want to be able to reprogram those few thoughts so every time you hear yourself saying that you're like no that's not me I am worthy I am having success I'm not like Susan but I am me and I have a unique ability to help others and I think that's so powerful because I heard Gary vaynerchuk talking about this one time he talked about that internal voice and those self-doubts that we have right and often that becomes a cyclical cycle that we get into which is is telling ourselves we're not good enough and that internal voice and this narrative that we tell ourselves is incredibly important but my

[35:03]  question is how many six-month or two-year-olds do you know who have that internal negative narrative that they tell themselves often not many if any I don't think that that's a natural kind of thing that we experience in life and so going back to the beginning of our conversation today when we were talking about some of those imposed worldviews I want people to recognize that you naturally would never never doubt yourself you've had experiences that have kind of forced this worldview upon you that you're not good enough and that internal voice has been implanted by somebody else and it's really a matter of kind of working through the process to recognize whose voice am I hearing inside my head because that's not a natural story that we would tell ourselves and so when I find myself in those moments of doubt I often try and create that sense of awareness to call

[35:50]  action or attention to the fact that I would never really say this to myself so let me tell myself like you said enough another lie that I know can give me the Boost and motivation that I need to kind of get through this tough time yeah because it is we were telling ourselves lies every time we talk to ourselves badly so I don't have enough money I'm broke I'll never be able to buy a house you know I'm fat I'm ugly I'll never find a mate all those types of things we tell ourselves over and over again and a lot of the times it's when we go to bed we put our head on the pillow we start reviewing all the things that didn't go right what if you change that and said what's the one thing I didn't amazingly today and maybe it was just that you took yourself out for that 5 minute break that's all that you need to replace it with as one thing to be able to get yourself thinking down the right

[36:38]  path and so when you wake up in the morning you go to bed at night you can that's when a lot of your thoughts start to just run because you're shutting down your mind and your mind starts to feed all these stories to you right so think about that and say if I recognize that I have this thought that's the first step I'm self to deprecating I'm telling myself I'm not good enough I am good enough what am I good enough at I'm good enough because I'm always on time for work and that's how we start to build kind of like that momentum right one of the things that I've been focusing on recently is kind of building the evidence that I am the person who I say I am and often it comes in those small moments right because when we talk to ourselves negatively I don't think people truly understand the true impact of shutting down possibilities for our

[37:26]  to be creative and to think about things I was watching Steve Harvey the other day on Instagram and he was talking to his audience before one of his shows and he was like do you want to be successful let me tell you the secret it is the stories that we tell ourselves if you tell yourself that you're never going to find a good partner the odds are you're never going to if you tell yourself you're never going to have enough money the odds are you're never going to if you tell yourself you're going to be successful there's a high probability if you tell yourself that you're going to have the life that you've always wanted there's a high probability but breaking it down to that first principle about the narratives that we tell ourselves are just so powerful and I really wish people could understand that because when we wake up in the morning if we go through that same Narrative of telling ourselves today's going to be a terrible day I don't want to go to work no wonder you're going to have a horrible

[38:12]  experience throughout your life experience because you're the person who is narrating your own journey and it's really tough to overcome that narration yeah and it's you know one of the easy ones that I use is when we're driving to work in the morning and we're like oh my gosh look at this traffic and just sucks I'm going to be late for work and we start already getting into that and then somebody cuts us off and we get mad at that person and all of these things and what if you just said I just get to relax and enjoy the music in my car I'll get there and I'll get there smoothly and I'll get there on on time but I'm just going to enjoy these Tunes these are my favorite Tunes boom on they go and you just relax into it instead of worrying about all of this other negativity that you're already bringing as you start your day into the workplace so it's simple little things like like that they seem so simple but they're very difficult for people to exercise to

[39:01]  do that right and so that's I think where we have to start reprogramming ourselves and telling ourselves new lies because sometimes people oh that's nonsense because you're telling yourself that you're you're wealthy or you're sexy or you're going to have this man or you're going to have this woman and it's not true well it won't be true if you keep believing that they're not there if you keep believing that you'll never deserve that if you keep believing that that will never show for you so tell yourself a new lie make it a good one right make it a good one I get to travel the world one of the ones I've used I I did from when I first came out of University I said I get to travel on all over the world on other person's Dy and another person's dy I didn't know where I was going to go I ended up in my first career traveling to Europe all all

[39:50]  different countries and I went all through all different places in the US I was going to New York two or three times a year I was going to places in Canada down in LA and all this kind of places I'd never been before San Diego all in somebody else's dime and then other jobs that I've had same thing all of my jobs have provided me opportunities to travel go to five star resorts and everything and be treated like a queen because I just put a mantra out there when I started my career I get to travel the world in someone else's time so powerful and now if you think about this digital world that we live in you literally jump around the world you're in Las Vegas with me today right traveling the world on somebody else's dime which is pretty amazing that's so powerful yeah so I mean it's just whatever you believe can happen can happen and I I don't say it to myself all the time I've just always

[40:39]  believed it yeah I mean that's that's incredible absolutely incredible the next topic that I want to talk about is impostor syndrome so this is a big one because once again this kind of ties into our you know struggles with self-doubt often we feel like we're not good enough or we're not as professional as we should be and that stops so many people from getting started so why don't you kind of break down impostor syndrome for us and kind of some of the elements of that yes honestly I believe imposter syndrome is partly because of our well it's obviously our belief in oursel right it's what we believe about ourselves and again it goes back to comparing ourselves against the others so there's a lot of people as you know that work with people on mindset I'm one of them right I'm one of them I'm not going to

[41:27]  be like the Bob Proctor of the world because he's been doing that business for he was doing that business for over 60 years I've been doing that throughout my career but I probably won't be showing up the same way that Bob Proctor did okay so I'm not going to show up as Bob I studi Bob's material I love Bob I think he's Fab fabulous but it's not how I'm going to show up because I'm going to put Sally spin on it and Sally spin is who I truly am to be able to put that on there so when you're thinking about imposter people think because they're not as educated they're not as you know deep into that work that as the other person is that we're lesser than no it's our belief in ourselves and a lot of it comes down to how we see ourselves I call that our internal self-image so some people will show up and they're all

[42:16]  their hair is done their clothes are done they just like in the trendiest things and they look fabulous and they have all the look of everything but are they just showing up as that person in that look and do they have the substance do you have one thing that makes you unique in what you do that people relate to because impostor syndrome is us not believing that we are who we choose to be and one thing I know about mindset is if you become the the star in your show as opposed to the supporting actor you will start to show up like that star and that imposter syndrome will disappear because you believe that you have the ability to touch even if it's one person to help them in their lives because once you've helped one then it's easy to help

[43:04]  two then it's easy to help three and then it will start to multiply because people will see something in you that resonates with them and if there was only going to be one podcast host in the world would it be Keenan right would it be Keenan would he be the top one all the names that you've mentioned they've worked their whole career to get to where they are so that they can you know be voice to other people that can help us to be able to be where we are but don't believe that people aren't looking at you that people aren't watching you because people can relate to people that they resonate with and your story has something to tell you have something to tell and it's your belief in you that to that stops you from having that impostor syndrome because whatever you believe about yourself you

[43:51]  create right create that I mean uh I my most recent podcast guest um was a guy named Dorian and he is a coach uh a fitness coach a personal trainer here in Las Vegas and one of the things that he actually believes in more so than anything is that your unique value is what you bring to the market place and he used the example of one of his favorite inspirational speakers and this guy named Eric Thomas now Eric Thomas if you know anything about him inspirational speaker black guy who shows up all the time with a fitted hat on and he shows up and he speaks these words of motivation to everybody and somebody asked Eric why aren't you like the other people like Tony Robbins or all these other inspirational motivational speakers and he said very succinctly that Tony doesn't have the

[44:38]  ability to meet everybody where they need to be met I am going to relate with certain people they're going to connect with me naturally and that experience of that connection because I am who I am is something that I think more people need to lean into and that's a huge element that I see so many people dealing with on social media today we all want to be like someone else there's a lot of CopyCat individuals out here but unfortunately from my perspective there's so much opportunity left on the table because people want to be like somebody else but the the real thing is in this world of copy and paste we don't need more of what's already out here so being able to show up as your authentic self is so important and when you talk about showing up as the lead role in your story we're not talking about arrogance here but we're talking about

[45:25]  what I would consider that quiet confidence which helps you show up as your individual self and very quite quite frankly if people don't connect with you that's okay because there's seven plus billion people in the world today who relate with your story and I think more people need to kind of lean into that as well yeah and I think part of you know being the star in your own movie is allowing you to say hm there's something that I like about how this person is a characteristic about them I wonder if I could develop that because all of us have developed throughout our lives in and morphed from you know probably every decade we sort of morph in a way that you know there either maturity or confidence or understanding and maybe we just have become better at certain skill sets but is there something about other people that you've watched and you div and said hey I really love how that

[46:14]  person does this and I wonder if I could develop that skill set or that mindset or that you know that regimen into my routine because then you're starting to say if I was to really be who I want to be and I want to be able to be just I want it's one piece of this person like I want to be able to be structured like them in their morning routine like maybe the trainer has a great morning routine and you want to be able to adapt that what do I have to tell myself to be able to adapt that and then know that I can continue to have that because a lot of the things that we do in life we try we stop we'll try something else we stop we try something else we stop and therefore we don't get forward because we give up before we actually m master that skill set and a big piece of that for me was my morning routine to to craft my morning routine so that I knew you know

[47:04]  I I do things for myself first I always do mindset in the morning I do mindset Study Club in the morning it gets me in the the role of actually studying my business understanding more about my business all those distinctions and I feel more empowered as my day starts because I've got a strong morning routine and others will say okay well I'm going to do this and that this time whatever it is adaptt things that are going to work for you that are going to make you more successful um I found that I wasn't ever reading a book all the way through and I thought said well why is that that I start a book and never finish it because I get into them I'm like yeah I really like this and then I stop I said well what if I just change it to reading five pages a day I can do that and I'm getting through books because I set a different expectation for myself to educate myself on what I

[47:51]  was interested in so it's those little things that we can do to to help us to be able to get on track to where we want to be by adopting and and massaging the different things that we could do in our life to get us to where we want to be but people that work with me come to me because they resonate with me right they they resonate with me as a human as where I am in my life what I'm doing and what I've done and the way that I come across because I'm not one of the loud yeah come on and work with me you got to do this I'm not that I'm I'm a calm person and I'm a joyful person and I like to come cross in a manner that is authentic to me because that's what makes me unique oh that's so powerful so powerful as you were talking there especially about your morning routine like there are so many examples on the YouTube space as an example of like what

[48:39]  the CEO or the 100 million dollar or the million dooll entrepreneur does in his morning routine and I feel like so many people find themselves falling trapped to believing that that person's routine has to be your routine and if you don't execute on that appropriately then you're going to find yourself in a place of disappointment maybe you're not as valuable or you're not as successful as they are but one of the things that I learned from Tony Robins was the idea of modeling so modeling in itself is not copying and pasting into your life but changing and trying different things in an attempt to model what somebody else is doing but putting your own spin on it as well which I think is so powerful yeah yeah and that's that's a whole piece of it right I'm an early morning person I was raised on a farm and we

[49:26]  were always up really early in the morning so I'm awake at like 4:00 4:30 every day right so for me to be in a 6:00 a.m. Club is not a big deal because I'm a and so I will usually stay in bed and I'll put on my headset and I'll listen to a meditation and I'll go into meditation when I wake up and then I'll get up around anywhere between 4 5 and 5:30 typically around 5ish my husband gets up shortly after and because he's got to go to work early in the morning and so it works for me but so many people would say my gosh I would never get up at that time of the day are you crazy that's me so if yours is to get up at 7 or 7:30 give yourself maybe a half an hour earlier in your day than what you normally did and just try to make it a habit just don't have don't commit to having to do anything in that first half

[50:14]  hour say I'm just going to try and see if I can get up at 700 instead of 7:30 because if I can get up at 7 and I'm not feeling tired the rest of the day and I can actually do something that just allows me to sit and be calm then start there but if you think that the morning is a time that you just want to have to yourself some quiet time then do it I used to go running at 5:00 a.m. in the morning when my baby was little because that was my time that was my time and it was quiet and it was just like it's like I had the whole town to myself as I was running and enjoying the weather and enjoying what was going on but I didn't have to worry about my son because he was still in bed I didn't have to worry about my husband CU he was still in bed and I could just go and do what I wanted to do and that was part of my morning routine when he he was little so all of those things can add up over time for you to just say what's important to you

[51:02]  and where do you want to spend your time and how are you getting your self-care in me that's selfcare I think one of the things that you mentioned there that I think we should spend a couple time or a couple seconds riffing on is the building of habits so one of the things that people think about from a habits perspective is behavioral change and how difficult that is for so many of us well one of the things that people think about from the ability for them to build happier habits that actually kind of stick around is leaning on the wrong elements I would say a lot of people say it's consistency a lot of people say it's determination but there's something that supersedes both of those things and that is identity so one of the things that I learned specifically from Atomic Habits by James Clear was talking about one of the most effective ways to

[51:48]  instill habits in your life is to change your identity and then identifying as that person who is a early morning individual then we start backlogging or aligning our behaviors and our actions to align with that identity and that when we do those things makes everything so much easier than rather leaning on motivation or determination or consistency to be able to build better habits so I would love kind of your perspective on identity and how that kind of plays into our habits as well yeah so I think you know the identity I also combine with um desire and decision because if if you have something let's say you're 30 lbs overweight and you're tired of being you've tried all the diets they're not working and you're just tired of being that way and you're like I'm so sick and

[52:34]  tired of being sick and tired I want to get this weight under control but if you actually set the intention for yourself that I am a healthy fit whatever size you want to be I usually use women's size clothes because that's easier for them as opposed to weight and just say I'm a healthy fit size eight and I am just loving how I feel today and I'm active and I'm eating so healthy I only put good food into my body and it just is I just feel amazing so you just reprogram that identity and give yourself those affirmations and just say that you already there because when you make a decision what I found is that when people make a a quick decision people that are quick to make decisions will stick to their decision if you waffle on your decision you're

[53:22]  going to go off of it and part of that in the identity is to make that decision am I worth being in the best shape of my life as I'm aging am I worth being the the CEO of my business and how can I be create that because it just feels amazing when I think about it and so when we talk about our identity think about the elements like I I the best dad like I want all my kids to say Dad you're the best and to give me these big hugs every day because I'm just present with them all the time I'm present with with them that's sometimes all it takes right ISE being present so think about your identity and say what is it that I can do to reprogram those thoughts again because it's really our thoughts to say this is how I would like to be but don't

[54:10]  say it as if I want it or if I need it but I am I mean it's absolutely it's so powerful because there are so many elements of life that starts one of my favorite sayings is when we are on the right path the universe starts to conspire with us yesk and naturally that starts to put yourself in the position of recognizing that I am this person one of my key Journeys in life was when I moved to Las Vegas in 2012 I was like 60 lbs overweight and one of my friends said hey this year let's go to the gym every single day and I said I'm in for this and eventually I started telling myself that I am somebody who goes to the gym consistently and what that turned into was me building the habit of showing up day after day after day after day in the gym and before I knew it I

[54:59]  became that fit person because I was able to build the Habit that was sustainable because it aligned with my identity and it's crazy to think about how something so small can have such a huge impact on my life and my health in general and it's been a game Cher for me and I really think about why I haven't deployed that more so in my life because I have that hard proof in front of me that proved that that's that type of thing like losing so much weight and going to the gym was something that became such a part of my life because I identified with that person and who I wanted to become yeah and I bet you your diet changed your outside activities changed and how you you the things that you chose to do changed along with it because as you take on the new identity of that fit person not only does the weight fall away which is a huge bonus but everything else changes because

[55:46]  you're like no I don't eat sweets no I don't eat chips or Burgers I eat I get one I get this most exotic you know rice or something like this that really love and say oh my gosh and it was just so tasty CU it was all fresh ingredients and one ingredient foods and it was just the combination that they made was so amazing and I can't wait to have another meal like that you start telling yourself a different story and say no I don't eat that I don't have chocolate I don't have ice creams I don't I don't need that I I fuel my body for success and you start telling yourself those types of lies at the beginning those are more powerful than any diet you could go on those are more powerful than any change that you could make with other things that you're doing in your life

[56:32]  that are you know saying oh yeah I'm going to go do it going to isn't a commitment is it it's not a commitment we say I'm going to or I want to it's like no this is part of my lifestyle and I go to the gym every day I get to go to the gym every day you know I like that I get to I know let's let's let's talk about that really quick because that was one of when we first met that was a golden nugget that you dropped and I would love for you to kind of let the audience in on that small hack because it is so powerful yeah so this is something that I discovered having worked uh for years and years and years I always had a to-do list and my to-do list could be like a page long when I was at the office or you know even coming into this business and studying mindset more allowed me to realize that a to-do is a command and nobody likes to be told what to do do

[57:21]  they no nobody likes be commanded to do something so I changed it to to in my my notebook that I keep because I'm still oldfashioned today I get to be on kenan's podcast and show up with the most beautiful energy and have so much fun I always say what I want to be able to create with it not just that I get to do it but I get to is so much more powerful because that's a choice I'm making as opposed to a command I'm giving so if I give myself that choice of showing up in a certain way for whatever I got on my calendar it feels so amazing and I write it down every day just like that today I get to D and whatever energy I want to have come forward for it and that to me has been a

[58:08]  game Cher because now it makes my day all about my choice not about a command and a command feels so heavy to me it may not feel like that to you but a command feels heavy and negative energy and a today I get to allows me to be able to open up to the freedom and the fun of the day and just enjoy what I get to do in my day I mean and at the end of the day the fact that we have the opportunity to hop on this call today and hop on and collaborate about this topic of mindset is truly a blessing I mean with all of the hardship that's going on across the world like we see the fires right before you know this week before we recorded this episode in Hawaii so many people are displaced from their homes and so many people don't have the luxuries that we do do and so

[58:55]  when we think about the perspective and mindset that comes along with saying I have to go to work today I have to go to the gym you really think about what your rank is in all the 7.9 plus billion people across the world everybody in the United States everybody in North America everybody who wakes up in a in a warm bed that has air conditioning and internet and water to drink we rank pretty high on that list and so that's always been a huge reframe for me in trying to kind of think about the perspective of I get to do these things it is such a blessing when we put ourselves in that grounded sense of gratitude yeah I mean if you can't at this point even if we're a gym say I get to go for a run every day or I get to get outside and play in the park with my kids or I get to you know find a way to make it work within what you can afford

[59:42]  too because there's lots of ways to afford you can go to a library and get all the books that we've been talking about if you don't have access to the internet right some people can't afford that these days and that's okay there's other option options out there so if we think about all the things that we get to do how would you feel if you go into work instead of saying oh I have to go to work today versus I get to go to work today I get to I have the privilege of having that opportunity to go and earn some money be around other people create something with that organization or company give them some value because whatever I bring to the table it brings them value and at the end of the day it puts the food on the table for my family so I get to do that I don't have to go to work you can have a choice leave your work what are you going to do then

[1:00:30]  seriously exactly I mean that's a great that's a great question and we do have that choice you know I think so many people find themselves in that state of I don't want to call it victimhood but that's kind of what it is right we act like so much of our life is outside of our control and we don't have the ability to make choices but that sense of agency that we all have and being able to make tough decisions to change our career to do things that we're passionate about is something that we all have the ability to do but it's also having the confidence and the quiet confidence in ourselves that we're going to be successful even if we make those types of choices as well yeah and everybody's definition of success is different right everybody's definition of success is different so don't it's going back to that imposter or compar itis don't worry about what other people are doing do what's important for you and only for you because all you can

[1:01:18]  control is you that's right you can't control anybody else can't control the circumstances but you can control your resp responses to everything in your life and you can control what you choose to do and I think that's a big part of what we're losing these days too is we're losing the fact that we think we have Choice when we do have Choice that's right everything we do absolutely I heard a quote one time and it said life is 10% what happens to us and 90% what we do and how we react to those situations and even today I was supposed to have a live stream and unfortunately it went down we didn't have the ability to do it and I thought to myself I could be super down and upset about it not going as I planned but more importantly I can choose to make today a great day and now I'm here having this

[1:02:04]  conversation with you and it's been a great turn of events but I knew that my day was going to end well because I was going to be having this conversation with you Sally and I just want to say thank you so much for coming on the show I know you've given us so many nuggets of wisdom today and we have so much more that we could talk about but I want to give you the last couple seconds here to bring up any type of topic or share how people can get in contact with you anything that you're passionate about right now the last couple seconds is completely you okay so I guess the one thing I'm most passionate about is just letting people know that there's an opportunity for them to change today to make a choice today on how they choose to create their life because life is about creation it's about growth it's about choice and I see so many people like you were saying early Kenan about

[1:02:54]  you know in that impostor syndrome in that self-doubt in that fear in that worry and honestly at the end of the day we don't have to take all of that on we can just choose to be in a place of joy and peace and happiness and abundance whever we are and it doesn't matter whether you're living in a mansion or you're living in a vented apartment it doesn't matter if you're living in Mom's basement you can still choose to be happy and joyful and confident in Who You Are and who you're becoming because life is a journey and we're all in growth every day we're growing and if we're not growing what's happening we're dying so we need to be able to be in that place of growth and I always hear people as I'm getting older and other people around me are getting older oh I

[1:03:41]  don't want to celebrate my birthday because I'm getting so old and I'm like aren't you lucky right you got to wake up today and celebrate this birthday how many people didn't make it to this age and so it's all in our perception thinking that an age is a number that's going to stop us when an age is a number that can only Propel us forward if we choose that so I guess that's part of what I want to say is don't give up on yourself don't be so hard on yourself because there are ways to be able to Simply make some adjustments make some changes I'm not going to say they happen overnight because it's we've been trained in a certain way for a long time so it takes that recognition it takes reprogramming a number of times before you can start to Rebel things but anything is possible anybody can be

[1:04:29]  successful anybody can create their dreams and you can create them as big as you choose because when you make the decision to create those Big Dreams just like you said the universe conspires and every people places and opportunities will show up when you're in that right vibration and when you truly believe that you can create your future so that's what I would like to lead people with because I've seen it over and over again and I've experienced Myself and I I want others to be able to have it as well and so the best way to reach me is on LinkedIn just under my name Sally arel bus that's how I go in there I have a company named Dynamic intentions but most of my work is done through my personal profile um you can also find me on my website Sam name.com and you can also find me on Instagram and on

[1:05:16]  Facebook same name I just use my my personal name for all of that and then I also have a podcast as well um that is Sally speaks mindset so that one is active in YouTube and Spotify and will be up in apple soon so it's it's exciting for me to be able to connect with people I do have some launches that I'm doing this fall um just finishing up with one group of people that have just been incredible to work with and wanting to um just serve some more people as we're going into the fall winter season because I know that time of the year can be come as the nights get darker the everybody gets back into the routine kids are back at school and that kind of thing is when a lot of tension starts to show back up in our lives so if you're needing mindset tips mindset ideas just connect with me

[1:06:05]  go into the DMS let me know who you are and where you heard about it and I'll definitely help you with what I can well thank you so much Sally I know you've given so much wisdom today and I do encourage everybody to go find Sally on LinkedIn as well as listen to her podcast as well she's putting out consistent value for everybody as well so Sally thank you so much for joining me today I really appreciate it guys that's been another episode of the heart and hustle podcast we will catch you in the next one take it easy